Monthly Archives: May 2016

Goon (film)

 The other night I was browsing through Netflix’s vast library looking for a movie to watch. I couldn’t find anything that I was in the mood to watch, so I caved into choosing one of their suggested movies for me. I ended up watching Goon, a little known 2011 sports comedy that I must have ignored a thousand times before. I thought it was just a random hockey flick starring Stifler. I’m really glad that I was wrong. Seann William Scott plays Doug Glatt, a nice guy and self aware dummy with a skill for fisticuffs. His talent is enough to get him a gig as an enforcer with a minor league hockey team. He can hardly skate but he knows how to punch, and his love of the game transforms his team from a rag tag bunch of losers into playoff contenders. It sounds cliche. It kind of is. There’s even a tacked on romantic subplot. 
 But it’s good. It’s really funny, there’s a lot of action, it’s sappy when it needs to be, and it’s genuine. You can’t fake honesty. Jay Baruchel cowrote the movie, and he costars in it. It was a passion project of his and it shows. He’s even tacked on to direct the sequel. Liev Schreiber plays a rival enforcer on another team and provides a lot of enjoyable drama as you await the inevitable matchup between the two gladiators. Alison Pill plays the imperfect love interest. Eugene Levy plays the awkward dad. Marc-André Grondin plays the cocky teammate who squandered his talent and only plays for himself. Kim Coates plays the coach who tries to control his players and get them to work as a team. It’s a solid movie with a solid cast and the film deserves a lot more attention.
 So I decided to blog about Goon in order to get the word out. Good movies deserve to be watched. Goon is a good movie. I was a little late to find out about it, but I still beat you to it if you haven’t seen it yet. And if you haven’t seen it yet, you should. It’s worth it. I promise.

 Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young 

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Guayakí Brand Yerba Mate

 I used to drink a shitload of Energy drinks back in the day. Then I switched to coffee for a while. Now I’m starting to drink yerba mate, specifically Guayakí Brand Yerba Mate. It claims to have “the strength of coffee, the health benefits of tea, and the euphoria of chocolate.” I don’t know about all that, but I do know that it provides me with a quick pick-me-up. It’s refreshing and more hydrating than most standard sugary energy drinks and it doesn’t leave me all jittery. It come in bottles and cans with a few different flavors, but I suggest that you try a can of Enlighten Mint as your first foray into the world of Yerba mate. It’s crisp and delicious and you shan’t be disappointed. Guayakí Brand Yerba Mate is gaining in popularity and it’s about to blow up and become super trendy. You might as well jump on the bandwagon now. You don’t want to be accused of being a loser later.

 Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tim Lincecum 

 I was born and raised as a San Francisco Giants fan in the suburbs of the city by the bay. I was a kid during the Barry Bonds era. I saw him hit home runs and steal bases and intimidate pitchers and lead us all the way to the World Series, only to suffer a devastating loss to the Angels and that damn Rally Monkey. I remember the hurt and pain of having a championship slip through our fingers. I knew that I would never take it for granted if we finally won one.

 Flash forward a few years to 2007, and I was moving into San Francisco after a brief stint in Los Angeles. I was back home where I belonged and the Giants were waiting for me. Things were a little bit different this time around. The Barry Bonds era was ending and an exciting new player was emerging. It wasn’t a slugger this time around. It was a pitcher… A scrawny white kid with a crazy delivery and lights out stuff. Tim Lincecum had arrived. 

 I watched as this kid (only a few months older than me) dominate. His fastball, his delivery, his casual attitude. He was a strikeout machine, he won games, he made hitters look foolish, and he smoked weed. He was cool as fuck. He won the Cy Young Award in his first full season. He won it again the very next year. He was The Freak, he was The Franchise, he was the future, and he proved it in 2010, when he lead us to the World Series. This time we won it. We did the impossible. And he was the biggest part of it. And I didn’t take it for granted. I celebrated. I cheered. I yelled. I even skipped work and went to the victory parade.

 Over the next few seasons, his velocity dropped, his command waned, and he was no longer immortal. He made mistakes and his ERA skyrocketed. But he still got the job done, any way that he could. He came out of the bullpen to help secure more World Series victories is 2012 and 2014. He didn’t always have his stuff, but he still managed to pitch a couple of no-hitters in 2013 and 2014. He never stopped fighting, he never stopped smiling, and we loved him for it.

 Injuries shortened his 2015 season and the Giants didn’t resign him. It turns out that baseball is a business after all. He started 2016 without a team to pitch for. He had a showcase in May that was enough to generate interest from a couple of MLB teams, and he ended up signing with the Angels and that damn Rally Monkey. He has yet to make his debut with them, and it’s going to be weird seeing him in a different uniform. He won’t be wearing the orange and black anymore, but he will always be a Giant. And unlike panda hats, his jersey will always be a welcome sight at AT&T. 

 Thank you, Tim. Thanks for representing the Giants in four All-Star games, for winning three World Series Championships, for the two Cy Young Awards, and your two no-hitters. You helped turn our team into a dynasty. It’s players like you that make me proud to be a Giants fan. Good luck with your new team, but I hope that you go into the Hall with SF on your cap.

 Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Camping Lantern 

 There are lots of types of lanterns out there, but this post is about camping lanterns. A camping lantern is portable light source used for illuminating dark campgrounds. You’ll find them mostly used by campers or by old farmers investigating spooky noises at night. I have a few lanterns that I’ve accumulated over the years. I have a Coleman one that runs on propane. I have another one that uses batteries. And I have another one that is solar powered (it only works in the day time though). A camping lantern is pretty useful for camping. After all, that’s what it’s for. It spreads the light more than a flashlight so it’s better for playing cards, cooking, or just providing comfort at the campsite. Don’t believe me? Ask my roommate. He went camping a few days ago and forgot to take a lantern. He said it sucked. He said he wish he had a lantern. He also forgot to take a flashlight. He had to sit in the dark and think about how nice it would be to have a lantern. He had to rely on the firelight and moonlight like a hobo. He learned his lesson. The next time he goes camping, he’s going to bring a lantern.
 Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young 

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Playing Cards

 Everybody should have a set of playing cards. I’m talking about your standard fifty-two card deck. You know, Ace through King… Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds and Spades… Don’t forget the pair of Jokers. You can never be truly bored if you have cards. There are thousands of card games with a million variations. You can play Poker, Blackjack, Crazy Eights, Spoons, War, Bullshit, or Bridge with friends and family as a source of entertainment anytime and anyplace when you have a deck of cards. And you can always play Solitaire if you have no friends. Not a fan of games? You can also use cards for magic tricks. Do a solid card trick in front of a drunk crowd and blow their minds. I’m sure you’ll impress the ladies. Chicks dig magicians. If you don’t have a deck of cards in your house, you should. If you don’t have a house, that fucking sucks but maybe a deck of cards will help take your mind off of it. Playing cards. Get on it.

 Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Push-Ups

 I don’t go to the gym. I don’t really work out. The only thing I do is sixty push-ups every day and that seems to be enough to keep me in shape. Why sixty? Because I used to do fifty and that started to become too easy, so I stepped up my game. I’ll step it up again soon in the near future and start doing seventy push-ups a day. But it’s sixty push-ups for now. Push-ups are a great exercise. They work out your chest, shoulders, arms, and core. You won’t get ripped, but you will get cut. You can do them anywhere, at any time, and you don’t have to pay any gym fees. It’s a solid workout that won’t leave you sweaty, and it only takes a few minutes to do. There’s really no reason not to do push-ups. Summer is coming quickly. Start doing push-ups now and you won’t be too embarrassed to take off your shirt at the beach. I’m not going to tell you how to do push-ups. You can watch instructional videos on YouTube if you want to see how to do them. There are different styles and techniques. I’m sure you’ll find one that works for you. Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young 

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Going Slow in the Fast Lane

 I don’t like it when I get stuck behind somebody that is going slow in the fast lane. It’s called the fast lane for a reason. You’re supposed to go fast in it. It’s the passing lane. Slower traffic should stay to the right. I thought it was common sense but apparently some people didn’t get the memo. I’d say that you should be going at least ten miles per hour above the speed limit to be using the fast lane, and you should get out of the fast lane if you see that there are others that want to go faster than you. If you’re going seventy-five miles per hour and see a guy going ninety, get out of the fast lane to let him pass, then get back in the fast lane and follow his lead. Let him do the major speeding so a cop pulls him over instead of you in a speed trap. I’m not encouraging you to speed. I’m saying that you should stay the fuck out of the fast lane if you don’t speed. Going slow in the fast lane is like killing yourself by a subway train: you’re wrecking other people’s commute because you hate your life. Don’t be so selfish and stay out of the fast lane. Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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People Who Always Sleep Through Their Alarms

I know a few people that can sleep through anything, including their alarm clocks in the morning. The alarm will go off and they won’t even notice. It will keep blasting and blaring until someone else snaps and wakes them up. I had quite a few roommates that were deaf to their alarms. I remember one who was downright terrible about it. His alarm would go off and would be going for ten minutes straight. It was super loud too. I was able to hear it through in my room down the hallway with the door closed. He would lie right next to it completely oblivious. I used to wake him up until I got sick of it after a few weeks. I started unplugging his alarm clock and let him sleep through and miss whatever event he set his alarm for. I wasn’t going to fall victim to his alarm clock every morning. What the fuck is the point of setting an alarm if you’re just going to ignore it? Why should others have to suffer? Especially that early in the morning before I’ve had my coffee. It’s not right. If you don’t deserve an alarm, please don’t set one. Hashtag, just sayin’.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Scaring Someone

I consider myself something of a trickster. I like playing pranks on people. Scaring someone is an easy and cheap way of entertaining yourself. All you need to do is sneak up on somebody who’s not paying attention. You creep up behind them and say “BOO!” Then you laugh as they jump and curse you for scaring them. Alternatively you can hide from view and then pop out at them. Remember to say “Boo!” It’s always funnier when you say “Boo!” when you scare them. It’s cliché, but it’s cliché for a reason. People like to be scared. They won’t admit it to save face, but you’re doing them a favor by scaring the shit out of them so don’t feel bad. It helps to hone their reflexes and could potentially save their life someday. The next time that you’re bored and need something to do, consider scaring someone. It will be well worth it, I assure you.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Decompression Day

I went on a weeklong road trip vacation to Los Angeles and Santa Barbara with my girlfriend. It was a long trip that involved Disneyland, California Adventure, Universal Studios Hollywood, camping, my cousin’s wedding, me meeting my girlfriend’s parents, and her meeting practically my whole family at the wedding. Vacations should be relaxing, and this one had a lot going on, so we decided to cut the trip short and come home a day early. It was a good call. We needed a decompression day. It would have been too hard to come home from a road trip like that and immediately go back to work the next day. Everyone should schedule a decompression day to mark the end of an extended vacation. It gives you a little bit of time to reflect on your trip, unpack, do laundry, and catch up on Netflix. It’s like a vacation from your vacation. Get on it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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