Tag Archives: heineken

Beer on the Rocks

One time I was hanging out with my friend at his mom’s house and he offered me a drink. I never turn down free booze so I gladly accepted his offer. He handed me a warm bottle of Heineken and a glass filled with ice. I had no choice but to crack the brew and pour it into the glass. He got his own beer and glass with ice, we clinked our drinks together, and took a sip. It was crisp, cold, and refreshing. It was beer. Beer on the rocks. I didn’t mind the ice as much as I thought I would. If anything, the ice gave me more incentive to drink faster so it wouldn’t melt and water it down. I don’t think I’ll try it again though. I love cold beer, but ice in the glass isn’t the way to go. The next time I’ll take wrap a wet paper towel around the warm beer and stick it in the freezer for fifteen minutes. That’s the ideal life hack for this situation.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Forty Dollar Twelve Pack

I was hanging out with some friends the other night and the beer supply was dwindling. We had about fifteen minutes to run down to the liquor store to grab some more beer before they had to stop selling alcohol. We got to the store with about three minutes to spare before they closed. We quickly decided on a twelve pack of Heineken, and I brought it up to the cashier to pay. He took a look at my box of beer and charged me $39.99 for it. As in forty fucking bucks for a fucking twelve pack of shitty pseudo-imported beer. Fourteen dollars I can understand, but forty dollars for a twelve pack is pretty extreme. I wish I could say that I left the beer on the counter and told the cashier to go fuck himself, but instead I bit my tongue and accepted the fact that I was being scammed. That’s an extreme case of outrageous overpricing, but your options are pretty limited that late into the night. We returned to the party and announced that we bought forty bucks worth of beer and everyone cheered. Then they got one beer. Then they were sad and still thirsty. I suppose it’s better than nothing, but I will never get myself into that situation again.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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