Tag Archives: diet

Snapple Lightly Sweetened Cherry Pomegranate Tea

Lightly Sweetened Cherry Pomegranate Tea is one of the newest members of the Snapple flavor family. It’s almost a diet drink; it only has 80 calories and 18 grams of sugar. It also doesn’t have much flavor. It tastes like a watered down Snapple. And that’s probably what it is. They probably took one Snapple and poured it into 3 bottles and topped them off with water. If you buy a Cherry Pomegranate flavored drink, you want to be able to taste the Cherry Pomegranate when you drink it. And the flavor is way too subtle to justify a purchase. It’s a pretty disappointing beverage and not worth getting again.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Girl Reciting Everything She Ate That Day

It’s a known fact that girls keep an inventory of everything that they have ever eaten in their whole entire life. I’ve lost track of how many times a girl has told me what she ate that day. It’s always the same general story. It starts with her telling you that she’s fat. Not just fat, but SOOOO fat. Then she will proceed to list off every single thing that she ate that day and in the order that she ate it. It’s something like, “Oh my god, I’m so fat. I had half a Pop-Tart and a small bowl of Cheerios with bananas for breakfast, and then I splurged and got a small Jamba after yoga because I felt like earned it, and then I had half an Odwalla bar and 6 grapes with some water at the gym. Oh, and I had Kettle Chips before the gym. I had a salad at lunch and then Stacy and I were bad and split a cheesecake! It was chocolate and strawberry and it wasssssss ssssssooooooooo yummmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy. I swear I could eat cheesecake like everyday….” It’s best to cut her off before you hear about dinner and all the other random snacks that she shoved in her face throughout the day. That’s awesome that you’re not bulimic but I don’t give a fuck what you ate. You look good though.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Diet Coke with Grenadine

I’ve been in the service industry for a few years now and I would always joke about someone ordering a diet soda with grenadine. It was never serious, it was just a hypothetical situation in which a fictional moron would order a sugar-free soda and add cherry flavored sugar to it. It’s the kind of thing that George Carlin would make a punchline out of, like getting a veggie burger with bacon on it. It’s why you don’t pour Red Bull in a decaf coffee.

And then one day a guy ordered a Diet Coke with grenadine. He was serious. My first instinct was to talk him out of it. But he insisted. If I have to contribute to somebody’s diabetes for a 20% tip then so be it. He even had refills. That was the day I lost all faith in humanity and he didn’t see anything wrong with it.  No wonder people hate Americans.

Critically Rated at 1/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks