Tag Archives: school

Half-Day

It was slow at work today so I asked to go home early. I don’t like working when there’s nothing to do. My manager had too many people scheduled and was more than happy to cut me from the floor. I clocked out by 1:00 pm instead of 5:30 pm like I was supposed to. I was stoked. I celebrated by getting a burrito. It tasted like freedom. I love half-days. There’s nothing quite like them. Remember how much fun half-days were in high school? You had to sludge through a few classes for a few hours and then it was time for shenanigans. College was all half-days and my liver still hates me for going to a party school.

Half-days are like Fridays. You have to work a little but then you get to play. Unplanned half-days are even better. It’s like the universe wants you to be happy. You can’t take them for granted. You have to do something special to celebrate. You don’t have to get a burrito like I did, but you gotta do something. Half-days don’t happen all the time. Take advantage when they do.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

keep-calm-it-s-a-half-day-today

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School Bus

A school bus is a bus that takes students to and from school, as well as other school events like field trips and juvenile detention facilities. An American school bus is typically yellow. You don’t want to be on the short bus. The shorter your bus, the more problems you have. I think I’ve been on a school bus once or twice in my life. My mom was a teacher at my school so I always had a ride for elementary and middle school, I carpooled in high school, and I drove in college. I feel like I missed out on a part of my childhood by not taking the school bus. The school bus always seemed so amazing as depicted in movies and on TV shows like The Magic School Bus, The Simpsons, and Billy Madison. It’s a place for shenanigans and rowdiness. I like being rowdy, I like shenanigans, and the school bus seems like the best place for that. It’s a confined space, there’s an audience, there’s an angry driver, and there are no seatbelts. It’s paradise for the rambunctious.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Yearbook

A yearbook is a collection of uncomfortable portraits and cheesy quotes that are used to commemorate a school year. Most school will publish a yearbook annually with the all the names and pictures of their students and faculty members. They will also list all the clubs, sports teams, and extracurricular activities, and typically include a recap of the biggest new stories from that time. Traditionally you get your friends and favorite teachers to sign your yearbook and write you a little message. Then you stash it away and forget about it for a few years until you open it one night when you’re feeling a little nostalgic. You’ll end up regretting it. You’ll feel guilty about forgotten friendships. You’ll mourn old friends who have passed away. You’ll see how young you once were and that always makes you feel old. The older the yearbook is, the more it will make you cringe. It’s fun to reminisce but you can’t help but notice how awkward you were.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Whiteboard

Whiteboards (or dry-erase boards) are a gift from God. In the old days schools around the world had to rely on chalk and chalkboards for lesson plans. Chalk is dirty, dusty, and fucking boring, and chalkboards are a bitch to clean. Now most classrooms have a big ass whiteboard. It’s easier to clean, and you can buy markers in all the colors of the rainbow to jazz up the lesson plan and make learning more fun. Before whiteboards you would have to rely on corkboards or Post-its to pass along passive aggressive notes to your roommates. Now you can scribble out a message and erase it if it’s too harsh. Or you can add some choice swearwords if it’s too nice. It doesn’t matter if the whiteboard is in a classroom, at home, or in the office… eventually some idiot will use a Sharpie instead of dry-erase marker on the board. It’s inevitable. The next time you walk past a whiteboard, I hope that you take a moment to appreciate it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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