Tag Archives: sober

February 15, 2020 · 4:26 pm

Dry February 2020

Last February I decided to forgo alcohol. Why? Because it’s the shortest month of course. Just four quick weeks and it’s over. Dry February 2019 was a rousing success and I decided to do a dry February for 2020. I had an exception: I would drink if the 49ers won the Super Bowl, and if they lost I would drink on the 29th because it’s a Leap Day and those are worth celebrating. Well the 49ers lost, so I’m eagerly awaiting the 29th to get back off the wagon. I think that’s how it goes… you’re off the wagon if you’re drinking and you’re on the wagon if you aren’t drinking. Right? I don’t know much about wagons.

Anyway, today is February 15th so I’m already past the halfway point. So far so good. I’m pretty much in the clear. The first two nights are the worst. I had major insomnia and sleep was hard to get. I mostly tossed and turned. I wouldn’t have survived if I didn’t have some good indica. Hey, I said a dry February, not a sober February. Get over it.

Not drinking gives me a lot more time in the day. I’ve mostly used it by catching up on Netflix, Disney+, and HBO. Not very productive of me, but it passes the time. The weather has been hit or miss, but I’ll take the dogs to the beach and the park when I can. I’ve been avoiding bars and parties which definitely helps eliminate temptation and saves me money. I went to the Heat vs Warriors game at the new Chase Center in downtown San Francisco. I didn’t get any beer but still managed to spend forty-five bucks on food and soda. The game was a blowout and the Warriors got crushed but it was still a fun night.

With two weeks down and less than two weeks remaining, I’m looking forward to March and my triumphant return to the wonderful world of booze. But I don’t plan on indulging as much as I did before. I’ll probably copy my friend’s approach to moderation. She gives herself three days of drinking then takes three days off. That sounds like the perfect balance to me. And if I stick to that plan there won’t be a need for Dry February 2021.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 21, 2019 · 4:50 pm

Dry February

I decided to take a short break from drinking. It’s been a dry February. There’s not a real reason for me doing it. I just felt like it and February is the shortest month so it seemed like the perfect time. Four short weeks, a mere twenty-eight days… totally doable.

The first night was the worst. It always is. I planned ahead though. I was stocked up on nonalcoholic beer and some indica pods for my vape. My sleep was mostly restless with weird dreams but I made it through. I noticed I had more energy in the morning after the first three days. I still needed coffee to really get going. One of the biggest obstacles to overcome was the Super Bowl. Luckily the game was so mind numbingly terrible that I didn’t need alcohol.

It’s the twenty-first today so I only have a week to go. I’m not going to lie, I’m looking forward to ending my self imposed sobriety. It’s nice being clearheaded and all, but the sheer boredom is starting to get to me. I’ve done a lot of Netflixing, reading, and a bit of writing in my spare time, but those are all tasks that go better with a beer in my opinion. Ultimately I’ve realized I don’t need alcohol but I really like it and would like to continue having it as a part of my life. In moderation of course. Everything in moderation.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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May 12, 2018 · 9:38 pm

O’Douls

I’ve been drinking a lot lately and my girlfriend was kind enough to point it out, so I told her I would put down the bottle for a few days. Yesterday was the first day of my temporary sobriety. All I could think about was how nice it would be to go to the bar and watch the baseball game after work, but then I remembered I wasn’t drinking. But then I remembered that non-alcoholic beer is a thing. So I went to the bar and ordered an O’Doul’s with a chilled glass.

The bartender came back with an O’Doul’s Amber. I didn’t even know they had an amber, I’ve only seen the one in the green bottles. I poured the beer into my glass and admired its reddish hue and slightly hoppy aroma. It looked like beer. I took a sip. It tasted like an amber, a little rich and sweet with a slight hoppy finish. It had good mouthfeel. I sat there watching the game and making small talk with the other barflies and it felt like any other day at the bar. I just wasn’t getting drunk.

I had one more O’Doul’s Amber before I left the bar. The evening was still young so I got a six pack of the original O’Doul’s on the way home. The regular O’Doul’s is more like a lager. It’s mild with a slightly dry finish. I normally drink IPAs so it tastes very bland to me, but I still felt like I was drinking beer.

O’Doul’s is not fully free from alcohol. It’s less than .5% alcohol by volume. Kombucha is anywhere from .5% to 2% for comparison. They brew O’Doul’s like a regular beer and then they distill the alcohol out without heating or cooking the beer. That helps to retain the flavor profile. It’s not perfect. It’s like eating meatless chicken. It’s almost like the real deal but something is missing. It’s still a good way to wean yourself off alcohol. I say that as I’m currently enjoying my second six pack in two days. It definitely helps keep me distracted from real beer and my typical morning hangover.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 25, 2015 · 8:35 pm

Sober as a Button

I have a friend who recently got fired from his job at a restaurant. He got the boot because he showed up to work extremely hungover and still slightly drunk. He looked like shit, felt like shit, and the managers asked him to go home. They called him an hour later and told him that he wasn’t welcome back. It’s kind of bullshit because practically everyone in the restaurant industry has worked drunk at one time or another, but that’s besides the point. Well, I’m not sure I have a point really. I was only trying to tell you all an anecdote. I’m going to get back to that now.

So anyway, later on that day a bunch of us were at the bar celebrating Saturday night and my friend joined us. He was telling us his side of the story, downplaying how intoxicated he really was. Someone asked him if he was still drunk when he showed up to work. “No,” he said, “I was sober as a button.”

We all smirked, laughed, and did a double-take. I told him that I was pretty sure he just made up that expression. He was adamant that it was an actual expression. We Googled it. It’s not. Well, some people have said it in the past, but the majority of the internet doesn’t accept it as a real idiom. You can be cute as a button or sober as a judge, but you can’t be sober as a button. Then my friend reminded me that buttons don’t drink. Fuck, he’s right about that. We ended up agreeing that it wasn’t a valid expression but you could still be technically sober as a button.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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May 6, 2013 · 10:29 am

Drunk Me

Drunk Me is kind of a jerk. Not to other people but to his sober counterpart. Drunk Me doesn’t seem to respect Sober Me much at all. Drunk Me likes to spend a lot of money on beer and cabs because he thinks it’s hilarious when Sober Me wakes up without any money to go out for breakfast. Drunk Me has a habit of leaving my keys or wallet in some ridiculously obscure spot, like in a to-go box in the fridge so that Sober Me can embark on a frantic scavenger hunt. Drunk Me also likes to open a new beer, take a few sips, and then put it down somewhere and forget about it, so that Sober Me has something else to deal with. Drunk Me likes to forget to set an alarm or neglects to charge my phone so that I’m stressed out and scrambling around in the morning. Drunk Me only cares about himself and the moment. He does whatever he wants to because he knows that Sober Me will be the one to face the consequences. Drunk Me has fun, Sober Me has responsibilities. Guess which one I prefer to be.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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April 22, 2013 · 10:25 am

Drinking With Someone Who Doesn’t Drink

I went out to the baseball game the other day. It was my first game of the season and I was meeting up with an old friend. Our pact was simple: You buy the tickets and I’ll buy the beer. Naturally I was going to get inebriated. Gameday rolls around and we meet up at the stadium. I buy the first round, and I finish my beer before he’s even halfway done. So I bought another beer and finished it as he finished his first. I offered to buy another round and he said no. So I bought another beer for myself mostly because we had to kill time before first pitch. It was a hot day too, and I don’t need much of an excuse to crack a brew. It took until my fourth beer to realize that I was drinking with someone who doesn’t drink. I suddenly felt sloppy and like an alcoholic. But then I looked and noticed that the line for Budweiser was longer than the line for hot dogs and realized that he was the weird one, not me. Props for having restraint and self-control, but I’d prefer a few bottles of suds over soda any day of the week. Drinking with someone who doesn’t drink is ok as long as they don’t judge you and as long as you don’t judge them. It’s like eating a burger in front of a vegetarian; you don’t talk about how amazing it is because they don’t want to hear about it.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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June 16, 2012 · 8:55 am

Being More Sober Than Your Designated Driver

People like to drink. People like to pretend that they are responsible. Sometimes they will designate a designated driver, sometimes someone will volunteer to be the designated driver.  It is hard to be in a public situation with tons of drunk people and refrain from having a few drinks. It’s understandable if the designated driver has a few, so long as they don’t get too drunk. But sometimes they do. Sometimes you end up being more sober than you designated driver. All you can do is suck it up and buckle your seatbelt and be glad you’re not in the driver’s seat. If he crashes, it’s his fault, I just wanted a ride.

Critically Rated at 4/17

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