Tag Archives: park

Adventure Day Backpack

I have an adventure day backpack. It’s the backpack that I always take to the beach or park. I’ll also bring it when I go hiking or camping or on a random day trip. I keep a few essentials in the bag at all times. There’s a lighter and a bottle opener so I’m always ready to party. There’s a bottle of hand sanitizer because it’s a nice gesture to clean your hands after you piss in public. I have a tube of Carmex lip balm to protect my lips. I have big lips, I need to protect them. There’s a multi-tool that my sister gave me with a knife, screwdriver, saw, can opener. There’s a stash of Band-Aids because shit happens. That’s just the pockets.

Open it up, and there are two baseball gloves and a ball, so I can have a catch wherever and whenever. There’s a Nerf football and a Frisbee if I want to play catch with something else. There’s a cribbage board so I can play cribbage if I want to play cribbage. There’s a deck of cards because you can’t play cribbage without a deck of cards. There’s also an UNO deck so I can play UNO and you can’t play UNO with regular cards. Crazy Eights just isn’t the same. There’s a beach towel so I can sit down at the beach. It also works just as well at the park. There used to be Bluetooth speakers too, but they broke. My birthday is coming up. I could use some speakers. Just saying.

I’m quite fond of my adventure day backpack. We’ve had a lot of good times together. I hope we have a lot more. Everyone should have a designated adventure day backpack. Everyone should go on adventures. Live life. That’s what I say, that’s what I do. Having an adventure day backpack makes it easier.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

dakine-campus-lg-backpack-reverse

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Lounging Under a Tree

Call me a hippie, but I like nature. I like being outside. One of my favorite things to do on days off is hanging out in Golden Gate Park with a couple of friends and a couple of brews. We will post up under a tree, throw a blanket on the ground, put on some music, and hang out until we feel like moving on. I’ll lie on my back and watch the sunlight filter through the leaves and the clouds move across the sky. I’ll track leaves as they fall from the branch and gently float towards the grass. I’ll sit up every once in a while to sip my beer without it dribbling down my chin. I’m not opposed to puffing the green stuff either. It makes lounging under a tree even more chill. You’re missing out if you’ve never hung out under a tree. It’s one of the easiest things to cross off your bucket list. All you have to is find a tree and hang out under it. If you can’t find satisfaction in that, you’re not a person I want to know.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

IMG_3556

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Forgetting Where You Parked Your Car and Thinking It Got Stolen

I have a car but I don’t drive it very often. I pretty much only drive it when I have to go to the store or to move it for street cleaning. I forgot about the street cleaning last week until the last minute but I was able to move my car in time. Unfortunately I had to park it on a different street because all the spots were taken on mine. This morning I went to find my car and move it back to my street. I walked to where I thought I left it and it wasn’t there. I kept on walking, hoping it was just a little bit up ahead. It still wasn’t there. I started panicking a little bit. Where did I park it? Did somebody steal it? Was this the start of weeks on the phone battling the insurance company? Forgetting where you parked your car and thinking it got stolen is an unsettling feeling. You can’t help but feel that the universe has it in for you, that it’s out to get you. All you can do in that situation is keep on walking and looking for your car. That’s what I did. I kept on walking. Eventually I found my car. It just wasn’t where I remembered parking it. I felt a little stupid and a lot of relief. Nobody stole it (this time at least). Next time I will take pictures of where I park it and mark the GPS on my phone. It will be more work but less stress later on.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

giphy

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

A Day That Never Ends

Yesterday was an epic day. It was one of those days that stretches on and on and you do so many random things that it doesn’t seem like you did them all in the same day. It was like a real life version of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I hung out with some amazing friends, we did a lot of amazing things, and we somehow managed to cram it all into a twenty-four hour period. We started the day by meeting at McDonald’s and grabbing a quick bite to eat before going to Golden Gate Park to participate in the AIDS Walk. We walked for a few miles and helped make the world a better place. Then we decided to get some bottles of champagne and have mimosas on the beach. We deserved it. We went to the grocery store and bought some booze and juice, plus a few other essentials like sandwiches, chips and dip, and some bubbles. You gotta have bubbles. We marched out to the beach and staked out a good log to sit on while we munched our munchies and drank our drinks. We talked and we laughed and we people watched. We saw a group of guys flying kites in formation, doing all kinds of synchronized tricks like they were the Blue Angels of the kite world.

We finished our four bottles of champagne in record time and decided to keep the party going. We went back to the grocery store to reload on booze and chips, but then we decided to find a cool spot in the park rather than go back to the beach. We took a few overlooked paths before finding a cool spot with rocks to lay on and trees to climb. I cracked a brew, shimmied up a tree, and posted up there for a few hours. There was a restaurant nearby that had outdoor seating and it was out of sight but still close enough that we could hear their music blasting. Luckily their music was an actual band that played classic rock songs from the ‘50s and ‘60s. We were essentially listening in on a live concert. We could have stayed there forever, but the music eventually ended, the sun went down, and it started to get cold.

At that point we said fuck it, went to the store and got more booze, and then went to our friend’s house to hang out. We had more drinks, more laughs, and we listened to gangster rap and released our inner thugs. At one point I left to have dinner at a Mexican restaurant, but I came back to the house right after. We partied some more, drank some more, and laughed some more. Did I mention the drinking and the laughing? Because that was the theme of the day. Midnight came and went, and things were going great until someone mentioned that it was 1:30 a.m. and we still had time to go to the bar to make last call. You can’t survive the whole day and suddenly become a party pooper, so I reluctantly went for one last drink. I didn’t even order my own, I just sipped from my friend’s beer.

I wish I could say that I was responsible and went home after the bar closed, but we went back to my friend’s house for a little bit longer. It was somewhere around 2:30 or 3:00 that I finally threw in the towel and went home. I got home and fell into my bed and slept like a rock until I got up, checked Facebook and saw all the pictures and comments from the day before, and decided my day was awesome enough to Critically Rate it. So that’s what I did, and now I’m done. The best days in life are the spontaneous ones, the ones that never end. I knew that yesterday was special early on. I knew that I would remember it forever. I made sure to live in the moment and I’m a little sad that the moment’s already passed. And now I can’t wait for my next epic day.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

10369207_10202711136963648_4707220029769628076_n

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Looking For Parking

I live in a city where you don’t need a car to get around. Driving a car in my city becomes a hassle. You have to deal with traffic, street cleaning, vandals, tickets, and looking for parking. Looking for parking is the worst thing about driving in the city. It only takes ten minutes to drive from Point A to Point B, but you’ll spend twenty minutes creeping up and down side streets and alleyways at seven miles per hour trying to find a spot. You finally find a spot and park, and only then will you notice that the curb is painted red and you’re right next to a fire hydrant. Or you can only park there on the second Wednesday of each month. Or you have to have a Residential Permit to park there. So you scream and bash your head into the steering wheel out of frustration and continue on your quest in search of parking. Another twenty minutes go by until you finally give up and pay twenty bucks to park it in a lot somewhere. Fuck that. Next time you’ll just take the bus.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

parking space

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

A Nice Day in San Francisco

I’m trying to find something to write about, but it’s extremely difficult because it’s perfect outside. People shit on San Francisco’s weather. They say that it’s cold and foggy all the time. And that’s mostly true, but we do get nice days every once in a while. A nice day in San Francisco is a blessing and everyone takes advantage of it. They turn off the TV and go outside to feel the warmth of the sun. Everyone goes to the beach or to the park. They ride bikes and go for hikes. The girls wear skimpy clothes. I lived in Los Angeles, where good weather is year round and they take it for granted. They don’t care that the sun is shining. They drive to the tanning salon while blasting the air conditioner. The girls wear skimpy clothes, but that’s because they are slutty not weather conscious. They don’t appreciate good weather because they have it all the time. A nice day in San Francisco is something that you can’t afford to squander. That makes it more worthwhile.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

original

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

It’s Not Illegally Parking If Someone Stays In the Car

Have you ever noticed that it’s perfectly ok to double park or park in a handicap spot without a placard if someone stays in the car? I’m pretty sure it’s still not legal to do that, but most cops will look the other way if someone stays in the car. It’s proof that you’re there temporarily and that you’ll be leaving in a minute. It might be a bit of an inconvenience to other drivers, but they do it too. Only the surliest of drivers will honk at you and scream at you to move your car. Don’t give in to assholes though… give them the finger and tell them to fuck off. And stay in your spot. Remember: it’s not illegally parking if someone stays in the car. Leave your baby in the backseat the next time you go grocery shopping and save yourself the hassle of searching for a spot.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Parking Spot

A parking spot is a spot where you park your car. You usually find parking spots in garages, parking lots, and on the side of the road. A parking spot is a precious commodity, especially in a big city. Drivers will go through great lengths to find a good parking spot. A driver might circle the same two blocks for forty-five minutes in a futile attempt to find a spot. A good parking spot is something to fight over. It’s not uncommon for two frustrated drivers to start yelling or throw fists over a few feet of asphalt. Earlier today I went to the neighborhood mom and pop shop to buy some groceries. The cashier greeted me when I walked in, I walked around and gathered my items, but she was gone when I went to pay. I wondered where she disappeared to and then she came running in from the street, apologizing and explaining that she saw a good parking spot open up outside and she had to take it. Perfectly understandable. Parking spots are like opportunities… you have to take them when you can.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

1 Comment

Filed under Random Rants

Watching Someone Fail at Parking

I live in San Francisco and parking spaces are hard to come by. It’s not uncommon to see two or three cars fighting for a single spot. So you have to be able to park if you’re gonna drive in the city. And if you can’t parallel park then you can’t park at all. You can always spot a tourist based on how long it takes them to park. Watching someone fail at parking would be the ultimate reality show. Each futile attempt becomes increasingly sloppy, and you would see the driver’s frustration rising and exploding into rage. At a certain point it stops being entertainment and you start to feel bad for the driver. It’s like watching a goldfish flopping on the ground next to its tank. You want to plop the little guy back in his bowl, just like you wanna go over and park the car for him. But you have to refrain yourself from helping him. If you can’t park, then you can’t drive, and if you can’t drive you shouldn’t own a fucking car. You shouldn’t help goldfish park, sometimes you just gotta let those fuckers flop around.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

1 Comment

Filed under People I Feel Sorry For

A Walk in the Park

I am lucky enough to live next to Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, one of the best parks in the world. It’s bigger than NYC’s Central Park. That means it is better. Popularity and politics aside, if you are lucky enough to live close to a park too, I suggest that you take some time and enjoy a walk in the park. You’ll experience fresh air and sunshine. You’ll see birds and squirrels and trees and flowers and be reminded that Nature is a real thing and not just something you see on the Discovery Channel.

It’s good to be out in open space, standing on grass and dirt rather than concrete and trash. Sometimes you forget about nature when you live in a city. A walk in the park makes you remember that your roots are in caves, not in cubicles. And going outside is free entertainment. Appreciate it and take advantage of it.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants