Tag Archives: car

November 29, 2015 · 3:14 pm

Driving Next to a Bad Driver

I went on a mini road trip over the weekend to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I got a ride with my sister and her fiancé. We hit some light traffic on the freeway, and that’s when my sister pointed out a blue sedan that was driving erratically. He would speed up rapidly on the car in front of him, then slam on his brakes to avoid ramming into them, and then he would repeat the process. It was like he had one foot on the gas, the other on the brake, and he was trying to do a stair-climbing exercise. He would also take up his whole lane, slowly swerving from line to line and only adjusting when he started hitting the little bumpy divider thingies. He was a menace to all the cars around him. We couldn’t tell if he was drunk or just a bad driver, but we were stuck in his vicinity for the next four or five miles thanks to the slight traffic jam. We didn’t want to be near him so we would switch lanes and try to avoid him but he always managed to pop up out of nowhere. Driving next to a bad driver is a nerve-racking experience. You start to think about all the Final Destination-type ways that you can die. Most of the time you survive. Maybe one time you won’t be so lucky.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 15, 2015 · 3:22 pm

Washing Your Car After It Rains

It rained earlier this morning. I didn’t have to work so I slept in and lied in bed listening to the raindrops patter against the window. After a while I rolled out of bed, and started my day by driving to the store to pick up some stuff. I drove past a guy who was washing his car in his driveway. I had to do a double take. I looked again and confirmed that he was indeed washing his car after a fresh rain. I wanted to stop and ask him why he was washing it. Washing your car after it rains seems a little redundant. You don’t need to wash your car, nature took care of that for you. Now you’re just wasting water in the middle of a drought. I thought he was a jerk and set out to write a blog post about how stupid it is to wash your car after it rains. I Googled “washing your car after it rains” to find pictures and to do a little research for an adequate rant and discovered that washing your car after it rains is what you’re supposed to do. It’s good for the paint because rainwater has salt and pollutants in it or something. I didn’t know that. Now I do. I learned my lesson. You’re not crazy if you’re washing your car after it rains. You’re responsible and I’m sorry I doubted you. I still think it weird though.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 8, 2015 · 5:23 pm

Neighborhood Mechanic

My car broke down earlier this week. My roommate and I tried to jumpstart it. That didn’t work. My friend took me to an auto parts store to buy a new battery. We took it back, installed it, and my car still wouldn’t start. I accepted the inevitable and made an appointment with a nearby mechanic. I don’t know a lot about cars, but I knew that it was going to cost me a lot of money. I would have to pay to get it towed to the mechanic, I would have to pay for a stupid part, and I would have to pay a bullshit amount for the labor. Needless to say, I was stressing out.

The next day was street cleaning and my car was parked directly in the line of fire. My roommate helped me push my car across the street to avoid getting a ticket, and we spent the next hour and a half hunkered down in my car waiting for the street sweeper and the meter maids to go by so I could reclaim my parking spot. While we were waiting we noticed one of our neighbors working on a car and my roommate commented that he always sees that guy working on different cars all day long. My roommate went over to the guy and struck up a conversation. Before I knew it they were walking towards me and the guy told me to spark the ignition. I did and he instantly said that I have a faulty distributor. He told me to pop the hood and he took a look. He pointed out the problem, told me how much the part would be, and offered to order it off eBay and install it for me.

He gave me his number, I gave him a spare key, and he told me he would let me know when my car was fixed. He kept me updated all throughout the week. He told me when he ordered the part. He told me when it arrived. He told me when he was starting to work on it. And he told me when he was done. He even saved a parking spot for me to move back into. All told, I spent about $220 for parts and he charged me $70 for labor. I gave him a tip on top of it because how could I not?

It sucks that my car broke down, but it broke down in the best possible place at the best possible time because I got to meet the neighborhood mechanic. He saved me at least five hundred bucks. He’s now my official mechanic. It’s hard to find someone that you can trust and rely on, but good mechanics are out there. You just have to hope your car breaks down in front of them.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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May 5, 2015 · 1:14 pm

Road Trip

A road trip is a trip in which you drive a vehicle a long distance, typically from Point A to Point B. It takes a lot longer than flying, but it’s a whole lot faster than walking. I just went on a road trip over the weekend for a wedding in San Diego. It took me a little less than nine hours to drive the five hundred plus miles from San Francisco. It would have been less than eight hours but Los Angeles is a traffic cesspool.

That was my first road trip in a couple of years. It’s a lot easier to go on road trips when you actually have a car. It wasn’t a bad drive, but I was driving solo so I got a little bored from time to time. I definitely went a little crazy. I know that I was talking to myself and splashing cold water on my face to keep from drifting off the road. It didn’t help that I was driving on the I-5, which is one of the most boring interstates in California. There’s no scenery and practically no landmarks (the one exception being the massive cow slaughtering house that reeks of death for miles around).

When you driving down the same stretch of highway for hundreds of miles, you make friends. They aren’t really friends, they are simply other cars, trucks, and busses that are keeping the same pace as you. Every now and then you pull off to get some gas, go to the bathroom, and stretch out your legs. Then you jump back out on the road and try to catch up to them again. I also like to use fast moving trucks or busses as mobile reference points. I followed a giant purple tour bus like a minnow for over seventy miles because the driver was cruising at 85 mph. I figured that he would be the one to get a ticket if any cops saw us speeding.

I have a few tips for a successful road trip. First off, make sure your car is up to the task. Make sure the oil is changed, the tires are ok, and that you have a full tank of gas. Nothing sucks out the momentum from hitting the road like needing to get gas twenty minutes into the trip. Also make sure that you have drinks and snacks. You can’t go wrong with a bag of trail mix and some beef jerky. For drinks, I’d recommend some energy drinks to keep you awake and a few bottles of cold water. I like to freeze a couple of bottles the night before so they stay as cold as possible. Every now and then I’ll splash water on my face when the energy drinks aren’t enough. And make sure you have music or a podcast or something to listen to. It helps to break up the monotony.

Road trips are fun. Flying saves you a lot of time, but driving is how you really discover things.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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April 23, 2015 · 6:12 pm

Renewing Your License at the DMV

I had the day off today. I didn’t do anything fun though. I had to renew my license at the DMV. I made an appointment a few weeks ago, but that didn’t save me much time. I got to the DMV a half hour before my scheduled appointment. I waited in the line for people with appointments for about fifteen minutes just so the DMV guy could give me a number and tell me to wait until they call it. I found a chair and waited for about ten minutes. Then they called my number, I went to a window, and the DMV lady went over my paperwork. Then I had to take a vision test. I have terrible Asian eyesight, so that was pretty nerve-wracking. I did ok with both eyes, but everything went blurry when I had to cover my left eye. I thought I would fail right then and there, but I wasn’t as blind in my other eye. My vision was good enough for me to pass. That’s kind of scary. It makes me wonder how many blind drivers there are on the road. After I eeked out my narrow vision victory they took a copy of my thumbprint. Then I had to pay thirty-three bucks because that’s how much renewing your license costs. Then I had to wait in another line to get my picture taken. That line took the longest. It was only five people deep but it took about thirty-five minutes for me to get to the front. It only took about forty-five seconds for them to take my picture. I don’t know why it took so long. Renewing your license at the DMV sucks. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about it again for another ten years or so.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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April 9, 2015 · 9:59 pm

Driving with a Mattress Strapped to the Roof

You don’t know true fear until you’ve gone driving with a mattress strapped to the roof. I was unlucky enough to experience this last week. I had to move my mattress and bed frame six miles across town. It wasn’t easy. I used bungie cords to hold the mattress and frame together, then I tied it to the roof of my friend’s SUV. We mostly drove along surface streets but there was a two-mile stretch on the highway and it was a particularly windy day. It was terrifying. I felt compelled to lean out the window and hold it down with one hand while steering the car with the other. It was not fun and my arm went numb. I felt bad for the guy stuck behind me. He looked even more scared than I was. I made it to my destination with everything in tact, but I gained a few new gray hairs in the process. Driving with a mattress strapped to the roof sucks. Next time I think I will splurge for the U-haul.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

  

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March 18, 2015 · 2:41 pm

Forgetting Where You Parked Your Car and Thinking It Got Stolen

I have a car but I don’t drive it very often. I pretty much only drive it when I have to go to the store or to move it for street cleaning. I forgot about the street cleaning last week until the last minute but I was able to move my car in time. Unfortunately I had to park it on a different street because all the spots were taken on mine. This morning I went to find my car and move it back to my street. I walked to where I thought I left it and it wasn’t there. I kept on walking, hoping it was just a little bit up ahead. It still wasn’t there. I started panicking a little bit. Where did I park it? Did somebody steal it? Was this the start of weeks on the phone battling the insurance company? Forgetting where you parked your car and thinking it got stolen is an unsettling feeling. You can’t help but feel that the universe has it in for you, that it’s out to get you. All you can do in that situation is keep on walking and looking for your car. That’s what I did. I kept on walking. Eventually I found my car. It just wasn’t where I remembered parking it. I felt a little stupid and a lot of relief. Nobody stole it (this time at least). Next time I will take pictures of where I park it and mark the GPS on my phone. It will be more work but less stress later on.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 11, 2015 · 12:53 pm

A New Used Car

I got a new used car. It’s a 2000 Honda Civic. It was a family car, the same car I drove in high school. I learned how to drive stick on that car. So did a lot of my friends too. That car got around like Paris Hilton at a frat party. My little sister ended up with the car after everyone went to college and moved away from home. It was stolen in front of her house, she got a new car, and then they found her Civic. She didn’t need two cars so she offered it to me. I accepted, because I learned a long time ago that you don’t turn down free food or free vehicles. So now I have the same car that I practically lived in twelve years ago. It’s like driving a memory. Hell, it is driving a memory. I had so many adventures in that car. It’s crazy to think that I get to create more now. I can’t wait.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 3, 2014 · 10:19 pm

Spare Tire

A spare tire is an extra tire that you keep in your trunk in case your vehicle gets a flat tire. Sometimes it’s a full-sized tire and sometimes it’s a smaller tire designed for temporary use until you get a new one. I remember the first time I changed a spare tire. I was in a mall parking lot searching for my friend’s car when we noticed a couple of pretty blondes with a flat. We walked over to help (and make small talk). I raised the car on the jack, and my friend and I took turns removing the lug nuts. We put on the new tire, tightened it up, and double-checked each nut to make sure it wouldn’t fall off. They had the smaller spare tire, the kind that’s only good for about fifty miles so we told them to go slow, be careful, and go to a mechanic as soon as possible. I mentioned to my friend later on that it was the first time I ever changed a tire and that I was glad he was there to guide me through it. He said he thought I was showing him how to do it and that he never changed a tire before either. They got home ok. I think. Fingers crossed. I’ve changed a few tires since then and everybody’s survived so I have a pretty good track record no matter what.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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June 12, 2014 · 8:11 am

Looking For Parking

I live in a city where you don’t need a car to get around. Driving a car in my city becomes a hassle. You have to deal with traffic, street cleaning, vandals, tickets, and looking for parking. Looking for parking is the worst thing about driving in the city. It only takes ten minutes to drive from Point A to Point B, but you’ll spend twenty minutes creeping up and down side streets and alleyways at seven miles per hour trying to find a spot. You finally find a spot and park, and only then will you notice that the curb is painted red and you’re right next to a fire hydrant. Or you can only park there on the second Wednesday of each month. Or you have to have a Residential Permit to park there. So you scream and bash your head into the steering wheel out of frustration and continue on your quest in search of parking. Another twenty minutes go by until you finally give up and pay twenty bucks to park it in a lot somewhere. Fuck that. Next time you’ll just take the bus.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 14, 2013 · 8:40 am

Stop Sign

A stop sign is a traffic sign that tells you when to stop. They are red, octagonal, and are typically found at intersections. You need to stop when you approach a stop sign, unless you want to get a ticket. You have to come to a complete spot and yield to pedestrians and to the cars that have the right of way. Just be mindful of bikers and skaters because they think stop signs are optional and they might dent your car if you run into them. Sometimes stop signs get stolen (mostly by bored teenaged stoners, because they are shiny and stoners like shiny things. Trust me, I know from experience. I happen to have a stolen stop sign on the wall in my room for decoration. I’m only admitting it because I stole it ten years ago and I’m pretty sure the statue of limitations has kicked in. I took it from a construction zone, not from a busy intersection, so I didn’t endanger any drivers. It was pretty much the perfect crime and it’s a conversation starter, so I’m glad that I took it. And it’s proof that I was a badass in my younger days.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

 

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November 7, 2013 · 10:44 am

Speeding Up At a Yellow Light

You’re driving along and you’re approaching an intersection with a traffic light. A green light means that you can go. A red light means that you have to stop. A yellow light means that the light is about the change to red. And instead of slowing down, you speed up. There’s no way in hell that you’re going to be stuck at the light Speeding up at a yellow light is not only acceptable, it’s expected. Drivers have been speeding up at yellow lights for as long as there have been yellow lights to speed through. As long as there have been traffic lights, there are been impromptu road races whenever the yellow light makes an appearance. It’s an annoying practice that predates ignoring your turn signals and not checking the rearview mirror.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 6, 2013 · 8:57 am

It’s Not Illegally Parking If Someone Stays In the Car

Have you ever noticed that it’s perfectly ok to double park or park in a handicap spot without a placard if someone stays in the car? I’m pretty sure it’s still not legal to do that, but most cops will look the other way if someone stays in the car. It’s proof that you’re there temporarily and that you’ll be leaving in a minute. It might be a bit of an inconvenience to other drivers, but they do it too. Only the surliest of drivers will honk at you and scream at you to move your car. Don’t give in to assholes though… give them the finger and tell them to fuck off. And stay in your spot. Remember: it’s not illegally parking if someone stays in the car. Leave your baby in the backseat the next time you go grocery shopping and save yourself the hassle of searching for a spot.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 31, 2013 · 8:58 am

Parking Spot

A parking spot is a spot where you park your car. You usually find parking spots in garages, parking lots, and on the side of the road. A parking spot is a precious commodity, especially in a big city. Drivers will go through great lengths to find a good parking spot. A driver might circle the same two blocks for forty-five minutes in a futile attempt to find a spot. A good parking spot is something to fight over. It’s not uncommon for two frustrated drivers to start yelling or throw fists over a few feet of asphalt. Earlier today I went to the neighborhood mom and pop shop to buy some groceries. The cashier greeted me when I walked in, I walked around and gathered my items, but she was gone when I went to pay. I wondered where she disappeared to and then she came running in from the street, apologizing and explaining that she saw a good parking spot open up outside and she had to take it. Perfectly understandable. Parking spots are like opportunities… you have to take them when you can.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 15, 2013 · 12:10 pm

Driving While Being Zoned Out

You’re driving home from work. It’s getting late and you’re really tired. You see the street signs and street signs slowly rolling by but none of them register. All you can think about is crashing on your couch and watching a movie before bed. Then all of a sudden you shake your head and snap back to reality. You realize that you were just driving while being zoned out. You realize that you have no recollection of the last five minutes. Even though you were driving, you were just a passenger. You weren’t paying attention to the road or any other cars, you were just cruising. Consider yourself lucky that you didn’t run over any cats or pedestrians or crash into a median. Lots of people are able to drive while being zoned out. It’s kind of crazy how half of you brain can shut down but your body can still function and react to things you aren’t aware of. Maybe we should let our subconscious have more control of our day-to-day lives.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 5, 2013 · 10:45 am

Courtesy Wave

There are a lot of aggressive drivers on the road these days. You see a lot of people cutting off other cars, following too closely, neglecting their turn signals, and planting the seeds for a road rage tree. There are a lot of dick moves that you can pull that will piss off other drivers. If you cut someone off or almost crash into them, you can erase the tension with a simple courtesy wave. The courtesy wave is an easy way to say sorry for being an asshole or show your appreciation for an act of kindness. That simple hand gesture can save your life, especially if you’re driving in Los Angeles. If someone lets you back out of parking spot during rush hour, you better give them a courtesy wave. The courtesy wave is not an excuse to drive like an asshole, it’s a way to let other drivers know you’re sorry for driving like one.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 26, 2013 · 8:51 am

Watching Someone Fail at Parking

I live in San Francisco and parking spaces are hard to come by. It’s not uncommon to see two or three cars fighting for a single spot. So you have to be able to park if you’re gonna drive in the city. And if you can’t parallel park then you can’t park at all. You can always spot a tourist based on how long it takes them to park. Watching someone fail at parking would be the ultimate reality show. Each futile attempt becomes increasingly sloppy, and you would see the driver’s frustration rising and exploding into rage. At a certain point it stops being entertainment and you start to feel bad for the driver. It’s like watching a goldfish flopping on the ground next to its tank. You want to plop the little guy back in his bowl, just like you wanna go over and park the car for him. But you have to refrain yourself from helping him. If you can’t park, then you can’t drive, and if you can’t drive you shouldn’t own a fucking car. You shouldn’t help goldfish park, sometimes you just gotta let those fuckers flop around.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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