Tag Archives: cards

Playing Cards

 Everybody should have a set of playing cards. I’m talking about your standard fifty-two card deck. You know, Ace through King… Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds and Spades… Don’t forget the pair of Jokers. You can never be truly bored if you have cards. There are thousands of card games with a million variations. You can play Poker, Blackjack, Crazy Eights, Spoons, War, Bullshit, or Bridge with friends and family as a source of entertainment anytime and anyplace when you have a deck of cards. And you can always play Solitaire if you have no friends. Not a fan of games? You can also use cards for magic tricks. Do a solid card trick in front of a drunk crowd and blow their minds. I’m sure you’ll impress the ladies. Chicks dig magicians. If you don’t have a deck of cards in your house, you should. If you don’t have a house, that fucking sucks but maybe a deck of cards will help take your mind off of it. Playing cards. Get on it.

 Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Adventure Day Backpack

I have an adventure day backpack. It’s the backpack that I always take to the beach or park. I’ll also bring it when I go hiking or camping or on a random day trip. I keep a few essentials in the bag at all times. There’s a lighter and a bottle opener so I’m always ready to party. There’s a bottle of hand sanitizer because it’s a nice gesture to clean your hands after you piss in public. I have a tube of Carmex lip balm to protect my lips. I have big lips, I need to protect them. There’s a multi-tool that my sister gave me with a knife, screwdriver, saw, can opener. There’s a stash of Band-Aids because shit happens. That’s just the pockets.

Open it up, and there are two baseball gloves and a ball, so I can have a catch wherever and whenever. There’s a Nerf football and a Frisbee if I want to play catch with something else. There’s a cribbage board so I can play cribbage if I want to play cribbage. There’s a deck of cards because you can’t play cribbage without a deck of cards. There’s also an UNO deck so I can play UNO and you can’t play UNO with regular cards. Crazy Eights just isn’t the same. There’s a beach towel so I can sit down at the beach. It also works just as well at the park. There used to be Bluetooth speakers too, but they broke. My birthday is coming up. I could use some speakers. Just saying.

I’m quite fond of my adventure day backpack. We’ve had a lot of good times together. I hope we have a lot more. Everyone should have a designated adventure day backpack. Everyone should go on adventures. Live life. That’s what I say, that’s what I do. Having an adventure day backpack makes it easier.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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UNO (game, not the numero)

UNO is a card game similar to Crazy Eights, but you use a specially printed deck of UNO cards instead of using a regular deck of cards, because the creators wouldn’t make money if you played UNO with a regular deck of cards instead of their unique cards. UNO is pretty easy to learn. Everyone gets dealt seven cards and you try to be the first one to get rid of them all. There are a bunch of rules that some people follow and some people ignore, but one thing everyone can agree on is that you have to say “UNO” when you play your second-to-last card so that everyone else knows that you have one card left. I think that’s why they call it UNO but I’m not really sure.

I was inspired to write this post after playing UNO with a couple of friends. One of them had never played before, but we explained him the rules and he was kicking our ass a few games in. He won three or four games in a row. We chalked it up to beginner’s luck. A week later he drunkenly confessed that he cheated. It was completely out of the blue, like he was proud of cheating and wanted us to know. Don’t be that guy. Don’t be the guy who cheats at UNO. Especially not during a friendly game when there are no stakes. That’s not how you make friends. That’s how you lose them.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Same Hand, Just Different Cards

As I’ve mentioned previously and multiple times, I play cards with my roommate on a regular basis. We were playing Cribbage the other night and we were counting out our points. We both scored six points. My roommate quipped, “Same hand, just different cards.” I instantly repeated it. Same hand, just different cards. I like that. It goes way beyond card games. It’s philosophical and it sounds good. It’s bumper sticker-worthy. Maybe some plucky teenager will use it as their senior quote in the yearbook. I would if I had a time machine. I’m still working on that. Sorry. I got distracted by time machines again. That happens. I’m back now. Same hand, just different cards is a great statement. I want it to be an actual expression, so please feel free to use it. Sprinkle it into your next conversation at a fancy cocktail party and see where it takes you.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Cribbage

Cribbage is a card game, one of the best card games in fact. All you need is a deck of cards, a cribbage board, cribbage pegs, and somebody to play with. It’s traditionally a two-person game, but you can play with more if necessary. There are a lot of rules and I tried writing them out but it was too instructional and not entertaining enough to keep anybody’s attention. I’m just going to talk about how cool the game is.

Cribbage is cool because there are multiple ways to score. You’re looking for runs, pairs, flushes, straights, and cards that add up to fifteen. You count the points in your hand, and you also play off the other person’s hand and can get more points that way. The dealer has an advantage because he gets an extra four cards in his crib so he can potentially get even more points. You can have a shitty hand but still make a lot of points by outplaying your opponent. Getting points from playing off your opponent’s hand is known as pegging. You’re trying to outpeg the other guy. I’m really good at pegging. I’ve dubbed myself the Pegasaurus. You can even play Muggins, where you steal points from your opponent if he forgets to count them.

You keep track of the score by moving your pegs around the cribbage board and the first player to get to a hundred and twenty-one points wins the game. Cribbage is usually played tournament style. You play to win two out of three games or five out of seven. If you lose by thirty points you got skunked. If you lose by sixty points you got double-skunked. It’s called skunked because you stink.

Cribbage is intimidating to learn. There are a lot of rules and there’s a lot of math. I wouldn’t recommend trying to learn while under the influence. After a while you start to see patterns and which cards work well together and you’ll be able to count your points at a glance. Cribbage is kind of an old person’s game too. Not many youngins know how to play it anymore, but I guarantee that your grandparents know how to play. They probably know all the cribbage lingo and sayings like, “Fifteen two, and the rest won’t do” and “Fifteen two, fifteen four, and the rest won’t score.” That’s right, cribbage has its own phrases. How intrigued are you now? I bet very. You should learn. I’ll teach you.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

TWENTY-NINE---highest-cribbage-hand-50660f71d724e_hires

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Helping Someone Play Solitaire

I don’t know what it is about watching someone play solitaire, but you feel compelled to hover over their shoulder and point out that the 6 of clubs can go on the 7 of hearts. Everybody is guilty of this at some point. You feel like you’re helping, but you’re really annoying them. You forget about how much it bugs you when someone else does it to you when you’re playing solitaire. We are all hypocrites at heart. Helping someone play solitaire is proof. Sometimes you’re actually helping them though. It’s not always easy to spot the obvious move. They will tell you to shut up and leave them alone, but as soon as you walk away they will take your advice and move the 6 of clubs to the 7 of hearts and silently thank you.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Poker Night

Girls get together and go to brunch. Guys get together and have a poker night. Mimosas and cantaloupe are nice and all, but I prefer beer and gambling. Someone volunteers their house, a few guys bring poker sets, and everyone else brings booze and snacks. You decide on a game (you can’t go wrong with Texas hold’em), everyone puts in their cash and gets a stack of chips, and the next couple of hours are spent sitting around the table laughing, joking and occasionally crying. You feel great when you bluff your way to a big pot, you feel agony when you get a bad beat on the river, and you try to survive getting knocked out long enough to at least win your money back. Poker is kind of like Mario Kart: you can do everything right, be winning the whole time, and still lose when a random blue shell takes you out. That’s why I love it and that’s why I hate it. But poker nights are always fun.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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