Tag Archives: bottled water

Smartwater

Glacéau Smartwater is a brand of enhanced bottled water. It’s enhanced because it’s distilled water with added electrolytes, calcium, magnesium, and potassium. It’s water with benefits. That makes it healthier by definition. You might recognize Glacéau as the same brand that makes VitaminWater. That’s water with added vitamins and sugar. They pretend like it’s healthy for you but it’s like mixing water with Pixy Stix. It’s candy water. Glacéau is owned by the Coca-Cola Company so I don’t trust Smartwater as being a better alternative to actual H2O. I don’t want to be duped. And I always feel like a dumbass when I buy Smartwater.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Aquafina Flavorsplash Berry Loco

Aquafina Flavorsplash Berry Loco is a sparkling nutrient enhanced flavored water beverage. Doesn’t that sound appetizing? And scientific? It tastes vaguely of berries. It says on the label that it is a four berry blend flavor. I can’t figure out what four berries it’s supposed to be flavored like. It has a pink hue to it, so I’m guessing that strawberries and raspberries are two of the four flavors. I don’t know why they call it Berry Loco. It doesn’t really taste like berries, much less crazy ones. It has zero calories and a very slight aftertaste. It’s drinkable and refreshing, but I would still take a Vitamin Water over it. It’s alright, but it’s pretty forgettable at the same time.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Expiration Date

I’m not a picky eater, but I always pay attention to the expiration date. Especially with milk. I can’t drink milk if it’s expired. It doesn’t matter if it’s the day after it expires or if it’s the exact date. I just can’t do it. I’m even a little reluctant if I notice that tomorrow is the expiration date. It somehow makes the milk taste sour and weird. It’s all psychological, but it still tastes funny. Bottled water also has an expiration date, and I’d sooner pour it down the drain than drink it. I know that the expiration date is not the end of the world. I’m totally ok with eating canned goods after the expiration date, provided it’s within a week or two of the expiration date. I figure if it can last for years without spoiling, it’s earned a few days’ grace period. But it still tastes funny.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks, Snacks

2-Liter Bottle of RC Cola

I know that I’ve written about RC Cola before. In fact, I gave it a terrible review and said that it was never worth getting again. That was before I saw that they only charge 99¢ for a 2-liter bottle of the stuff. That’s cheaper than bottled water. It’s still a mediocre soda, but it’s fucking cheap and so am I. Coca-Cola will always be my soda of choice, but sometimes my wallet has more influence than my taste buds. And on those occasions I shall grab a 2-liter bottle of RC Cola and ask you not to think less of me.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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