Category Archives: Drinks

Beer, soda, and other fun fluids you put in your mouth.

April 17, 2013 · 10:29 am

Teas’ Tea Plus Half and Half Green Tea with Grape

Teas’ Tea Plus Half and Half Green Tea with Grape is a green tea beverage with a little grape juice added. They need to shorten the name; it takes longer to say it than it does to drink it. It comes in a 16.9 ounce bottle and each bottle has 100 calories. It’s also caffeinated, which is always a plus. It’s not really “Half and Half” either. That implies it’s half iced tea and half lemonade. This is half green iced tea and half natural grape flavors with other natural flavors. Doesn’t that sound delicious? It’s a kind of healthy drink, it claims to be all natural, there’s not too much added sugar, but it’s nothing spectacular. It’s not bad, there’s just nothing impressive about it. The flavor is kind of dull. It’s a very bland fruit-tea combination. I wouldn’t recommend it, but I wouldn’t bash you if I saw you drinking it.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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April 14, 2013 · 9:52 am

Gatorade Frost Glacier Cherry

There’s a new flavor of Gatorade out and it’s pretty exciting. Glacier Cherry is the newest member of the Gatorade Frost family. It has a cool name and a refreshing taste, but the coolest thing about it is the color. It’s white and it’s eye catching. It sticks out like a sore thumb on the display shelves. It’s very noticeable. It almost looks like watered down milk. It has a slightly muted cherry flavor, which is a good thing because you don’t want to chug cherry juice after your workout. It’s not the best flavor of Gatorade, but it’s worth getting if you see it at the store. Just be prepared to talk to random strangers about it. I had a few people come up and ask me where I got it. Nothing breaks the ice like Gatorade Frost Glacier Cherry.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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April 9, 2013 · 8:22 am

Buying a Round

Work sucked today, but at last your shift is over and you can finally retreat to the closest dive bar with some coworkers. You know that it’s going to take a few drinks to start recuperating, and you’ll show your commitment to the group by buying a round. Buying a round is like an informal contract for the group. If somebody buys a round, it’s only right to return the favor. Then somebody else has to buy the next round, and somebody else gets the round after that, and the cycle continues until closing time or when people start passing out. Drinking is a social lubricant and buying a round is like K-Y Jelly.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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April 1, 2013 · 10:49 am

Nantucket Nectars Pineapple Orange Guava

Nantucket Nectars Pineapple Orange Guava is a tropical fruit juice medley. It is a blend of pineapple, orange, and guava, and it also has apple, passionfruit and lemon juice, along with ascorbic acid and beta carotene (for flavor, as the label stresses). Sounds delicious and nutritious, huh? It has 100% of your required vitamin C intake and is 21% juice. That’s enough to fend off a cold. It makes a good mixer too. Nantucket is an island south of Cape Cod, Massachusetts. But Nantucket Nectars is based in Plano, Texas. I smell a conspiracy. All in all, it’s a pretty good juice but it’s not replacing Minute Maid anytime soon.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 31, 2013 · 11:03 am

Parrot Brand Pink Guava Juice

Parrot Brand Pink Guava Juice is the best guava juice that I’ve ever had. I’ve had Kern’s Guava Juice before and it was pretty good and another time I had a real guava, but from now on it’s Parrot Brand Pink Guava Juice for me. It comes in a tall 16.4 oz  can (485 mL for my European friends). It’s sweet, refreshing, and has no preservatives. It’s only 30% juice, but it’s sweetened with real sugar cane and not high fructose corn syrup. It’s a healthier alternative to soda and it gives your taste buds a flavor rush. I’m surprised guava juice isn’t as popular as coconut water or POM. It has the potential to be the next trendy After-Yoga-Treat.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 30, 2013 · 10:00 am

A Drink After Work

There’s nothing quite like grabbing a drink after work with some coworkers. You deal with so much bullshit all day long and a visit to the local bar is the best way to end a particularly stressful day. You can sip a beer and vent about all the lousy customers and lazy coworkers that you had to deal with during the shift. And your tension eases with every swallow. You work hard and you deserve to take a break before you go home. A drink after work is a godsend, a blessing. Never take it for granted, and never turn down a free round. You spend more time with your coworkers than your own family; you have to be able to get along with them. And booze brings people closer together. So celebrate each successful shift with a shot and a brew with a few fellow employees, bitch about shit, and repeat the process the next day.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 29, 2013 · 9:53 am

Don’t Go Down the Aisles at the Grocery Store

I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but Americans are fat. Not all of us, but more than half of us are, and that makes us a nation of fatties. There’s no denying it. It’s a fact. We are fat because we eat like shit. We eat processed foods and preservatives, we guzzle soda like it’s water, and we consider ketchup to be a vegetable. But there’s an easy solution to avoid getting thunder thighs or an extra chin: don’t go down the aisles at the grocery store. What a simple but brilliant concept. Think about it, everything that is bad for you is in the aisles: cookies, junk food, canned goods, TV dinners, soda, all that hoopla. But if you just stick to the perimeter you’ll get all the essentials like fresh veggies, fruit, bread, milk, cheese, eggs, meat, fish, and all the stuff that you really need. Hell, even beer, wine, and hard alcohol are usually around the perimeter… like I said, all the essentials. Avoiding the aisles is an easy way to eat healthy. Remember that the next time you go shopping.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 27, 2013 · 10:07 am

Arizona Cherry Lime Rickey

So I didn’t get the memo, but apparently Arizona Iced Tea had their big 20th Anniversary in 2012 and released a special drink in commemoration. There was a consumer contest to design the can and another one to come up with the flavor. It’s kind of weird how two people can win a contest and still be losers. Anyway, that’s how we ended up with the Arizona 20th Anniversary Cherry Lime Rickey, a sparkling cherry lime flavored beverage in a can that looks like it was designed by a New York hippie. It tastes good, but I would never drink it on a regular basis. Luckily I don’t even have to worry about it because it’s a limited release.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 26, 2013 · 10:36 am

Snapple Lightly Sweetened Cherry Pomegranate Tea

Lightly Sweetened Cherry Pomegranate Tea is one of the newest members of the Snapple flavor family. It’s almost a diet drink; it only has 80 calories and 18 grams of sugar. It also doesn’t have much flavor. It tastes like a watered down Snapple. And that’s probably what it is. They probably took one Snapple and poured it into 3 bottles and topped them off with water. If you buy a Cherry Pomegranate flavored drink, you want to be able to taste the Cherry Pomegranate when you drink it. And the flavor is way too subtle to justify a purchase. It’s a pretty disappointing beverage and not worth getting again.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 21, 2013 · 9:47 am

Stone Enjoy By 04.01.13 IPA

This might come as a surprise to you, but I like beer. I like IPAs and I like limited/seasonal beers. And so I could not pass up getting a beer called Enjoy By 04.01.13 IPA. They will take it off the shelves on April 2, 2013. It’s a great marketing ploy. It’s a beer with a time limit so you have to grab it while you can. It’s a refreshing India Pale Ale, it’s hoppy with citric notes, slightly malty and it’s fun to drink. The 9.4% alcohol content will leave your head buzzing pleasantly too. The label says it best: “There is no time better than right now to enjoy this beer,” and that’s the truth. Carpe Beerum, seize the brew.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 20, 2013 · 9:55 am

Wilco Tango Foxtrot

Wilco Tango Foxtrot is a limited release ale from the Lagunitas Brewing Company and it’s one of their best beers. Lagunitas is known for making bold hoppy beers, but Wilco Tango Foxtrot is more malty with caramel flavors and subtle hints of coffee and chocolate. You can still taste the hops but it doesn’t steal the show. It’s pretty strong with its 7.85% alcohol content too. This is a beer you can be proud of. If you’re lucky enough to see it in the store, grab a few bottles, call up some friends, and have a little microbrew appreciation party. And read the label; Lagunitas puts some clever shit on there.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 6, 2013 · 9:50 am

Tangerine Wheat

Wheat beers taste better with a fruit garnish. It’s why Blue Moon gets an orange slice. It’s why hefeweizen gets a lemon. But sometimes I’m lazy and want a wheat beer with fruit flavor already added. That’s when I get Tangerine Wheat from Lost Coast Brewery and Café. Tangerine Wheat is a wheat beer with tangerine flavor. Lost Coast is best known for making Great White and Tangerine Wheat is almost like a sequel to Great White. It’s like Great White with tangerine in it. It’s a refreshing and fruity beer. Some people say it tastes like beer with Tang in it. I think those people have no idea what a tangerine tastes like. Maybe they’ve never experienced a tangerine. Either way, the 5% alcohol content is low enough that you can drink these for the entire barbeque and still feel like you can drive home. And the citrus undertones will mask any trace of alcohol. I’m not saying you should drink and drive. I’m saying that Tangerine Wheat is a good choice if you want to.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 4, 2013 · 10:44 am

Rampage Imperial IPA

Rampage Imperial IPA is an India Pale Ale brewed by Black Diamond Brewing Co. from Concorde, California. This is a full flavored beer, hoppy, malty, and bitter with citrus undertones. It also has a 9% alcohol content. If that’s not enough of a selling point for you, maybe the label art will persuade you. It has a rampaging elephant with demon eyes bursting out from a bunch of hops. It stares you right in the face, daring you to try this beer. And you don’t turn down an angry elephant. You will try this beer. The demon elephant demands it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 3, 2013 · 9:40 am

Birthday Beer

It’s your friend’s birthday and you want to get him something but you don’t want to go overboard. I recommend buying him a birthday beer. You can pick up a 6-pack of something nice, a 12-pack of something decent, or buy a round at the bar. All options are acceptable. Birthday beer is a perfectly valid present for anyone that is 21 or older. 18 if you’re European. Everyone wants to get drunk and nobody wants to pay for it. I’m sure you friend will appreciate the gesture. Don’t buy beer for anyone that you want to sleep with. That’s what wine and hard alcohol are for.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 2, 2013 · 8:52 am

2-Liter Bottle of RC Cola

I know that I’ve written about RC Cola before. In fact, I gave it a terrible review and said that it was never worth getting again. That was before I saw that they only charge 99¢ for a 2-liter bottle of the stuff. That’s cheaper than bottled water. It’s still a mediocre soda, but it’s fucking cheap and so am I. Coca-Cola will always be my soda of choice, but sometimes my wallet has more influence than my taste buds. And on those occasions I shall grab a 2-liter bottle of RC Cola and ask you not to think less of me.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 27, 2013 · 9:23 am

Peace Iced Tea Sweet Lemon Tea

Peace Iced Tea or Peace Tea is a brand of iced teas made by the people who make Monster Energy drinks. They come in 23 oz cans and cost 99 cents. I got their Sweet Lemon Tea. It says that it’s 100% natural tea, with no artificial flavors, no preservatives, no artificial colors… that means it’s healthy because labels don’t lie. The cans are colorful and have artwork on them. My can of iced tea depicts the fall of the Berlin Wall. I don’t like it when my beverage goes political. Next time I’ll grab my usual Arizona Iced Tea and leave the Peace Tea for the hippies.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 24, 2013 · 10:08 am

Waiting for the Bathroom at the Bar

You drink at a bar. That’s what you do. And drinking makes you have to pee. Eventually you’ll end up waiting for the bathroom at the bar. You have to wait in a single file line with other drunk patrons, alternating between random drunken conversations with strangers and checking your phone for texts and Facebook notifications. You’ll bitch and sigh and shuffle your feet while the line slowly creeps along. Finally you get your chance to drain your bladder and check your reflection, then you wash your hands and grab another drink. Fifteen minutes later you’ll be in line for the bathroom again. It seems like half your time at the bar is spent trying to order another drink or waiting in line to pee. As long as you’re drunk, who cares?

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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