Monthly Archives: June 2019

Sneeze Emphasizer

There’s a guy that I worked with that I really respected. He seemed very professional yet personal. Friendly personality, responsible, reliable, smart but not arrogant… basically a coworker you actually want to work with. I respected him because I thought he was well kept and had everything together. And then I heard him sneeze and realized the sad truth. He is a sneeze emphasizer.

He can’t just sneeze. He has to vocalize it and draw attention to himself. He makes a weird sound when he inhales to preface the sneeze and signal it’s arrival. Then the sneeze itself is accompanied with an actual achoo. He uses his vocal chords and there’s a verbal achoo. He’s not saying “Achoo!” He’s actively amplifying the sound to be as loud as possible.

It’s physical. He uses his full body. He leans back, flails his arms, and whips his head forward as he sneezes. He’ll pause for a second or two to see if he can get a “Bless you!” or “Gesundheit!” and sneeze again and again until he gets one. It’s not allergies. It’s attention.

I can’t respect myself if I respect a sneeze emphasizer. I don’t need that type of negativity in my life.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Taco Bell Cantina

I had some time to kill after work one day last week and I decided to explore the area. I came across a Taco Bell Cantina and decided to give it a shot. Taco Bell Cantina is like a fancy Taco Bell. They have the standard Taco Bell menu items, but they also have shareable meal baskets and alcohol. There’s no hard liquor but there’s beer, wine, and sangria. Alcohol is alcohol, and alcohol definitely makes Taco Bell better.

The layout of Taco Bell Cantinas are also a little different. They don’t have drive-through so you have to walk in to order. Flat screen TVs line the walls playing sports. There are big communal tables so you sometimes have to sit next to a stranger but it makes the restaurant feel more open and inviting. It definitely has a cooler vibe than your standard Taco Bell.

That being said, a Taco Bell Cantina is basically a Taco Bell that sells booze. That makes it better for me. The food isn’t any better. But I like beer and I like the fact that I can get a beer with my meal in lieu of Pepsi. Would I go back? Yeah, probably. But I’m not making it a priority.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Snacks