Tag Archives: apple

New Phone

I’ve been using the same iPhone 4 since late October of 2010. I’ve had that phone with me every single day of my life for more five years straight. I woke up today and decided to change that. I had the day off so I went downtown to the Apple Store, I walked in, went up to the first employee I saw available, and told him I wanted a Space Gray 64GB iPhone 6s. Flash-forward forty-five minutes and I was walking out the door with a brand new iPhone complete with an Otterbox case for protection. I’ve spent the last few hours syncing it up to my computer and transferring music, photos, movies, and apps while simultaneously doing laundry. It’s a very exciting and productive time to be me right now. It’s 2016. New year, new phone. I’m pretty stoke that I haven’t dropped it yet.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

iphone6-gray-select-2014_GEO_US

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Jobs

Jobs is a 2013 biopic based on the life of Steve Jobs. If you don’t know who Steve Jobs is, look him up on your iPhone, iPad, or iMac. It was directed by Joshua Michael Stern and stars Ashton Kutcher as the titular character. The film doesn’t show his whole life. It starts with his college days in 1974 and continues through the introduction of the iPod in 2001. He died in 2011, so the movie leaves out a lot of important stuff. How can you make a movie about Steve Jobs and completely omit the iPhone and the iPad?!? Not only that, but the movie twists a lot of facts and manages to make an interesting man seem boring.

Ashton Kutcher delivers a decent performance as Jobs, but he’s not given much to work with. The script is boring. The whole movie falls flat. I’d much rather watch a documentary about Steve Jobs. At least facts would be more accurate and the drama would be realistic. This movie is a by-the-numbers biopic. It’s formulaic and fails because Steve Jobs didn’t follow a formula. He followed his gut. And really, no mention whatsover of iPhones or iPads or the last ten years of his life? Steve Jobs had an amazing life and career. This film is a terrible, shoddy tribute to his memory.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

JOBSposter

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Filed under Entertainment

The Core Is a Myth

I’m a fan of life hacks, those nifty little tricks that make you better at life. Like did you know that you were eating apples wrong your whole life? You probably take an apple, bite into the side of it, and work your way around until all you have left is the apple core. But that’s the wrong way to do it because the core is a myth. There is no core. Only seeds. And you can spit those out. You can eat the entire apple, save for the stem. Seriously. Watch the video below if you don’t believe me. Try it for yourself to verify. The core is a myth. You’ll never look at an apple the same way again.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Snacks

Ocean Spray 100% Pineapple Peach Mango Juice Blend

Ocean Spray is primarily known for their cranberries and cranberry juices. But they’ve delved into other juice blends too. Juice blends like Pineapple Peach Mango. It’s a refreshing tropical juice medley made with pineapple juice concentrate, mango juice concentrate, peach puree concentrate, apple juice concentrate, and grape juice concentrate. That’s five concentrated fruits, which makes for a very focused juice. Ocean Spray 100% Pineapple Peach Mango Juice Blend is a solid alternative to orange juice. It’s a great breakfast beverage, especially on a hot day. It would also make a pretty good mixer for gin or vodka. Alcohol makes everything better.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks

Naked Peach Guava + Coconut Water

Naked makes all natural fruit juices, made with 100% juice and no sugar added. It’s healthy and delicious, not to mention it’s also gluten free, has no preservatives, and is vegan. But I don’t care about all the health bullshit, I care if it tastes good or not. And it tastes good. I got the Peach Guava + Coconut Water blend. It has ¾ of a peach, ¾ of a guava, ½ of a coconut’s water, 1/3 of a mango, ¾ of an orange, and ¾ of an apple. The peach, guava, and mango makes it tastes tropical, the coconut water gets kind of muted, but it makes the medley more refreshing. And it’s fun to say that I got Naked at the store. Or that I got Naked with your mom and she swallowed my sweet sticky juice. I can keep going with this. There’s nothing wrong with getting Naked. You should get Naked too and see what all the fuss is about. Everyone should get Naked and we can have a huge Naked party.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Wrong Earbud

Lots of people have iPhones and iPods because Apple has taken over the world. So you see lots of people rocking those iconic white headphones. You might have noticed that they have an L and an R on each ear bud so you know which ear to stick them in. The L bud goes in your left ear. The R bud goes in your right ear. It’s a pretty simple concept but some people don’t get it. Maybe they don’t want to conform (but then they wouldn’t have an iPhone). Maybe they are just really lazy or super ignorant. They look pretty retarded either way. And it’s pathetic not being able to listen to music right.  Apple products are expensive and trendy so you want to show them off. Wearing your headphones wrong is like buying a designer shirt and wearing it inside out. You’re telling everyone that you can afford it but don’t deserve it. I might not ever learn your name but I already know that I despise you.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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An iPhone with a Cracked Screen

An iPhone with a cracked screen is like a dead dog on the freeway. It doesn’t matter if it’s not your dog, you still feel sad when you see it. An iPhone is a work of art, it is a sexy piece of technology, and a cracked screen can make it an ugly paperweight. Some people use a cracked screen as an opportunity to upgrade and buy a new phone. Some people use their insurance to get a replacement model. Some people embrace the crack and treat it like it’s a badge of honor. And some people have to borrow their little sister’s old Nokia. Life’s not fair.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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