Tag Archives: coasters

Beer Theft

I had a shitty shift the other night so I went out for drinks with two coworkers. This bar is like our Cheers, we own that spot. The bartenders know us by name and they know what we drink. We bought a round, sat at our usual table, raised our glasses, and started drinking. We finished the first round and ordered another. After a few sips, someone suggested a smoke break and it seemed like a great idea. My friend and I were drinking draft IPA, my other buddy had a bottle of cider, and we each put a coaster on the top of our drinks. That’s the international sign for I’m Coming Back so Don’t Touch my Drink. We went outside and did our thing, and when we came back inside the beer glasses were empty with the coasters strewn aside. The cider remained untouched so I know it wasn’t a freak act of nature or an alcoholic ghost. No man, we got beer jacked. Our beers were practically full, but it was obvious that we had sipped from them. Somebody stole our used beer. I didn’t even know that people could stoop that low. That’s like somebody siphoning your gas in your own driveway. You feel used, violated, and scared to trust anyone ever again. Beer theft happens. Be aware.

Critically Rated at 1/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Coasters

If you have a cold glass and a wood table you need a coaster. Coasters protect the wood from the condensation on the glass. Nobody wants to be the jerk who leaves a water stain, so use a coaster whenever possible. Some coasters are made of sandstone, some are ceramic, some are made of cork, and the cheaper ones you find at bars and restaurants are typically cardboard advertisements for beer companies. The cardboard ones make great ninja stars. If you’ve ever been to a Chili’s or Chevys on a slow night, chances are that the servers are throwing them at each other behind the scenes. That’s why it’s taking so long for your refill. Coasters are classy. They are like saucers for your booze.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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