Tag Archives: lighter

Adventure Day Backpack

I have an adventure day backpack. It’s the backpack that I always take to the beach or park. I’ll also bring it when I go hiking or camping or on a random day trip. I keep a few essentials in the bag at all times. There’s a lighter and a bottle opener so I’m always ready to party. There’s a bottle of hand sanitizer because it’s a nice gesture to clean your hands after you piss in public. I have a tube of Carmex lip balm to protect my lips. I have big lips, I need to protect them. There’s a multi-tool that my sister gave me with a knife, screwdriver, saw, can opener. There’s a stash of Band-Aids because shit happens. That’s just the pockets.

Open it up, and there are two baseball gloves and a ball, so I can have a catch wherever and whenever. There’s a Nerf football and a Frisbee if I want to play catch with something else. There’s a cribbage board so I can play cribbage if I want to play cribbage. There’s a deck of cards because you can’t play cribbage without a deck of cards. There’s also an UNO deck so I can play UNO and you can’t play UNO with regular cards. Crazy Eights just isn’t the same. There’s a beach towel so I can sit down at the beach. It also works just as well at the park. There used to be Bluetooth speakers too, but they broke. My birthday is coming up. I could use some speakers. Just saying.

I’m quite fond of my adventure day backpack. We’ve had a lot of good times together. I hope we have a lot more. Everyone should have a designated adventure day backpack. Everyone should go on adventures. Live life. That’s what I say, that’s what I do. Having an adventure day backpack makes it easier.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Lighter Thief

I was smoking a bowl with some friends yesterday. There were about seven or eight of us passing a pipe around and taking turns packing it. We had a couple of lighters going around too. I saw my friend put a light blue lighter in his pocket and I thought it was mine. I told him that he took my lighter. He said it was his. I told him mine was light blue with a couple of chips from opening up beer bottles at the bottom. He took the lighter out of his pocket to show me. It was light blue but without any chips from opening beer bottles at the bottom. It wasn’t mine. I apologized but declared a Pocket Check and told everyone to empty out their pockets. I pulled out my pockets to demonstrate and pulled out a light blue lighter with chips from opening beer bottles at the bottom. Fuck me. Everyone started laughing at me. I deserved it. I knew it. I hate when I turn out to be my own lighter thief.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Caution-Lighter-Thief-Tshirt-Logo

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Zippo

A Zippo is a name brand metallic lighter. It’s famous for being windproof and reusable. It’s not really windproof, but it will typically ignite even if there’s a gust of wind. I can spark it when I’m walking or riding my skateboard (and that’s pretty impressive). A regular BIC lighter wouldn’t do that. A BIC lighter is cheap, plastic, and disposable. But Zippos are for life. You just have to refill the fluid every few weeks and change the wick and the flint every so often. Zippos are a popular collectible/souvenir. They have thousands of different designs and colors, but they all distinctly Zippos. You can tell a Zippo by its shape, metal design, and solid construction. The sound of a Zippo is as recognizable as it’s shape. The lid is on a hinge that opens and closes with a satisfying clink. Zippos are fun to play with. There are a bunch of tricks for sparking them, and you look like a badass when you pull it off cleanly. Zippos are best used for lighting cigars and cigarettes. I wouldn’t recommend it for smoking weed. You can taste the lighter fuel and it’s not pleasant.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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You Gotta Keep an Eye on Your Lighter

There’s an endless debate between people who just smoke weed and people who just smoke cigarettes about which is better. One thing that they can both agree on is that you gotta keep an eye on your lighter. People will ask for a light and slip it in their pocket without even realizing it. It’s your lighter, you have to stay vigilant and know who borrowed it last. That thing can start a forest fire, you have to be responsible for it.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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BIC Lighter

The classic disposable BIC lighter is the best lighter for your money. Fuck off Zippo. Just do a slight customization and get rid of that annoying child safety thing, and you have a perfect lighter. There is a decent amount of lighter fluid that makes your BIC last for relatively long time. Buy the six pack and you wont have to worry about someone jacking your lighter every third session. Lots of available colors and prints.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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Mini BIC Lighter

The classic BIC disposable lighter gets miniaturized in an utterly useless attempt to capture that iPod Nano magic. BIC lighters are already small and portable. Do you really need a smaller version of a small thing? This is why people hate Americans.

Critically Rated at 3/17

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