Tag Archives: backpack

Adventure Day Backpack

I have an adventure day backpack. It’s the backpack that I always take to the beach or park. I’ll also bring it when I go hiking or camping or on a random day trip. I keep a few essentials in the bag at all times. There’s a lighter and a bottle opener so I’m always ready to party. There’s a bottle of hand sanitizer because it’s a nice gesture to clean your hands after you piss in public. I have a tube of Carmex lip balm to protect my lips. I have big lips, I need to protect them. There’s a multi-tool that my sister gave me with a knife, screwdriver, saw, can opener. There’s a stash of Band-Aids because shit happens. That’s just the pockets.

Open it up, and there are two baseball gloves and a ball, so I can have a catch wherever and whenever. There’s a Nerf football and a Frisbee if I want to play catch with something else. There’s a cribbage board so I can play cribbage if I want to play cribbage. There’s a deck of cards because you can’t play cribbage without a deck of cards. There’s also an UNO deck so I can play UNO and you can’t play UNO with regular cards. Crazy Eights just isn’t the same. There’s a beach towel so I can sit down at the beach. It also works just as well at the park. There used to be Bluetooth speakers too, but they broke. My birthday is coming up. I could use some speakers. Just saying.

I’m quite fond of my adventure day backpack. We’ve had a lot of good times together. I hope we have a lot more. Everyone should have a designated adventure day backpack. Everyone should go on adventures. Live life. That’s what I say, that’s what I do. Having an adventure day backpack makes it easier.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

dakine-campus-lg-backpack-reverse

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Designated Backpacks

I’m a firm believer of designated backpacks. I have four backpacks and use them for different things. One is my work bag, which has all the stuff I need for everyday activities, I have a park/beach bag which contains speakers, a baseball glove, a few baseballs, a tennis ball, a Nerf football, a frisbee, and a stack of red keg cups. I have my traveling bag to take on mini vacations and overnight stays. And I have a backup bag. I don’t know what to do with it yet. Maybe I should store my other backpacks in it. Having designated bags makes life easier, especially when it comes to your work/everyday bag. You’ll never forget your work stuff if it’s always in the same bag. Its only when you take out work stuff to make room for a frisbee that you fuck yourself over. Don’t fuck yourself over. Use designated backpacks.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

  

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Packing Your Bag For A Festival

Last week I went to the Outside Lands festival in San Francisco. It was my fifth time in six years, so I knew what to expect and I came prepared. Packing your bag for a festival is an extremely vital step for an enjoyable weekend. The more supplied you are, the better the festival will be. Start by getting a decent sized backpack with a few different compartments. The biggest compartment is reserved for a beach towel or blanket to mark your spot, and it’s a good idea to throw in an extra jacket or hoodie in case it gets cold. The middle compartment is for food and drinks. And the smallest compartment is for small accessories like hand sanitizer and deodorant. Hand sanitizer goes a long way, especially at outdoor festivals that have a bunch of portapotties but no place to wash your hands. And deodorant is always nice to have, especially after hours of dancing and walking and baking underneath the hot sun. Sometimes I even include a small first aid kit, because you never know when your drunk ass will need a Band-Aid.

The food and drink compartment is the most important. You want to avoid buying food and drinks inside. The lines are too long and the prices are too high. I usually buy a bunch of mini liquor bottles (the kind they serve on planes) and I wrap them up in black socks and drop them in the bottom of the bag. Then I get beef jerky, trail mix, a few granola bars, maybe a sandwich, and some candy and throw those on top of the socked-up liquor bottles. They won’t be able to find your booze if you do it right. If they open your bag, they will just see a bunch of random snacks. Even if they take out the snacks, they won’t spot the liquor because it’s hard to see small black bundles on the bottom of a black bag. I’ll also buy a bottle of vodka and Gatorade and make some Faderade to take in. It looks just like Gatorade, so they probably wont confiscate it. If you make it the night before and stick it in the freezer, you’ll have an ice cold Faderade that will also turn the middle compartment into a cooler. I’ll usually bring in a few bottles of Coke for a caffeine boost and as a chaser for the mini liquor bottles.

If you want to smoke, I suggest that you roll a couple of joints or blunts and put them in a small container to keep them from getting squished or broken. They are easier to light, and it’s more convenient than packing a bowl. And when they start playing your favorite song, you just have to whip it out and spark it and you don’t have to fumble around. Properly packing your bag for a festival will make your weekend better. I spent three days at Outside Lands and didn’t spend a dime on booze or food at any of the vendors. Everything that I needed was in my bag. I was never uncomfortable, I was never hungry, and I was never sober. And I consider that a victory.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Wearing a Backpack in a Crowded Area

A backpack is a great way to bring a bunch of shit with you. It stays on your shoulders and back so you have your hands free to eat a muffin and use your phone. A lot of people have backpacks and a lot of people forget to take them off around other people. They take up twice as much space and don’t realize it. Wearing a backpack in a crowded area is a great way to make enemies. People seem to forget that they are wearing them and they constantly bump into people and knock things over. They are completely oblivious to how annoying and intrusive a bulging backpack can be. Be respectful and courteous to other people and take off your backpack, especially at a concert or on a crowded bus. Or I’ll punch you.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Breaking a Bottle of Beer in Your Backpack

I know that this seems like a really random topic, but it just happened to me at the liquor store. I bought a few tall boys and a couple of bottles, paid the cashier, stuffed the beer in my bag, and dropped it and broke the bottle before he even handed me my change. I knew I was fucked as soon as it hit the ground. I could hear my backpack filling up with beer as the other customers just stood around shaking their heads at me. I had to go outside and pour the beer out of my backpack into the sewage drain. Then I came back inside, collected my change, and sheepishly walked out holding my dripping backpack. Then I got to go home and give my backpack a good rinsing in the shower to get rid of the booze smell and pieces of glass. At least my other beers survived because I definitely needed a drink after that. Breaking a bottle of beer in your backpack is not fun. I wouldn’t recommend it.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinks

Walking Around With Your Backpack Open

You’re in kind of a rush, so you grab your shit and throw it into your backpack and run out the door. When you finally get to your destination and take off your backpack, you realize that it was unzipped the whole time and you were just lucky that you didn’t lose anything. Walking around with your backpack open is a weird feeling. You feel exposed and vulnerable and you wonder why no one said anything to warn you. It’s because people are assholes and they only pretend to be nice to their friends, they couldn’t care less about a douche walking around with his backpack open.

Critically Rated at 9/17

1 Comment

Filed under Random Rants

One-Strap Gap Backpacks

I remember doing back to school shopping with my mom a few days before I started high school. I remember thinking that I’m going to a brand new school, that I could start a brand new me. A cool new me. And a One-Strap Gap Backpack would set me apart; I would be cool and trendy and would stand out. I would soon find out that those backpacks suck. They can’t hold shit, they are uncomfortable, and there was nothing wrong with the old two-strap backpacks. That was way back in 1999. Right around the time as those dumb ergonomic keyboards that were supposed to change the world. No one uses those stupid things anymore. But I still see people with One-Strap Gap Backpacks. It’s quaint. It’s as close as a Californian comes to seeing Amish people.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants