Tag Archives: beer

September 4, 2013 · 5:15 pm

Stone Espresso Imperial Russian Stout

Espresso Imperial Russian Stout is a limited release ale from Stone Brewing Co. It’s brewed with real espresso and it tastes like something you could order from the local coffee shop. It has a rich coffee aroma, with a roasted coffee taste with hints of caramel and bittersweet dark chocolate. The espresso really comes out in the aftertaste and lingers on your taste buds longer than the other flavors. It’s a very smooth and solid stout, and it’s very drinkable for a beer with such a high alcohol content. 11% alcohol by volume is nothing to scoff at, and a pint is enough to make you feel sleepy. This isn’t a beer that you drink at a party. This is a beer that you drink when you’re staying in and catching up on TV shows. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, like you’re bundled up in a blanket made of beer and happiness. Stone Brewing has a reputation for quality craft beers, and Espresso Imperial Stout is one of the reasons why.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 31, 2013 · 7:57 pm

Café Racer 15

Café Racer 15 is a limited batch brew from Bear Republic Brewing Co. It’s a nice, strong Double IPA with an impressive 9.75% alcohol content. Long story short, it will get you drunk and it will taste good in doing so. They use four different kinds of hops (Citra, Amarillo, Cascade, and Chinook) that makes for an interesting flavor profile. I can taste fruity flavors like peach, mango, grapefruit, and even a little apricot, along with a piney resin taste with a nice malty finish. You really can’t taste the alcohol, but you can definitely feel it after a few swigs. It might be one of the most refreshing Double IPAs that I’ve ever had. If you’re lucky enough to spot one in the store, you should grab it. And then you should drink it. And then you should thank me for changing your life. My only complaint is that it’s a limited batch so I can’t get it whenever I want.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 29, 2013 · 12:18 pm

Forty Dollar Twelve Pack

I was hanging out with some friends the other night and the beer supply was dwindling. We had about fifteen minutes to run down to the liquor store to grab some more beer before they had to stop selling alcohol. We got to the store with about three minutes to spare before they closed. We quickly decided on a twelve pack of Heineken, and I brought it up to the cashier to pay. He took a look at my box of beer and charged me $39.99 for it. As in forty fucking bucks for a fucking twelve pack of shitty pseudo-imported beer. Fourteen dollars I can understand, but forty dollars for a twelve pack is pretty extreme. I wish I could say that I left the beer on the counter and told the cashier to go fuck himself, but instead I bit my tongue and accepted the fact that I was being scammed. That’s an extreme case of outrageous overpricing, but your options are pretty limited that late into the night. We returned to the party and announced that we bought forty bucks worth of beer and everyone cheered. Then they got one beer. Then they were sad and still thirsty. I suppose it’s better than nothing, but I will never get myself into that situation again.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 25, 2013 · 8:46 am

Keg Stand

No kegger is complete without a keg stand. That’s when you do a handstand on a keg of beer and attempt to drink as much as you can while upside down. Someone puts the keg tap in your mouth for you; other people hold onto your legs for support, and everyone else cheers while they wait for their turn. You can turn it into a contest and count out how long each person stays up for. The winner gets drunk, and everybody else does too. It’s a great game. Keg stands can be a little intimidating and you might be reluctant to try it because you don’t want to make a fool of yourself in front of everybody, but you should give in to peer pressure and go for it. You might be the best keg stander in the world, you’ll never know until you do one. Try it. I believe in you.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 23, 2013 · 10:33 am

Beer Bongs

A beer bong is a funnel with a rubber tube attached to it. You put the tube in your mouth, you pour a beer down the funnel, and you either chug the entire beer or spill it all over your shirt. Beer bongs are a fun way to get drunk really fast, just ask any fraternity member or bro. They are a staple of college life, and they still pop up at random parties when shit is raging. I remember I once thought it would be a good idea to bring a beer bong to the beach. We killed a few beers and set the beer bong down for a few minutes to throw a football around. And then we realized that wet beer bongs are sand magnets when we started drinking again. And sand and beer are not a good combination. And throwing up sand is pretty fucking painful. And chicks aren’t impressed with sandy vomit. I learned my lesson. Now I keep my beer bongs confined to house parties. Chicks are okay with regular vomit.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 6, 2013 · 9:54 am

A Slow Bartender

It was a shitty day at work the other day, so I went to Happy Hour with a few coworkers. We were in desperate need for a drink, but unfortunately we go stuck with the slowest bartender in the history of the world. We ordered a few cocktails and a couple of beers, and then we started playing the waiting game. We waited as he sauntered around getting the liquors and mixers ready. We waited some more as he gathered up the glassware and started to make the first few drinks. Then we waited as he came back and asked what else we ordered. Then we waited as he made the next few drinks. Then we had to remind him that we also ordered beer, and we had to wait while he poured them from the tap. Then he asked us what we ordered again so that he could ring it in. We didn’t have a complicated order. There wasn’t anything that had to be blended or muddled, just a few simple cocktails and some beers. We had three drinks that were the same, we had two other drinks that were the same, and we had two IPAs. We could tell that he felt bad about taking so long, and he even offered us another round on the house. We had to pass. It would have taken too long, and it wouldn’t have been worth it. Time is the one thing that you can’t get back. If you’re a slow bartender, you are in the wrong profession.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 2, 2013 · 8:34 am

Zymaster Series No. 4: Fort Ross Farmhouse Ale

Anchor Brewing presents Zymaster Series No. 4: Fort Ross Farmhouse Ale, an exciting seasonal brew. It’s described as a Belgian-style farmhouse ale with a California twist. They make it with hops, barley malt, wheat malt, toasted Belgian wheat malt, and a native California plant called Yerba Santa or Holy Herb. The Yerba Santa lends the brew a bitter, spicy flavor that compliments the malty, fruity, undertones. I taste hints of cloves and banana as well. It has an alcohol percentage of 7.2%, and it’s pretty drinkable. If you’re with a group of people and you can’t decide on something dark or something light, this is a pretty decent compromise. It has more flavor than Bud drinkers are used to, but they should experience a real beer every once in a while. And Anchor Brewing Zymaster Series No. 4: Fort Ross Farmhouse Ale is a real beer.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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July 30, 2013 · 9:35 am

8-Ball Stout

8-Ball Stout is an oatmeal stout from the Lost Cost Brewery in Eureka, California. Generally speaking, I’m not a big fan of stouts or porters, but occasionally I will grab one for a change of pace. It has a malty aroma with hints of coffee and chocolate. It tastes of coffee, toasty malts, chocolate, with subtle hints of caramel and a little hops thrown in for good measure. It’s creamy and smooth and is a very enjoyable brew. It has an alcohol content of 5.8%, which is pretty low for a stout. Most stouts are 7-8% or higher. But that just means that you can drink more than one bottle of 8-Ball before you start getting sleepy. If you like coffee and beer, then you like stouts. And if you like stouts, then you should try this one. Right now. What are you waiting for?

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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June 13, 2013 · 10:12 am

Anchor California Lager

California Lager is another delicious offering from the Anchor Brewing Company in San Francisco. They are best known for Anchor Steam, but I think California Lager has the potential to usurp its position as the brewery’s flagship beer. People like lagers and people like California, so it’s only fitting that they would be enticed by a lager from California that’s called California Lager. It has a 4.9% alcohol content, which is in the average range for lagers.  It’s crisp and refreshing, and hoppier than most lagers. It tastes kind of like Stella Artois, but with more of an attitude. It’s a great day beer, ideal for hot summer days and backyard barbeques. I like it. And you’ll like it too if you’re a fan of good beer.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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June 11, 2013 · 9:17 am

Neglected Drinks

If you’re a bartender or if you’ve ever hosted a party, you know all about neglected drinks. Neglected drinks are beers or cocktails that have been abandoned, either accidently or intentionally. Some are just a few swigs away from being finished, some of them have a few sips taken out of them, and some of them haven’t even been touched at all (which is the biggest crime of all). Alcohol is precious. It takes a lot of time to brew a beer or distill a spirit. So don’t waste it. If you don’t like it, give it to your drunk friend who will drink anything. You don’t need to set it down somewhere and pretend to forget about it. And if you’re already wasted, practice some self-control and stop ordering drinks if you can’t handle any more liquor. Neglected drinks need to stop. There are sober kids in China.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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June 5, 2013 · 9:57 am

Speakeasy Double Daddy Imperial IPA

San Francisco has a few amazing microbreweries and Speakeasy is one of them. They have a Prohibition/old-timey gangster theme that is evident in their naming of products and in the artwork on the labels. Double Daddy Imperial IPA continues the trend and has a backroom poker theme, proclaiming that it’s doubling down on the malt and hops with its no-limit style. It’s kind of a sequel to their Big Daddy IPA, only with more hops and more malt, and it’s also Imperial now. It has a malty scent with a caramel and pine aroma. You can really taste the malt when it first hits your tongue, but it’s balanced out by grapefruit and pine hops. It’s smooth and sweet and bold with flavor. The nice 8.5% alcohol content will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. It’s beers like this that make me wonder why people still drink Bud Light.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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May 17, 2013 · 10:04 am

Beer Theft

I had a shitty shift the other night so I went out for drinks with two coworkers. This bar is like our Cheers, we own that spot. The bartenders know us by name and they know what we drink. We bought a round, sat at our usual table, raised our glasses, and started drinking. We finished the first round and ordered another. After a few sips, someone suggested a smoke break and it seemed like a great idea. My friend and I were drinking draft IPA, my other buddy had a bottle of cider, and we each put a coaster on the top of our drinks. That’s the international sign for I’m Coming Back so Don’t Touch my Drink. We went outside and did our thing, and when we came back inside the beer glasses were empty with the coasters strewn aside. The cider remained untouched so I know it wasn’t a freak act of nature or an alcoholic ghost. No man, we got beer jacked. Our beers were practically full, but it was obvious that we had sipped from them. Somebody stole our used beer. I didn’t even know that people could stoop that low. That’s like somebody siphoning your gas in your own driveway. You feel used, violated, and scared to trust anyone ever again. Beer theft happens. Be aware.

Critically Rated at 1/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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May 6, 2013 · 10:29 am

Drunk Me

Drunk Me is kind of a jerk. Not to other people but to his sober counterpart. Drunk Me doesn’t seem to respect Sober Me much at all. Drunk Me likes to spend a lot of money on beer and cabs because he thinks it’s hilarious when Sober Me wakes up without any money to go out for breakfast. Drunk Me has a habit of leaving my keys or wallet in some ridiculously obscure spot, like in a to-go box in the fridge so that Sober Me can embark on a frantic scavenger hunt. Drunk Me also likes to open a new beer, take a few sips, and then put it down somewhere and forget about it, so that Sober Me has something else to deal with. Drunk Me likes to forget to set an alarm or neglects to charge my phone so that I’m stressed out and scrambling around in the morning. Drunk Me only cares about himself and the moment. He does whatever he wants to because he knows that Sober Me will be the one to face the consequences. Drunk Me has fun, Sober Me has responsibilities. Guess which one I prefer to be.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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May 3, 2013 · 8:52 am

Beer Koozie

A beer koozie is a piece of foam or fabric that wraps around your beer and helps keeps it insulated. If you like cold beer and want it to stay cold longer, you might want to invest in a couple of koozies. They keep the beer cold by keeping your body temperature and sunlight from infiltrating the bottle or can. You’ll always know which beer is yours if you have a custom koozie. For example, I have a San Francisco Giants beer koozie so I can always find my beer when I set it down. And it also repels Dodger fans, which is always a plus. You might feel like a bit of a redneck the first time you use a beer koozie. That’s not a setup for a joke, it’s a warning. You’ll probably feel like white trash. Relax… you’re only white trash if you bring your koozie to a restaurant. Leave the koozie at home.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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April 22, 2013 · 10:25 am

Drinking With Someone Who Doesn’t Drink

I went out to the baseball game the other day. It was my first game of the season and I was meeting up with an old friend. Our pact was simple: You buy the tickets and I’ll buy the beer. Naturally I was going to get inebriated. Gameday rolls around and we meet up at the stadium. I buy the first round, and I finish my beer before he’s even halfway done. So I bought another beer and finished it as he finished his first. I offered to buy another round and he said no. So I bought another beer for myself mostly because we had to kill time before first pitch. It was a hot day too, and I don’t need much of an excuse to crack a brew. It took until my fourth beer to realize that I was drinking with someone who doesn’t drink. I suddenly felt sloppy and like an alcoholic. But then I looked and noticed that the line for Budweiser was longer than the line for hot dogs and realized that he was the weird one, not me. Props for having restraint and self-control, but I’d prefer a few bottles of suds over soda any day of the week. Drinking with someone who doesn’t drink is ok as long as they don’t judge you and as long as you don’t judge them. It’s like eating a burger in front of a vegetarian; you don’t talk about how amazing it is because they don’t want to hear about it.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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April 8, 2013 · 9:41 am

Breaking a Glass Bottle

There is something so satisfactory about breaking a glass bottle. I don’t know what it is. Maybe I enjoy the sound it makes as it shatters into a thousand pieces. It sounds like music to my ears. You feel powerful you throw a bottle against the wall or at the ground. You feel like you are in control. It’s like a high. Chucking a beer can doesn’t compare to smashing a bottle on cement. I had a habit of breaking bottles in my college years. I just felt like it wasn’t a party until shit got rowdy. I’ve kind of matured since then. I still love the sound of shattering glass, but I’m usually not the one doing the damage. I still like breaking bottles but I don’t like dealing with the broken glass. If I could get the same sensation without the mess, I’d be a happy camper.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 29, 2013 · 9:53 am

Don’t Go Down the Aisles at the Grocery Store

I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but Americans are fat. Not all of us, but more than half of us are, and that makes us a nation of fatties. There’s no denying it. It’s a fact. We are fat because we eat like shit. We eat processed foods and preservatives, we guzzle soda like it’s water, and we consider ketchup to be a vegetable. But there’s an easy solution to avoid getting thunder thighs or an extra chin: don’t go down the aisles at the grocery store. What a simple but brilliant concept. Think about it, everything that is bad for you is in the aisles: cookies, junk food, canned goods, TV dinners, soda, all that hoopla. But if you just stick to the perimeter you’ll get all the essentials like fresh veggies, fruit, bread, milk, cheese, eggs, meat, fish, and all the stuff that you really need. Hell, even beer, wine, and hard alcohol are usually around the perimeter… like I said, all the essentials. Avoiding the aisles is an easy way to eat healthy. Remember that the next time you go shopping.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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