Tag Archives: friend

January 24, 2016 · 4:39 pm

Breakthrough Conversation

I went to the bar after work the other day with the sole purpose of killing time to avoid the commute home during rush hour. I walked in and saw one of my coworkers. I’ve known him for a few years but he works in a different department and we’ve only talked about work stuff, weather, movies, and local sports teams. That was probably the first time that I had even seen him out of work. It’s better to drink with somebody than to drink alone, so I pulled up a stool next to him and sat down. We started talking about work stuff, but the conversation eventually turned into a real one.

We talked about our lives. Where we grew up, where we went to school, where we lived before moving to the city. We talked about our childhoods, our families, and what we thought about the world. It was a breakthrough conversation, the kind of talk where a stranger becomes a friend. It’s always cool to get to know someone better. It’s weird, it’s almost like humans need social interaction or something.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as breakthrough conversation, conversation, coworker, friend, stranger, talk

March 30, 2015 · 12:34 pm

Friends with a Liar

I am friends with a liar. He lies all the time, and he will lie about anything. He will lie about the mundane, he will lie about the fantastic, and he will steal other people’s stories and make them his own. You can’t trust anything that he says. He will lie about what time he left the house, what shoe he put on first, and what he had for dinner. He will lie about places he’s been to and people he’s met. I don’t know why he lies so much, but he does. It’s probably for attention, but at this point it’s probably a habit. It kind of sucks being friends with a liar. You have to take everything he says with a grain of salt. You want to believe him but you can’t. He’s still my friend though. We’ve gone through some shit, both good and bad. He’s always been dependable, just not trustworthy.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 22, 2015 · 3:23 pm

Random Mutual Friends

Every now and then I cave into Facebook’s demands and check the list of people I may know to see if there is anyone worth adding to my friends list. Facebook will display a name, a profile picture, and a list of the mutual friends that you have in common. It’s a small world so you’ll often find out that you have some truly random mutual friends. My cousin knows one of my coworkers even though they live on opposite sides of the country. I have friends from my elementary school who know friends from my college. It makes you wonder how they met each other. Checking random mutual friends is like playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon and you’re Kevin Bacon.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 7, 2015 · 1:52 pm

When an Old Friend Visits Your City and Doesn’t Tell You

I woke up this morning and did my usual routine, which of course involves checking Facebook and seeing what the world is up to. I saw my friend’s feed, on which he posted several images of the Golden Gate Bridge and various San Francisco landmarks with a caption reading, “Great weekend in a great city!” I agreed with his caption, but couldn’t help feel slighted because this friend is from another country and doesn’t come out to California too often. He should have told me he was coming. I would have bought him a beer. It’s a shitty feeling when an old friend visits your city and doesn’t tell you. It makes you feel left out and unwanted. And you are. And there’s no way to get back at them, short of going to their city and posting pictures of their landmarks. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I’ll just stick to writing passive-aggressive blog posts.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as city, country, friend, old friend, visit, when an old friend visits your city and doesn't tell you

December 15, 2014 · 5:17 pm

Four-Story Friend

I have a friend that I can only hang out with once every couple of weeks. He’s a cool guy and he’s fun to hang out with, but he has the nasty habit of telling the same stories over and over again. And he only has four stories. He’s a four-story friend. There’s the time he got really drunk, there’s the time he boned the hottest chick in the world, there’s the time his car broke down on the freeway, and there’s the time he did that thing on vacation. He loves to be the center of attention and will tell his four stories at every opportunity he gets, but he doesn’t seem to realize that we’ve heard all heard them a thousand times before. We know his stories better than he does. What he needs to do is add more stories to his repertoire. He needs to experience new things and transform himself into a five-story friend.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 20, 2014 · 8:22 pm

Spare a Nug

It seems like every stoner I know goes dry at least once a year. One side effect of smoking marijuana on a regular basis is getting too high and forgetting to get more green before you run out. Dealers aren’t always available and cannabis clubs aren’t always open. That’s when you have to ask a stoner friend if he can spare a nug. You don’t need a gram, you only need enough for a bowl or two. You should offer him five bucks for it as a courtesy. If he’s a good friend he’ll decline your money and just spot you, because he knows that you’ll return the favor somewhere down the road. Giving away weed to a friend in need is an important part of the stoner lifestyle. It’s like buying a round for your friends at the bar. It’s for the good kind of karma.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 9, 2014 · 6:19 pm

The Personalities in Every Group of Friends

It seems like every group of friends has the same stereotypes. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from, we all have the same types of friends. Some of the personalities might overlap, but they are all represented.

There’s the leader. He (or she) is the most popular one. He’s the glue that keeps the group together. It’s not an event if he’s not there. He’s your best friend but you’re not necessarily his. He’s too busy to have just one.

There’s the funny one. He’s the one constantly cracking jokes and keeping everyone entertained. No party is complete without him. It’s hard to take him seriously, but he makes the group fun to be with.

Every group has its oddball, the weird one who doesn’t quite fit in. He’s the scapegoat, the butt of all the jokes, but he’s still integral to the group. He’s Screech and you keep him around to blame when shit goes wrong.

There’s the intimidator. He’s the one that gets the group in trouble. He’s the rowdy one, the one that instigates fights with other groups. He’s kind of a bully but he’s fiercely loyal to the group, and he’s always willing to take a punch for you.

You have the slutty one. This is the one that hooks up with the most people. He gets around and you live vicariously through him. He’s never in a relationship but he always has somebody to fuck. He makes for a good wingman, so long as he doesn’t want the one that you want.

There’s the occasional. He’s like an alternate. He’s there for some events and he’s not missed for others. He’s a social butterfly and always has another group or groups of friends that he brings together when it’s time to party.

There’s always a nerd. The nerd is the smart one that everyone exploits. He’s not that fun to hang out with, but he’s always down to help you with homework or file your taxes. You kind of use him, but he’s willing to be used as long as he’s part of the group.

The mover is an important member. This is the guy that always comes up with something to do. He finds the obscure events and gets the group involved. He plans parties and outings and always has a connection for tickets or clubs.

You have to have a sympathetic friend. The one that listens to everyone and dispenses the best advice. He’s the one that you can always rely on when you need somebody’s help. He’s there to help you move, he’s there to pick you up from the airport, and he’s there when you need to vent.

Each group has a downer, the one that bitches and complains and brings everyone down. He’s part of the group, but barely. Nobody really likes him but they keep him around for one reason or another. Maybe he has a cool car, maybe he has a family cabin that he lets everyone use.

So that’s my list of the personalities in every group of friends. Which one are you?

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as friend, friends, group, personalities in every group of friends, social

May 19, 2014 · 9:01 am

Your Friend’s Attractive Girlfriend

Everyone has one friend with a really hot girlfriend. Like way hot. And everyone secretly wonders how he got her. Because she’s so hot. And she’s funny. And she’s smart. And she laughs at your jokes. And you think that she kinda likes you. And that maybe you should ask her out. And then you remember that she’s your friend’s girlfriend and you feel like a douchebag. She’s just so hot though. God dammit. Your friend’s attractive girlfriend is like artwork in a museum. You can look, but you can’t touch. Only make sure that your friend doesn’t catch you looking and have an excuse ready if he does.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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April 25, 2014 · 8:43 am

Instant Friend Request

You go to a party with a friend and meet a bunch of new random people. You have a few beers, a few laughs, and then you call it a night and go home. You wake up the next morning and check Facebook and you have a new friend request. You’re intrigued and you click on it, and you find out that it’s from that weird guy that debated about Marvel vs. DC with you the night before. You’re not sure if you should accept his request or deny it, so you ignore it. An instant friend request is always an awkward situation. I don’t know you. I just met you. Why are you stalking me on Facebook? And how did you find out my full name? How desperate are you to socialize? I was just being friendly, I wasn’t trying to be your friend.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 1, 2014 · 2:04 pm

Helping a Friend Move

Helping a friend move is a big step in any relationship. Not too many people are willing to sacrifice a Saturday to help you haul cardboard boxes around. But if you find a friend that’s willing to help you move, you know you’ve found a true friend. And you should reward him for his services. You don’t have to give him money, but you should give him beer or something as a way of saying thank you. That way it will be more like you’re hanging out and you won’t feel as guilty about taking advantage of the free labor. It’s also a bonding experience. Lugging a big screen TV down a flight of stairs is like living in a dorm together. You quickly discover each other’s flaws and true personalities, and there’s a sense of pride and accomplishment if you get through the ordeal without killing each other. You can’t call it a successful life if you’ve never helped a friend move. It’s not glamorous, but it’s fulfilling.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as box, boxes, friend, helping a friend move, move, moving

December 29, 2013 · 11:56 am

Imaginary Friends

It seems like every little kid has an imaginary friend or two. It’s a way to stave off boredom and it helps them to develop personality and social skills. But as you grow up, your imaginary friends begin to fade away. It’s tough to say if you are outgrowing them or if your imaginary friends just don’t want to hang out with you anymore. It’s probably the latter. Imaginary friends get sick and tired of having to do everything that you want to do. Maybe they didn’t want to go to the zoo or play Hot Lava, but you still made them do it anyway. They probably resent you for always controlling the situation and never respecting their opinions. You might have listened to them, but you never really heard what they were saying. And so they started hanging out with other people’s imaginary friends and let your relationship fizzle out. Friendships sometimes end. Even imaginary ones.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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September 2, 2013 · 5:07 pm

Accidently Friending the Wrong Person on Facebook

Facebook likes to make friend recommendations. Most of the time it’s somebody that you know. Sometimes it’s someone that you would rather not know. Sometimes it’s a complete stranger that shares a few mutual friends with you and you think that you know them, so you send them a friend request. And then you realize that you made a mistake and you have no clue who this person is. A few weeks ago, Facebook recommended that I request to be David’s friend. I assumed it was my coworker named David. It wasn’t that David. It was a different David. I deleted him, but the damage was already done. My Facebook reputation was tarnished. Accidently friending the wrong person on Facebook makes you feel stupid. You feel duped. You feel like you should know this person but you don’t, so you have failed. But rest assured, it’s not your fault. It’s Facebook’s fault. They should know that you don’t want to be friends with your friend’s grandma just because you both like the same status. That’s not how friendships are formed. Friendships are based on actual interactions, not electronic ones.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as accident, accidently friending the wrong person on facebook, facebook, friend, friend recommendation, friend request

June 9, 2013 · 9:48 am

Your Friend’s Annoying Girlfriend

You’re bored and have the day off, so you start going through your contacts looking for someone to hang out with. You come across the number of a friend that you haven’t seen in a while, and you’re about to call him when you suddenly remember his annoying girlfriend and you realize you’d rather stay home on a Saturday night than deal with her bitch ass. Everybody has a good friend that they don’t ever want to hang out with because of his lame girlfriend who can’t keep her mouth shut. She will constantly start bullshit arguments with you, and she expects her boyfriend to take her side (and he does, because pussy does that to you). She always has to interject and voice her opinion about something she doesn’t know anything about. You just want to grab a brew, watch the game, and catch up, but she’s intent on destroying your friendship for some twisted reason that’s known only to her. Most of your friends have cool girlfriends, but there’s always one Super Cunt who has a life ambition to prevent people from having fun. You wonder what your friend sees in her. Then you notice her rack. That’s why.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as annoying girlfriend, friend, girlfriend, your friends annoying girlfriend

May 11, 2013 · 10:38 am

Make Friends with the People Around You

It’s important to make friends with the people around you whenever you go to a concert or a sporting event or another similar event with a large crowd. You don’t have to ask their names, or what high school they went to, or add them on Facebook… you just have to make some small talk and exchange pleasantries. This way they are more forgiving each time they have to stand up to make room for you when you go get food or go to the bathroom. And they are more willing to look the other way as you pour your smuggled liquor into a Coke cup and pass it around your group. And plus events are more fun with friendly people around you. I was at a Giants game the other night and I overheard a little old lady telling her family that it was her first game of her life. I turned around and told her that she’s going to see something amazing. Sure enough, Buster Posey hit a home run and she turned into a schoolgirl and giddily told me that her last name was Posey too. Seeing the joy on her face turned a typical home run into a memorable one. We lost the game but that little old lady made my night. That’s why I make nice with the people around me. It makes being stuck in a crowd more bearable. Swapping stories and practicing common courtesy with your temporary neighbors goes a long way. For some reason, social events are more fun with a little social interaction.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as baseball game, buster posey, concert, crowd, exchange pleasantries, friend, friendly, giants game, large crowd, little old lady, make friends, make friends with the people around you, make nice, neighbors, social event, social interaction

February 22, 2013 · 6:20 am

Forgetting Somebody’s Name

You’re at a small party and you’re enjoying yourself, making small talk and shooting the shit, and a new person enters the conversation. He looks familiar, you know that you’ve met him a few times before, but you can’t remember his name and you know that you should. It’s something like Arthur or Ben or Dan, something boring like that, but you can’t be sure. Forgetting somebody’s name is inevitable, you meet a lot of people and a lot of people are forgettable. But you seem like a jerk when they remember your name and you can’t remember theirs. You can always resort to calling them friendly nicknames like “Buddy” or “Guy” or something. Sometimes you’ll be hanging out with a friend and bump into a forgotten acquaintance, and have to stumble your way through an awkward introduction. Hopefully your friend will introduce himself before you have to admit you forgot the other guy existed. Forgetting somebody’s name is still better than pronouncing a name wrong though.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as acquaintance, forgetting, forgetting somebody's name, friend, introduction, name

December 12, 2012 · 10:00 am

Thinking You See Someone You Know

You’re downtown running errands and you see your friend walking towards you. You start walking over, greeting him as you go. You get a few feet away from him and realize you’re talking to a complete stranger. You can brush past him and pretend you’re talking to someone else or you can apologize and explain that you thought he was someone else. Thinking you see someone you know and having it be a stranger is kind of a let down. It’s like seeing The Phantom Menace for the first time and wondering what happened to Star Wars. What happened to my friend? And who the fuck are you? I’m just going to try and pretend you don’t exist. Next time you better be who I think you are.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as friend, stranger, thinking you see someone you know

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