Tag Archives: cocktail

Jason Moore

Let me preface this story by reminding everyone that I’ve been in the service industry for more than fourteen years. I’ve heard a lot of interesting requests. A few days ago I had a customer ask me for drink I’ve never heard of before. She asked me for a glass that was half Sprite and half lemonade. She apologized for not remembering the name of the drink. I told her I don’t think there is a name for it. She insisted that there was.

We mentioned the usual suspects. Arnold Palmer: half iced tea, half lemonade. Shirley Temple: Sprite with grenadine. Roy Rogers: Coke with grenadine. John Daly: an Arnold Palmer with vodka. It wasn’t any of those. I went ahead and made her the half Sprite half lemonade and dropped it off. Then I pulled out my phone and googled “Half Sprite half lemonade” because curiosity is a bitch.

I scrolled down for a bit until I found a single post with that recipe. It said that a half Sprite half lemonade was known as a Jason Moore and that the name originated in Arizona. The post had zero votes and zero credibility. But I mentioned the name to her and she said it was right.

I asked all my other coworkers if they have ever heard of a Jason Moore. Nobody had any idea what I was talking about. I asked a few coworkers at my other restaurant if they had heard of it. They were also blissfully unaware of Jason Moores.

I did more research and saw that it’s a known drink on UrbanDictionary.com and it only has one post describing it. It was posted in September of 2016 and it only has four likes and one dislike. The one dislike was from me, so there really isn’t much online presence for this so-called mocktail. I’m contributing to its online presence with this blog post right now.

I never knew about the Jason Moore drink. I don’t know who it’s named after. Well, it’s obviously named after Jason Moore… but who the fuck is Jason Moore? Anyone in Arizona have any ideas? Is he the mayor of a small town? Maybe a bored bartender with one moderately successful creation? The world demands answers.

By the way, I made my own Jason Moore to see what all the fuss is about. It’s meh. I’d rather have an Arnold Palmer. Who am I kidding? Make it a John Daly.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Moscow Mule

I normally drink beer but I’ve been drinking a lot of vodka lately. I’ve mostly been making Moscow Mules. It’s a simple drink. Vodka, lime juice, spicy ginger beer, and ice. It’s crisp and refreshing, and it gets you drunk without much of a hangover the next day (provided you use a decent vodka). There are a few recipes out there but mine’s been working for me. I’ll pour two ounces of vodka into a twelve ounce glass (copper mugs are ideal, but I don’t have any on hand). I’ll squeeze and drop in three lime wedges, add ice, and top with ginger beer. Give it a quick stir, then sip and enjoy. Add more vodka as needed. But the trick lies with the ginger beer. Ginger beer is harder to find than ginger ale, but it adds spice and zing and is worth searching for. Reed’s, Bundaberg, and Gosling’s all make great ginger beer. The lime is also a key ingredient and often overlooked. Most recipes say to use lime juice. I think it’s important to use an actual lime. Squeeze that shit and drop it in. Let the lime rind release its oils and flavors into the cocktail. Enjoy the zest. Thank me later.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Bloody Mary

A Bloody Mary is a popular cocktail. It’s vodka with tomato juice and spices and other flavors. It typically includes salt, pepper, lemon or lime juice, Worcestershire, and some sort of hot sauce like Tabasco or Red Hot. It’s often elaborately garnished with a lime wedge, olives, celery, maybe a pickle or onion, and it’s increasingly common to serve it with bacon, beef jerky, or some other smoked/salted hunk of meat. It’s one of those drinks that you grow to love. You probably don’t like your first sip of a Bloody Mary, but the taste grows on you. It cures hangovers and helps start new ones. A good Bloody Mary always starts with a good Bloody Mary mix. You don’t want anything that comes readymade from a bottle. You want to make it fresh. A good bartender takes pride in their cocktails and a Bloody Mary is one of the most complex drinks you can order. If it’s good, the bartender is too. As Vanilla Ice once said, “anything less than the best is a felony.”

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ordering a Cocktail But Not Knowing What’s In It

The vast majority of people in a bar order basic cocktails like margaritas, martinis, Long Islands, etc. But there is always some asshole that orders a drink that nobody has ever heard of before. Ordering a cocktail but not knowing what’s in it is a great way to piss off your bartender. There are hundreds if not thousands of cocktail names and recipes, so you should be prepared to help out your bartender if you order something obscure like a Skittle shot or a Vampire Juice or something. You should know more about the drink than just its name. You should know what liquors are in it, you should know what mixers to use, and you should know if it’s a shot or something you sip on. A lot of people will order a stupid drink because it sounds cool, but they don’t have the slightest idea what is in it. And that’s fucking retarded. You shouldn’t order something if you don’t know what’s in it. That’s just plain common sense.

Critically Rated at /17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ordering a Frozen Drink and Complaining That You Can’t Taste the Alcohol

One of the biggest pet peeves for anybody in the service industry is when somebody orders a frozen drink and then complains that they can’t taste the alcohol. No shit you can’t taste it, you just ordered a fucking frozen drink. The colder the drink, the less you can taste the alcohol. Blending booze and ice and sweet mixers is going to make your cocktail taste like a smoothie. It’s a waste of liquor. That’s why most places serve margaritas on the rocks as opposed to blended. There’s no point in getting a savory tequila if you’re not going to savor it. You want to be able to taste the liquor. Sometimes it’s really hot and you feel like a piña colada or strawberry daiquiri. That’s totally acceptable; just don’t complain to the bartender if you think it’s a virgin drink. It’s not. So shut up about it.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Neglected Drinks

If you’re a bartender or if you’ve ever hosted a party, you know all about neglected drinks. Neglected drinks are beers or cocktails that have been abandoned, either accidently or intentionally. Some are just a few swigs away from being finished, some of them have a few sips taken out of them, and some of them haven’t even been touched at all (which is the biggest crime of all). Alcohol is precious. It takes a lot of time to brew a beer or distill a spirit. So don’t waste it. If you don’t like it, give it to your drunk friend who will drink anything. You don’t need to set it down somewhere and pretend to forget about it. And if you’re already wasted, practice some self-control and stop ordering drinks if you can’t handle any more liquor. Neglected drinks need to stop. There are sober kids in China.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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