Tag Archives: liquor store

Forty Dollar Twelve Pack

I was hanging out with some friends the other night and the beer supply was dwindling. We had about fifteen minutes to run down to the liquor store to grab some more beer before they had to stop selling alcohol. We got to the store with about three minutes to spare before they closed. We quickly decided on a twelve pack of Heineken, and I brought it up to the cashier to pay. He took a look at my box of beer and charged me $39.99 for it. As in forty fucking bucks for a fucking twelve pack of shitty pseudo-imported beer. Fourteen dollars I can understand, but forty dollars for a twelve pack is pretty extreme. I wish I could say that I left the beer on the counter and told the cashier to go fuck himself, but instead I bit my tongue and accepted the fact that I was being scammed. That’s an extreme case of outrageous overpricing, but your options are pretty limited that late into the night. We returned to the party and announced that we bought forty bucks worth of beer and everyone cheered. Then they got one beer. Then they were sad and still thirsty. I suppose it’s better than nothing, but I will never get myself into that situation again.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks

A Rude Cashier

There’s a little liquor store a few blocks from my house that’s located directly across the street from my laundromat. I go in there for beer, snacks, and lotto tickets. It’s slightly overpriced, but it’s convenient so I go there a lot. It’s a mom and pop place, privately owned and not at all fancy. But the guy that owns it is a dick. I hate when he’s running the register because he’s always playing games on his phone or laptop, and he’ll ignore me until he finishes his round. He won’t look up from his game or even bother to grunt a greeting. I go into his store a few times a week, I’ve spent thousands of dollars there over the past few years, and I know that he recognizes me because he doesn’t card me when I buy booze. But he still ignores me whenever I try to pay. This place is too convenient for me to stop going to it. So I came up with a new technique for dealing with him: I place my items on the counter and slowly count to thirty. If he hasn’t started ringing them up within thirty seconds, I will leave them on the counter and walk out. If he doesn’t want my business, he won’t get my business, and now he has to put my shit away. It might seem a little harsh, but I think it’s perfectly called for. Thirty seconds is a long time. The next time someone says hi to you, ignore them for thirty seconds before you suddenly acknowledge their existence, and notice how long and uncomfortable that silence is. Sometimes the only way to deal with a rude cashier is to be an asshole yourself.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Lagunitas Maximus

The Lagunitas Brewing Company is known for their IPA. Their Maximus India Pale Ale has more alcohol and is hoppier. Wikipedia says it has a spicy finish with a lot of rose petal. Maybe my palate isn’t sophisticated because I don’t taste the rose petal. I think Wikipedia is lying. Anyway, 8.2% alcohol is pretty decent; it can definitely make you sleepy. Lagunitas is a great microbrewery. If you ever see it at the liquor store you should grab it. And read the label; they usually have a funny and random rant printed on it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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Filed under Drinks