Monthly Archives: January 2016

Marvel’s Jessica Jones

I’m a little late to the game, but I finally finished the first season of Jessica Jones on Netflix. Jessica Jones is one of the minor superheroes in the Marvel Universe. She’s appeared in a bunch of comics but she’s never been as mainstream as Spider-Man, Hulk, Iron Man, etc. But now she has her own show, so Girl Power! and all that. Krysten Ritter stars as the titular character. She’s a washed-up superhero that currently works as a private detective. She ends up taking a case that becomes personal and her traumatic past comes back to haunt her. That sounds like a stereotypical film noir plot, but remember this is the Marvel Universe and crazy shit happens.

If you liked Daredevil, you should watch Jessica Jones. They take place in the same timeline, alongside the future Netflix shows Luke Cage and Iron Fist. Eventually all four heroes will team up in The Defenders, the Netflix equivalent of The Avengers. It’s going to be epic. Luke Cage is a character in Jessica Jones and he’s a badass. I can’t wait to see what his own show will be like.

Jessica Jones is slower paced than Daredevil. It kind of creeps along and I had to force myself to get past the first three episodes. There’s a lot of character development and not as much action as hoped. Then the plot kicks in and you start to see what they are trying to do. I think it’s more aimed towards women. I’m not trying to give much away, but the main villain stalks, torments, manipulates, and controls Jessica Jones. She has to fight for her right to be her own person. It’s about abusive relationships as much as it’s about fighting evil with superpowers.

The supporting cast is pretty solid, but David Tennant deserves the most praise for his portrayal of Kilgrave, the main antagonist. I really don’t want to spoil anything here, but I am so don’t read what I’m about to say if you plan on watching the show. Ok, ready? Here it is! SPOILER: he can control minds. He can make people do whatever he wants so he can do a lot of damage. David Tennant can make you sympathize with him, and make you believe that he’s not really evil. It seems like an oxymoron, but he’s a good villain, and you can’t have a good superhero without a good villain.

Marvel’s Jessica Jones isn’t my favorite show. But I would recommend it. That’s what I’m doing now. You would probably like it if you like superhero detective stories and strong female characters. It’s dark and gritty and realistic despite characters with superpowers. It’s worth binge watching.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed By Brendan H. Young

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Off on Sundays

I work at a restaurant. I don’t work on Sundays. That’s rare. I’ll repeat that. I’m off on Sundays. Like that’s not supposed to happen. Set schedules aren’t common in the industry. Days off and clock in times fluctuate. Sometimes we work doubles. Sometimes it’s slow and people get cut early. Sometimes it’s busy and everyone works overtime. We always have to check the schedule to know when we are working. So having Sundays off is a miracle. I always know that I have a day to sleep in. It gives me a chance to catch up on laundry. I can make plans for brunch. I don’t have to worry about missing the Super Bowl. It also gives me the option of picking up a shift on a Sunday. That’s always a mistake. It reminds me why I requested Sundays off to begin with. Being off on Sunday is glorious. Normal people have Sundays off. It almost makes me feel normal too. Almost.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Comebacks

I am a dude and dudes have a tendency to communicate with insults and putdowns. We try to belittle and embarrass each other in order to impress each other. It’s not bullying, it’s bonding. When somebody makes fun of you, that’s an open window for you to make fun of them back. It’s important to have a couple of comebacks in your arsenal. If someone talks shit about your shoes, you should say that it was all their mom could afford. If they make fun of your hairstyle, you should say that it’s how their mom likes it. Those are witty comebacks. And remember, you can always replace their mom with another family member. Mixing it up keeps your comebacks fresh.

Lazy comebacks are the worst. Those are when you repeat back their insult with a slight twist. You’re not going to impress anyone if they say that you’re stupid and you say that they’re dumb. The point of a comeback is to regain the respect your opponent just stole from you. If you can’t say anything clever, than shut the fuck up and accept defeat. It’s better in the long run.

Sometimes comebacks don’t even have to be targeted at the other person. You can a self-deprecating comeback. Insulting yourself more than they insulted you can be just as effective as insulting them. If they call you ugly, tell them you’re aware of the situation and that’s why you don’t take selfies. You’ll get a bigger laugh than they did and they won’t have a good response. They will be lazy if they continue to call you ugly and they can’t switch to a different insult. The self-deprecating comeback is a great defense, but you have to be cautious when insulting yourself. Don’t say that you wet the bed or anything like that.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Lounging Under a Tree

Call me a hippie, but I like nature. I like being outside. One of my favorite things to do on days off is hanging out in Golden Gate Park with a couple of friends and a couple of brews. We will post up under a tree, throw a blanket on the ground, put on some music, and hang out until we feel like moving on. I’ll lie on my back and watch the sunlight filter through the leaves and the clouds move across the sky. I’ll track leaves as they fall from the branch and gently float towards the grass. I’ll sit up every once in a while to sip my beer without it dribbling down my chin. I’m not opposed to puffing the green stuff either. It makes lounging under a tree even more chill. You’re missing out if you’ve never hung out under a tree. It’s one of the easiest things to cross off your bucket list. All you have to is find a tree and hang out under it. If you can’t find satisfaction in that, you’re not a person I want to know.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Live Photos

So I recently upgraded to the iPhone 6s from an iPhone 4 and I’m still finding out some of the amazing things my phone can do. One of the coolest features on the new iPhone is Live Photos. Each picture is like a little movie. When you take a picture, it also records the moments before and after you took it. When you press down on the photo, it comes to life. It’s fricking rad, like some Harry Potter shit. It’s magic. You’ll see you and your friend settling into the perfect pose for a selfie. You’ll see dogs wagging their tails and running around. You’ll see babies laughing and drunk friends stumbling. You’ll see waterfalls falling and waves crashing and birds moving across the sky. There’s sound and everything. It’s like you’re right back there experiencing it again. Technology. It blows my mind sometimes.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Secret Talent

It’s funny how you can know a person for years and think you know everything about them. And then one day they reveal a secret talent that you never knew they had. It’s kind of like finding out that you were friends with a superhero the whole time. A lot of people have a talent or skill that they don’t really talk about. Maybe they are modest, maybe they are a little embarrassed about it, maybe they chose a career instead of chasing a dream, but I feel like most people have a secret talent. I have one friend who doesn’t have a car, but he can take an engine apart and put it back together again. I had no idea he was such an accomplished mechanic. Every now and then I discover that a friend is good at drawing, or painting, or writing poetry, or photography, or has a knack for playing an instrument. It always boggles my mind. If you have talent, you should flaunt it. It shouldn’t be a secret. You should be proud of what you can do. Just don’t be an asshole about it.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Breakthrough Conversation

I went to the bar after work the other day with the sole purpose of killing time to avoid the commute home during rush hour. I walked in and saw one of my coworkers. I’ve known him for a few years but he works in a different department and we’ve only talked about work stuff, weather, movies, and local sports teams. That was probably the first time that I had even seen him out of work. It’s better to drink with somebody than to drink alone, so I pulled up a stool next to him and sat down. We started talking about work stuff, but the conversation eventually turned into a real one.

We talked about our lives. Where we grew up, where we went to school, where we lived before moving to the city. We talked about our childhoods, our families, and what we thought about the world. It was a breakthrough conversation, the kind of talk where a stranger becomes a friend. It’s always cool to get to know someone better. It’s weird, it’s almost like humans need social interaction or something.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Walking Stick

I went on a nine-mile hike with some friends the other day. The trail was relatively easy for the most part, but there were a few difficult parts and it rained the night before so there was a lot of mud. The situation called for a walking stick and nature was happy to provide me with one. I found one on the side of the trail. A walking stick is what it sounds like. It’s a stick for walking. Canes are for old people and the disabled. Walking sticks are for hikers and wizards.

Walking sticks can be used in a variety of ways. They make steep hills easier to climb or descend. They can clear the trail of bushes, debris, spider webs, and tree branches that are blocking the way. They offer a balancing point for crossing small streams or large puddles. They have traction in slippery conditions. And you can use them to fend off attacking animals or disgruntled hikers.

Some people buy walking sticks. That’s good if you go hiking a lot and want other people to know how awesomely outdoorsy you are. I prefer finding a walking stick somewhere along the trail and leaving it on the trailhead for future hikers to enjoy. It seems more neighborly. Walking through nature is fun. It’s better with a giant stick.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Calendar

A calendar is an organizing system to keep track of days. It’s sort of like a roadmap for time. It helps to keep track of days, weeks, months, and years. It allows you to plan things better. Call me old-fashioned, but I have a calendar on the wall. I don’t use the organizer app on my phone. I physically write out my schedule on the wall with a real pen. The goal is to have something written down on each day. If your calendar is full, your life is full. That’s a good philosophy and it’s worked for me so far.

I have the traditional wall calendar that only displays one month at a time. It begins with January and goes all the way to December with a different picture for each month. It’s pretty exciting to flip the page and see the new picture. And if you think that’s exciting, you’ll really love off-the-wall calendars. Those are calendars that go by individual days instead of months. So you’ll get excited three hundred and sixty-five times each year as opposed to only twelve times. Some off-the-wall calendars take advantage of this, specifically the Word of the Day Calendar (which improves your vocabulary drastically/significantly/immensely one day at a time) and the Far Side Off-The-Wall Calendar (which delivers absurd humor daily). Off-the-wall calendars can improve your life if you let them into it.

I don’t have anything else to say about calendars. I think I’ll end the post right around here. Maybe I’ll say one more thing to pad it out. Maybe I won’t. I haven’t decided yet. I think I should. I mean, this paragraph isn’t even about calendars right now. I should have stopped typing already. But I keep on going for some reason. And you keep on reading. Sucker.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Retox

My friend came over the other day to hang out for a few hours. Being the good host that I am, I offered her a beer. She said no and I asked her why. She said it was because she was doing a detox. I was totally supportive of her decision but I still cracked a beer open for myself. Some people choose to detox. Good for them. I choose to retox. It’s more fun. I retox almost every night. It’s what happens when you work in the restaurant industry. You work hard and play harder. Plus there are days when customers bring you down and crush your spirit. A little booze does a lot to revitalize oneself. If you do retox, retox responsibly. Use coasters and try not to spill anything. That’s alcohol abuse.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Discovering a New Band

I’m thirty years old now and I’m set in my ways. I know what I like and I like what I know. So I end up listening to a lot of the bands and artists that I liked in high school and college. But hearing the same things over and over again eventually gets stale and I feel compelled to branch out, to experience new sounds. Discovering a new band you like is a great feeling (new to you, not necessarily a recently formed band). I have a friend who doubles as my concert buddy. It’s a pretty awesome arrangement. She is young and hip and loves music. She finds bands that she thinks I will like, tells me to listen to them, gets me addicted to them, and then tells me that they are playing a show nearby because she knows that I will want to see them live and she has someone to go to the concert with. Diabolical, I know. Discovering a new band is like making a new friend. You instantly like them, feel a connection, and forge a bond. It’s not something you should take for granted. Good things don’t happen all the time, ya know.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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New Phone

I’ve been using the same iPhone 4 since late October of 2010. I’ve had that phone with me every single day of my life for more five years straight. I woke up today and decided to change that. I had the day off so I went downtown to the Apple Store, I walked in, went up to the first employee I saw available, and told him I wanted a Space Gray 64GB iPhone 6s. Flash-forward forty-five minutes and I was walking out the door with a brand new iPhone complete with an Otterbox case for protection. I’ve spent the last few hours syncing it up to my computer and transferring music, photos, movies, and apps while simultaneously doing laundry. It’s a very exciting and productive time to be me right now. It’s 2016. New year, new phone. I’m pretty stoke that I haven’t dropped it yet.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Netflix Music

Yo, Netflix! Where the music at? You have a bunch of movies, documentaries, television shows, and original content. You even have your own version of the Yule Log and New Year’s Eve Countdowns. I think that it’s time you step your game up and start streaming music videos or concert footage. You guys changed the way the world watches TV. It wouldn’t be much too hard for you to change the way we experience music. You could have your own concert series. Hell, you could have your own record label if you wanted to. I think you should. I think it’s a great idea. I’m happy to take credit for it. Just make a check out to me when you guys get on board. Oh, and you’re welcome.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Copasetic

Copacetic is a great word. I think people should use it more. It has a great sound. Say it. Say copacetic. Say it slowly. Co-pa-set-ic. See how nicely it rolls out your mouth? Isn’t that fun? I could say copacetic all day. Not only does it sound good, it has a positive definition. If something is copacetic, it means that it’s completely satisfactory. For instance, copacetic is a copacetic word. It means that everything is good, that you’re perfectly content with it. You want things to be copasetic. Life is a lot harder to deal with when things are going uncopacetically. My spellcheck says that uncopacetically isn’t a real word, but I don’t care. I’m going to make it one. I’m sure it will catch on if I say it enough.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Fake Cracked Screen iPhone Case

I think that I’m going to invest in a fake cracked screen iPhone case. It would be a case to protect your iPhone. The front of the case would make your screen appear like it is cracked. That would help to deter thieves. Thieves don’t like cracked iPhones. There’s little resale value to them. I Googled “fake cracked iPhone case” and only saw a few products that are similar. There’s one fake cracked case that makes the back of the phone look shattered. That’s not good enough. I want the screen to look cracked. There are also a couple of fake cracked screen stickers, but stickers don’t do much to protect your phone. So can somebody please make me a fake cracked screen iPhone case? I know that I’ll never get around to it. It’s up to you to make it happen.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Half-Day

It was slow at work today so I asked to go home early. I don’t like working when there’s nothing to do. My manager had too many people scheduled and was more than happy to cut me from the floor. I clocked out by 1:00 pm instead of 5:30 pm like I was supposed to. I was stoked. I celebrated by getting a burrito. It tasted like freedom. I love half-days. There’s nothing quite like them. Remember how much fun half-days were in high school? You had to sludge through a few classes for a few hours and then it was time for shenanigans. College was all half-days and my liver still hates me for going to a party school.

Half-days are like Fridays. You have to work a little but then you get to play. Unplanned half-days are even better. It’s like the universe wants you to be happy. You can’t take them for granted. You have to do something special to celebrate. You don’t have to get a burrito like I did, but you gotta do something. Half-days don’t happen all the time. Take advantage when they do.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Lotto Fever

 The Powerball jackpot is currently at a record $700,000,000. Let that sink in. Seven hundred million dollars. Even Bill Gates thinks that’s a nice chunk of change. A jackpot that high causes a national pandemic. They call it lotto fever and it’s quite contagious. Even people who don’t normally play the lotto are buying tickets or pooling money with friends or coworkers. How can you not? A couple of bucks could yield you millions more in return. It probably won’t, but somebody’s got to win. And you can’t win if you don’t play. Believe me, I’ve tried. So you might as well buy a ticket. I already bought ten dollars worth of tickets and I’ll probably buy more. Tickets are the only remedy for lotto fever. Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young 

  

 

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