Tag Archives: bottle

Half Frozen Bottle of Water 

 I’m a big fan of ice cold water. It’s refreshing and invigorating and thirst quenching. I found a pretty useful life hack online a few months ago that allows me to have ice cold water whenever I want it. All you have to do is take a used bottle of water, fill it half way, lay it sideways in the freezer, and leave it alone for a few hours. Once the water is frozen, you open the bottle and fill it up the rest of the way. If you do it right, there will be ice on one side and water on the other. The ice makes the water cold instantly and keeps it chilled for hours. No muss, no fuss. I keep a half frozen bottle of water in the freezer at all times. It’s a cheap and easy way to impress thirsty guests when they come over. They think I’m smart and clever for coming up with it. I don’t tell them that I stole the idea from the internet. It’s not lying. It’s deceiving. There’s a difference.
  

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young 

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Water Bottle Cap

I have a couple of canteens that I use for camping, hiking, and when I hang out at the beach or park. It’s essential to stay hydrated and keeping water handy is a great idea whilst doing outdoor activities. I went to a friend’s birthday party in Golden Gate Park a few weeks ago and brought along my trusty canteens and a shit ton of beer. A few hours later the party was wrapping up and it was time to clean up and go. We gathered all our belongings, got all the trash, rolled our blankets, and glanced over our spot for anything left behind. The only thing that was missing was the cap to one of my canteens. A canteen is practically useless without its cap. I searched for the cap for a couple of minutes before I called it a loss and left with everyone else. I was tempted to throw away my canteen but I held on to it for some reason. Maybe it was hope. I’m glad that I didn’t toss it because it turned up a few days later. One of my friends accidently pocketed it that night and she found it when she put on her jacket again. She handed it back to me with a sheepish smile and a half-hearted apology. I was actually pretty impressed. I don’t know how she remembered that I was missing a water bottle cap. I guess she’s a good friend.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

canteen-cap

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Spray Bottle

A spray bottle is a bottle that sprays liquids. They are also commonly called squirt bottles. They do more than just pray and squirt. They also mist. You see spray bottles all over the place. They dispense Febreze and Windex and other household chemicals. They help you style your hair. They keep you cool on a hot day. They keep cats and dogs in line with a single spritz of water. They are great makeshift squirt guns when spontaneous water fights break out. I could live without spray bottles. I just don’t want to.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Squirt Bottle

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Rogue Sriracha Hot Stout Beer

Oregon’s Rogue Ales & Spirits presents Sriracha Hot Stout Beer. It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a stout brewed with Huy Fong Sriracha. They went all out on this beer. It looks like the iconic Huy Fong Sriracha bottle. It’s red, it has the rooster on it, and it even has a green bottle cap with its own little rooster. I spotted it while I was celebrating Beer Week at Rogue Ales Public House in San Francisco last night. The couple at the table next to me had it and I knew that I had to get it right away. I ordered a bottle for the table and we all went on a trip to flavor country. The aroma is of garlic, Sriracha, and chili peppers. It has hints of chocolate, roast coffee beans, maybe a little smoke, but the Sriracha flavor steals the show. It’s subtle at first and then the spiciness starts to sneak in, intensifying with each sip, just like Sriracha does. It lingers better than any other hot sauce. It’s good. I could drink a whole bottle, but I wouldn’t do two in a row. It’s a beer worth trying, so definitely grab it if you ever get the chance. It’s a cool beer and one that I will remember for a long time. I even kept the empty bottle (along with the cap) as a keepsake. It will look nice on my shelf and it’s a guaranteed conversation starter.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

rogue_sriracha_stout__40752.1417218310.1280.1280

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Wine Key

A wine key is a corkscrew used to open wine. It is sometimes called a waiter’s friend or a sommelier knife. It’s similar in design to a pocketknife and feature a folding corkscrew and a small blade for cutting the foil around the top of the bottle. There are better corkscrews out there, but wine keys are the most practical, transportable, and handy. Any decent waiter, bartender, Frenchman, or alcoholic has one. Everybody should have one really, especially if you drink wine. You don’t want to be stuck drinking Franzia forever.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Ikea-Groggy-Stainless-Steel-Cockscrew-with-Bottle-opener-and-foil-cutter-Wine-Key-Waiters-Friend-400.180.17

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Cracking a Beer

Cracking a beer is something that should be taken seriously. Opening a bottle of beer is a commitment. You’re investing time and money into another round. It’s not something that you should be taking lightly. There’s no going back once you’ve opened a beer. You either have to drink it or waste it, and it’s practically illegal to waste beer. There’s not a law against it, but there should be. Don’t crack open a beer if you can’t drink it. It’s as simple as that. Or give it to me if you can’t finish it. And yes, this post was inspired by a beer that I cracked open at 1:47 a.m. last night. I regret nothing.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

open-beer-bottle-400x400

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Buying Cans of Beer at the Bar

I was at the bar the other day and couldn’t help but notice when a bunch of bros walked in and ordered six cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. I’m not a big fan of PBR but I don’t shit on it, but I still couldn’t figure out why you would go to a bar and essentially order a six pack of a cheap domestic that you can get at the store for a quarter of the cost. In fact I don’t know why anybody would buy cans of beer at a bar. Get something on tap or at least get a bottle of something decent. Live a little. Canned domestics have no place in a decent bar. I can’t respect you if you order a can of Budweiser from a bartender. The bartender won’t respect you either.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

PBR CAN_full

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Telescoping Your Beer

You’re chilling at a barbeque, sipping on a beer, and you notice that the bottle feels a little bit light. That’s when you have to telescope it. Telescoping your beer is when you pick up a beer bottle, tilt it, and look down the neck to see how much precious booze you have left. It looks like you’re looking into a telescope, when all you’re really trying to do is figure out if you have to get another beer or not. Here’s a tip for you: if you’re wondering if you need to get another beer, you probably do. Or maybe you should just quit drinking. But it’s easier to get another beer.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Photo on 5-26-14 at 10.00 AM #2

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Pouring Beer Into a Glass

There’s a lot of debate over whether bottles or cans are better for beer. Cans are easier to transport, they take up less space, and they don’t let any light in so the beer won’t get skunky. Bottles are traditional, classier, and they make you feel like you’re getting your money’s worth. A bottle of craft beer has more credibility than a can of a cheap domestic. But it doesn’t matter if you’re a bottle guy or a can guy, because we can all agree that beer is good and that pouring beer into a glass makes it taste even better. Pouring beer into a glass wakes it up and revives it. When you pour a cold beer into a chilled glass, the beer gets bubbly and foamy, and ideally you’ll get a nice thick head. The head is an important part of the beer. It broadens the flavor and aromas of the beer, it opens up the flavor gates. It’s how you’re supposed to drink beer. If you buy a ten-dollar bottle of beer and chug it straight from the bottle, but that’s a waste of precious booze. If you don’t taste it and savor it, then you wasted it. So pour your beer into a glass, enjoy it and enjoy life. Head makes everything better (remember that, ladies).

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Mexican Coke (soda, not the drug)

Coca-Cola is a classic American beverage that has been embraced by the whole world and we take a lot of pride in that fact. But Mexico makes better Coke than we do. They use real sugar and package them in glass bottles. Americans use high-fructose corn syrup and primarily package them in cans. You can taste the difference. Mexican coke is slightly sweeter and has less of an aftertaste, but it’s still Coca-Cola, just a better tasting version of it. It’s a little more expensive, but it’s worth it. I fancy myself an amateur soda connoisseur, and Mexican Coke has a place in my personal Top Five Best Sodas list. I’m not sure of it’s exact standing because I’ve never actually made a Top Five Best Sodas list, but it would be on there for sure. Mexican Coke is nostalgia in a bottle, you can experience what real Coke used to taste like.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Beer Koozie

A beer koozie is a piece of foam or fabric that wraps around your beer and helps keeps it insulated. If you like cold beer and want it to stay cold longer, you might want to invest in a couple of koozies. They keep the beer cold by keeping your body temperature and sunlight from infiltrating the bottle or can. You’ll always know which beer is yours if you have a custom koozie. For example, I have a San Francisco Giants beer koozie so I can always find my beer when I set it down. And it also repels Dodger fans, which is always a plus. You might feel like a bit of a redneck the first time you use a beer koozie. That’s not a setup for a joke, it’s a warning. You’ll probably feel like white trash. Relax… you’re only white trash if you bring your koozie to a restaurant. Leave the koozie at home.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Breaking a Glass Bottle

There is something so satisfactory about breaking a glass bottle. I don’t know what it is. Maybe I enjoy the sound it makes as it shatters into a thousand pieces. It sounds like music to my ears. You feel powerful you throw a bottle against the wall or at the ground. You feel like you are in control. It’s like a high. Chucking a beer can doesn’t compare to smashing a bottle on cement. I had a habit of breaking bottles in my college years. I just felt like it wasn’t a party until shit got rowdy. I’ve kind of matured since then. I still love the sound of shattering glass, but I’m usually not the one doing the damage. I still like breaking bottles but I don’t like dealing with the broken glass. If I could get the same sensation without the mess, I’d be a happy camper.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Getting Every Last Drop From the Bottle

Things cost money and it’s important to get your money’s worth. It doesn’t matter if it’s a bottle of beer, ketchup, shampoo, syrup or whatever… if you paid for it, you should use it all up. Turn the bottle upside down, smack the bottom, do whatever it takes to get every last drop. Some companies want you to do this. These days Heinz even has upside down ketchup bottles with built-in gravity for maximum condiment efficiency. Getting every last drop from the bottle might make you seem frugal, but it’s better to be cheap than wasteful.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Bottle Openers

You have a bottle of beer that you want to consume. You can either smash the bottle or pop the cap. I suggest the latter. The best way to open the bottle is to use a bottle opener. You just apply it to the cap and pop it off with a little bit of leverage. There are a variety of ways to open a bottle without a bottle opener. You can use a lighter, another beer bottle, a countertop, your teeth (good luck), or a million other ways. Consult the Internet for those options: this article is about bottle openers. They are designed to open bottles. That’s all they are supposed to do and they do it better than anything else. No household or alcoholic is complete without one. I have three.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Breaking a Bottle of Beer in Your Backpack

I know that this seems like a really random topic, but it just happened to me at the liquor store. I bought a few tall boys and a couple of bottles, paid the cashier, stuffed the beer in my bag, and dropped it and broke the bottle before he even handed me my change. I knew I was fucked as soon as it hit the ground. I could hear my backpack filling up with beer as the other customers just stood around shaking their heads at me. I had to go outside and pour the beer out of my backpack into the sewage drain. Then I came back inside, collected my change, and sheepishly walked out holding my dripping backpack. Then I got to go home and give my backpack a good rinsing in the shower to get rid of the booze smell and pieces of glass. At least my other beers survived because I definitely needed a drink after that. Breaking a bottle of beer in your backpack is not fun. I wouldn’t recommend it.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Peeing in a Bottle

Ladies, please don’t judge this post. You will never know the simple joy of peeing in a bottle. You can try it, but it might spray so be careful. Peeing in a bottle is not something that you should make a habit of. You do it in emergencies, like when you’re stuck in traffic or someone refuses to get out of the bathroom. I prefer to pee outside, either on a tree or in the snow, but I have no qualms about peeing in a bottle. You just gotta make sure that you don’t lose your grip or overflow the bottle. Drunk pisses can last a long time, and hopefully you’re drunk if you’re peeing into a bottle.

I’m not advocating pissing into bottles. But sometimes toilets get boring and you need to shake things up a bit.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Coca-Cola Classic

The quintessential soda, this is America’s soda… No, this is the world’s soda. It is more than a soda pop. This is an icon. The logo and bottle shape are instantly recognizable by people from every country on every continent. Crisp, refreshing flavor, and the standard for colas everywhere.

The Coke chain of command goes:

Can < plastic bottle < soda fountain < glass bottle < Mexican glass bottle.

In Mexico they still use real sugar and none of that high fructose corn syrup that they use as sweetener in the US.

All Hail the King of Colas, the best Soda in the World, Now and Forever. Go to Hell Pepsi drinkers, you have lost the cola wars.

Critically Rated at a perfect 17/17.

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks