Tag Archives: time

January 19, 2016 · 8:34 pm

Calendar

A calendar is an organizing system to keep track of days. It’s sort of like a roadmap for time. It helps to keep track of days, weeks, months, and years. It allows you to plan things better. Call me old-fashioned, but I have a calendar on the wall. I don’t use the organizer app on my phone. I physically write out my schedule on the wall with a real pen. The goal is to have something written down on each day. If your calendar is full, your life is full. That’s a good philosophy and it’s worked for me so far.

I have the traditional wall calendar that only displays one month at a time. It begins with January and goes all the way to December with a different picture for each month. It’s pretty exciting to flip the page and see the new picture. And if you think that’s exciting, you’ll really love off-the-wall calendars. Those are calendars that go by individual days instead of months. So you’ll get excited three hundred and sixty-five times each year as opposed to only twelve times. Some off-the-wall calendars take advantage of this, specifically the Word of the Day Calendar (which improves your vocabulary drastically/significantly/immensely one day at a time) and the Far Side Off-The-Wall Calendar (which delivers absurd humor daily). Off-the-wall calendars can improve your life if you let them into it.

I don’t have anything else to say about calendars. I think I’ll end the post right around here. Maybe I’ll say one more thing to pad it out. Maybe I won’t. I haven’t decided yet. I think I should. I mean, this paragraph isn’t even about calendars right now. I should have stopped typing already. But I keep on going for some reason. And you keep on reading. Sucker.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

calendar_icon

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , , , , ,

October 14, 2015 · 8:10 pm

Time Discrepancy

A few weeks ago I noticed that the time displayed on my laptop is different from the time on my phone. There was a two-minute difference. I tried to ignore it for a while, but the time discrepancy kept growing. Now there’s a four-minute difference. I don’t know why. Maybe it has something to do with black holes, vortexes, or aliens, but there’s definitely something spooky happening. I know it’s my laptop that’s wrong because my phone and tablet show the same time. It’s kind of weird because laptop, phone, and tablet are all Apple products and they are all on the same Wi-Fi network. My laptop thinks that it’s in the future. It could be. It’s hard to tell. A four-minute window into the future isn’t much to go on. And even if it was in the future, a four-minute window isn’t much help. I need at least ten minutes if I’m going to save the world. I’ve thought about this too much.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

imgres

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , ,

August 4, 2015 · 8:14 pm

Military Time

Military time is a way of keeping track of the hours using twenty-four hours instead using twelve hour intervals with a.m. or p.m. to differentiate between morning and evening. It’s known as the 24-hour clock around the world, but this is America and we call it military time, because violence. It’s convenient in that you don’t have to specify a.m. or p.m. but it’s inconvenient because you have to do math. If someone tells you that it’s 22:37, you have to subtract twelve hours to find the real time. 22 minus 12 is 10, so 22:37 is 10:37 p.m. I’m not a fan of military time. I’m not used to it and I don’t like change. There’s not much wrong with using a.m. or p.m. It doesn’t take much time to write it out and you don’t have to do math. I just want to know the time. I don’t want to have to think.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

bb453wb-w800h800z1-58050-16-20-im-on-military-time-but-i-still-blaze-it

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , ,

July 13, 2014 · 9:59 pm

11:11

11:11 is a great time. It doesn’t matter if it’s a.m. or p.m., it’s simply a great time to glance at the clock. You get a free wish. It might not come true, but you still get to make a wish. And you have two chances a day to get one. That’s a pretty good deal. 11:11 is also a great time because it’s a palindrome. It’s the same forward as it is backward. It’s a perfect palindrome too. It’s the same upside down as it is right side up. It’s also a mirror image. That’s pretty impressive. What else do you want from a specific time of day?
Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

1111

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , ,

April 16, 2014 · 9:29 am

Time Jumps

Time jumps are when you glance at the time, look away for a moment, and glance back at the time and realize that an hour or more has slipped away. It happens when you’re sleeping. It happens when you’re bored. It happens when you’re fucked up. It happens when you’re driving or travelling. It happens when you’re really happy. And sometimes it happens in life. A summer romance ends as September approaches. You just started high school and now you’re already graduating. You just got your dog, he was a puppy, and now you’re taking him to the vet for the last time. The kid from The Wonder Years is how old now? Where did the time go? What happened? And if only I could go back and do it again…

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

2012-sand-beach

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , ,

August 22, 2013 · 8:33 am

Setting Your Alarm for the Wrong Time

I don’t have a fixed schedule, so my wakeup times are always changing. Some days I can sleep in, some days I have to wake up at 9:30, other days at 8:15, and sometimes I’ll set my alarm for 9:00. There’s a danger in having so many different wakeup times… sometimes I’ll set the alarm for the wrong time. It’s not that bad if I wake up early, but it sucks if I set it for a later time. Then I might as well have not even set it in the first place. I still woke up late and I’m still fucked. The worst thing is that I didn’t forget to set it. I just didn’t do it right. I failed. Because I’m an idiot. Setting your alarm for the wrong time is one of those stupid things that everyone does at least once in their lifetime. Too bad your boss won’t accept it as a valid excuse for being late.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

January 15, 2013 · 7:52 am

Time Slows Down When You Pass a Blunt

Have you ever noticed that time slows down when you pass a blunt? You’re stoned and rambling on about something while you puff and puff until it’s time to pass. You shut up and slowly and carefully transfer it from your hand to the his, taking extreme precautions to avoid the sin of dropping the blunt. Time seems to slow down and stretch out. If you weren’t so preoccupied with the blunt you would be able to see each individual wingbeat of hummingbird in flight. It’s similar to an athlete being in the zone, when you’re in that perfect state of consciousness and you’re only focused on the task at hand. In this case, passing a blunt.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under 420

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

December 15, 2012 · 11:15 am

Being Crunched for Time

I hate being late. I hate knowing that I’m going to be late. It seems like the whole world decides to relax and take it easy when I’m late. Like the universe is trying to slow me down even more. Being crunched for time means everything starts to go wrong. You get stuck behind an old lady driving. A family with way too many kids is blocking the sidewalk. The line at Starbucks is out the door and the guy in front of you doesn’t know what a Venti is. It’s enough to make you lash out and slap a stranger. Instead you bite your tongue and remember that patience is a fucking virtue. But you’re still going to be late.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , ,

November 26, 2012 · 11:54 am

Your Birthday Time

Other than 4:20, my favorite part of the day is my birthday time. That’s the magical part of the day when the clock displays your birthday. My birthday is April 29 or 4/29, so my birthday time is 4:29. Your birthday time doesn’t mean anything, but it’s nice to see it. We’re all selfish bastards who secretly want to be the center of the universe so we expect some sort of acknowledgement when the clock shows our birthday time.

It sucks for Europeans because they use the 24-hour clock and also put the day before the month. For example, my European birthday would be 29/4 and there is no 29 o’clock. That’s probably another reason why the world hates Americans so much: because we can celebrate our birthday twice a day instead of only once a year. Let me know the next time your birthday time makes an appearance and we’ll give you a toast.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , ,

November 4, 2012 · 8:41 am

Daylight Saving Time

First things first: it’s daylight saving, not daylight savings. You are saving daylight. People like to stick an “S” on the end of words unnecessarily for some reason. Maybe it makes them feel important. The trick to remembering whether or not to turn the clock forward or backward is easy to remember: Spring forward, Fall back. It works most places except the southern hemisphere. Most clocks change automatically in this futuristic world that we call home, but there’s always some idiot who is oblivious to the time change.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

July 13, 2012 · 8:53 am

Realizing You’ve Seen it Before Halfway Through

You finally have a day off to catch up on your Netflix queue. You know that you are halfway through the third season of Breaking Bad, but you aren’t quite sure which episode you were on. You were a few episodes in, you know that much. You decide to go with the fifth episode and you think you’ve made the right choice. About twenty minutes into it, it occurs to you that you already heard Walter say that line. Realizing you’ve seen it before halfway through the episode is a terrible feeling. You know that you wasted your time and you have no one to blame but yourself. You could have been twenty minutes into the right episode. You will never get that twenty minutes back. You are twenty minutes closer to death.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , ,

May 13, 2012 · 9:55 am

Looking at the Time and Instantly Forgetting It

We’ve all been there before. You are bored at work or you are waiting for a movie, and you pull out your phone and glance at the time. You don’t really care what time it is, it’s just something to do. So anyway, you glance at the time, and put your phone back. Then you realize that you didn’t really absorb what your phone said and you still have no idea what time it is. So you whip out your phone and look at the time again. And it’s still 8:57 and nothing has changed, but you feel like a dumbass.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , ,