Tag Archives: coffee

Lay’s Cappuccino Potato Chips

You might have noticed the surge of oddly flavored potato chips hitting the market the past year or so. Sriracha. Chicken & Waffles. Wasabi Ginger. And Cappuccino. Yes, Cappuccino. Potato chips that taste like cappuccino. I saw them and I had to buy them. Because they are fucking potato chips that taste like cappuccino. I bought the bag, took it home, opened it up, and took a whiff. It smells like coffee. Salty coffee with a hint of stale milk. I was slightly worried, but I still picked up a chip. I studied it before I popped it into my mouth. It looked like a chip covered with instant coffee powder. Then I popped it into my mouth. It tasted like a chip covered with instant coffee powder. None of the flavors really mesh well, and they all cancel each other out. It’s a crunchy texture with a bland sweetness and a hint of coffee. I wouldn’t say that it’s salty but you can still taste salt, it’s just lost in the flavor confusion. There’s a touch of cinnamon, but it’s barely detectable. Lay’s Cappuccino Potato Chips look a lot more intimidating than they really are. They aren’t good, they aren’t bad. They are more of a novelty than a snack.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Java Monster Mean Bean

Java Monster Mean Bean is an energy drink infused with coffee. Or maybe it’s coffee infused with an energy drink. All I know for sure is that it wakes me up in the morning, it makes me shake, and I think I’m developing a heart murmur. It tastes like iced coffee with cream and an excessive amount of sugar. There is no way that this beverage is beneficial to your health, but I still can’t stop drinking it. I like it. Not as much as Red Bull or a regular cup of coffee, but it’s a nice way to mix things up in the morning. I’m not a big fan of Monster energy drinks, but this one is enjoyable. It’s not as good as a Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso, but it gets the job done.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Excessive Stirring

I was lounging in the break room the other day, trying to relax before my shift started when my coworker came in with a cup of coffee. She sat down right next to me, poured some cream and sugar into her cup, and began to stir. Clink clink clink. She stirred it some more. Clink clink clink clink clink. And she stirred it some more. Clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink. Clink. Clink. Clink clink clink. I glared at her and told her, “I think you got it, you can stop now.” She slowly looked at me and gave it another clink out of spite. I had to bite my lip to keep from slapping her. It was perfectly fine and evenly mixed after the first stir. There was no need for a second round of stirring, and definitely no need for a third round. There’s no excuse for excessive stirring. Not now and not ever.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Black Coffee

Black coffee is the term for a regular cup of joe. No sugar, no cream, just plain coffee. Cream and sugar makes the coffee more drinkable, but it also makes it so you can’t taste the nuances in the flavor profile. Black coffee is how coffee is supposed to taste. It’s the real deal, the way that coffee’s been consumed for centuries. It’s how your grandma drank it. It’s how the cowboys drank it. And it’s how you should drink it. You won’t impress anyone by drinking a mocha or a cappuccino, but drinking a black coffee will. Order a black coffee when you’re in a breakfast meeting with your boss and you’ll get that promotion you’ve been gunning for. And if he doesn’t give it to you, you can throw the coffee in his face.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Santa’s Little Helper (beer)

Santa’s Little Helper is a Russian Imperial Stout from the Port Brewing Company. It has a coffee malt aroma like you would expect from a good stout. I also get whiffs of chocolate and dark fruits. It tastes of roasted malts, chocolate, wood, coffee, espresso, and bitter hops. It is very rich and flavorful, a very robust malty beverage. It’s also pretty strong with an alcohol content of 10%. This is the kind of beer that you go out of your way to get. Hell, it’s the kind of beer that you Instagram before you drink. Plus it has a cool name that doubles as a reference to The Simpsons. You know who likes this beer? People with good taste.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Stone Espresso Imperial Russian Stout

Espresso Imperial Russian Stout is a limited release ale from Stone Brewing Co. It’s brewed with real espresso and it tastes like something you could order from the local coffee shop. It has a rich coffee aroma, with a roasted coffee taste with hints of caramel and bittersweet dark chocolate. The espresso really comes out in the aftertaste and lingers on your taste buds longer than the other flavors. It’s a very smooth and solid stout, and it’s very drinkable for a beer with such a high alcohol content. 11% alcohol by volume is nothing to scoff at, and a pint is enough to make you feel sleepy. This isn’t a beer that you drink at a party. This is a beer that you drink when you’re staying in and catching up on TV shows. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, like you’re bundled up in a blanket made of beer and happiness. Stone Brewing has a reputation for quality craft beers, and Espresso Imperial Stout is one of the reasons why.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Starbucks Coffee + Milk Iced Coffee

Did you know that Starbucks makes bottles of iced coffee? Not Frappuccinos, I’m talking about regular coffee served cold and lightly sweetened. I tried the Coffee + Milk flavor and it tastes like coffee and milk. It tastes like what it’s called. My biggest complaint is that it’s not really iced coffee because there is no ice in it. And I doubt that they actually make it with ice. It’s not really iced coffee unless it had ice in it at some point. It really should be called Starbucks Chilled Coffee + Milk. All in all it’s pretty good, but if I want Starbucks products from the store I would stick with a Frappuccino or a Double Shot Espresso.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is Jerry Seinfeld’s internet show about comedians in cars getting coffee. A typical episode is 10-15 minutes long, but some episodes run longer. Each episode has Jerry picking up one of his comedian friends in a cool car and going out to a restaurant or to a coffee house. The cars are as diverse as a 1960 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud II to a 1952 Volkswagen Beetle. His guests have included legends like Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner to more contemporary comedians like Sarah Silverman and Ricky Gervais. It’s a very casual and unscripted show. Jerry and his guest banter back and forth, talking about comedy and sharing stories and anecdotes. You get to catch glimpses of their real personalities as opposed to their stage personas. It reminds you of hanging out with your friends, except for the fact that Jerry is much funnier than you and he knows it. It’s not Seinfeld, but it’s still worth checking out. Go to Crackle.com and see what all the fuss is about.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso

You’re feeling drained and need a quick pick-me-up but you don’t know if you want coffee or an energy drink. That’s when you need to get a Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso. It’s espresso and cream in a small 6.5 oz. can. It’s a lot more bitter than a Frappuccino, but the cream helps smooth out the flavor. It has more caffeine than Red Bull. The small can of Red Bull has 80mg of caffeine and a Doubleshot Espresso has 130mg of caffeine. One is usually enough to give you the jitters for a few hours. Starbucks is kind of an obscure brand, but I have the feeling that they are going to blow up soon.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Coffee Table

A coffee table is a type of table typically found in the living room in front of the couch. It’s the ideal place to put your coffee while you’re sitting down. It was designed with coffee in mind, but it works surprisingly well with other beverages too. In England they are known as tea tables (I don’t actually have the facts to back that up, I’m just assuming that’s the case). Most people leave books and magazines out on the coffee table for people to thumb through when there’s a lull in the conversation. There’s even a whole subcategory of books known as coffee table books. They are usually hardcover books with lots of pretty pictures and minimal text. Coffee tables are where you keep beverage coasters and in a perfect world it’s also where the TV remote lives. I can’t imagine a world without coffee tables… sitting on your ass at home would be slightly more inconvenient.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout

Cappuccino Stout is another limited release from California’s Lagunitas Brewing Co. A good stout usually has hints of coffee and they brew this ale with real coffee. So it tastes like real coffee. And it also has an alcoholic content of 9.2%. That’s stronger than anything that you’ll find at Starbucks. This isn’t the type of beer that you play beer pong with. A stout is something that you sip and enjoy. And Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout is enjoyable and classy and makes you look sophisticated.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Youn

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Starbucks Frappuccino Bottles

Apparently having a Starbucks on every street corner in the world isn’t enough, so Starbucks decided to start bottling their products to stick on store shelves too. Starbucks Frappuccino is a chilled coffee drink that comes in a few flavors like Coffee, Vanilla, and Mocha. The Coffee one tastes like coffee, the Vanilla one tastes like coffee and vanilla, and the Mocha one tastes like coffee and chocolate. But remember that it’s Starbucks, so it’s gourmet coffee. That means it tastes good and is overpriced.

If you are somewhere in the world without a Starbucks, you can still take Starbucks with you. And isn’t that what you always wanted? More Starbuckseses?

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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