Tag Archives: pineapple

Red Bull The Summer Edition

Now that summer is over, it seems fitting to finally review Red Bull The Summer Edition. You’ve had regular Red Bull. You’ve had Red Bull Sugarfree. You might have tried the Red, Blue, and Silver ones. It was a 7-Eleven exclusive, so unless you ventured in search of a Slurpee you probably missed out on your chance of snagging one. The Summer Edition comes in a bright yellow can. I only saw it the 12 oz. size, but it might have been available in other amounts. It has a tropical fruit taste. It’s mostly a citrus and pineapple flavor with some mango and papaya. I like it. I bought a few cans of the stuff because I know the window is closing on them. You should get them while you can. It’s a great excuse to go to 7-Eleven. Arm yourself with twenty bucks and live like a king.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Lilt (soda)

Lilt is a Pineapple & Grapefruit soda with totally tropical taste. It’s basically a grapefruit soda, but the pineapple smooths and mellows out the grapefruit. It’s not as citrusy as you would imagine it to be. It’s better than a grapefruit soda, but it’s not a good soda. There’s nothing impressive about it, and there’s no incentive for me to ever drink it again. It’s boring. What else can I say about Lilt? It’s manufactured by the Coca-Cola Company, it has no caffeine, and it’s British so it’s hard to find in the States. And that’s a good thing because we don’t need another subpar soda taking up shelf space at the store.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Life Savers

It’s hard not to write about a fruity candy that you orally insert and suck on without sounding a little gay, but I will try. Life Savers are a brand of ring-shaped candies. They make hard candies and they also make gummies. This article is about the fruit Life Savers, the familiar five-flavored hard candy roll that you grew up with. The five flavors are Cherry, Raspberry, Watermelon, Orange, and Pineapple. If that sounds delicious, it’s because they are. Cherry is the best flavor of the bunch, but the rest are also good. If you’re still reading this, good for you because I’m going to tell you a secret. The next time you’re smoking a bowl, pop a Life Saver in your mouth and take a hit. You now have candy-flavored smoke and your weed will taste amazing. You’re welcome. Just try not to inhale the Life Saver because you could potentially choke to death. You can still enjoy Life Savers without weed, but I wouldn’t recommend it because weed makes everything better.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ocean Spray 100% Pineapple Peach Mango Juice Blend

Ocean Spray is primarily known for their cranberries and cranberry juices. But they’ve delved into other juice blends too. Juice blends like Pineapple Peach Mango. It’s a refreshing tropical juice medley made with pineapple juice concentrate, mango juice concentrate, peach puree concentrate, apple juice concentrate, and grape juice concentrate. That’s five concentrated fruits, which makes for a very focused juice. Ocean Spray 100% Pineapple Peach Mango Juice Blend is a solid alternative to orange juice. It’s a great breakfast beverage, especially on a hot day. It would also make a pretty good mixer for gin or vodka. Alcohol makes everything better.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Nantucket Nectars Pineapple Orange Guava

Nantucket Nectars Pineapple Orange Guava is a tropical fruit juice medley. It is a blend of pineapple, orange, and guava, and it also has apple, passionfruit and lemon juice, along with ascorbic acid and beta carotene (for flavor, as the label stresses). Sounds delicious and nutritious, huh? It has 100% of your required vitamin C intake and is 21% juice. That’s enough to fend off a cold. It makes a good mixer too. Nantucket is an island south of Cape Cod, Massachusetts. But Nantucket Nectars is based in Plano, Texas. I smell a conspiracy. All in all, it’s a pretty good juice but it’s not replacing Minute Maid anytime soon.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Grilled/Cooked Pineapple

Pineapple is delicious. Tangy and sweet and delicious. There is nothing wrong with it. Until you grill it or cook it or heat it up. Pineapple should be served cold or at least room temperature if it’s canned. Grilled/cooked pineapple is gross. It’s unnatural. But then some people insist on throwing it on a pizza, or a kabob, or even on a hamburger. Blasphemy! If you wanna add pineapple on a pizza, you need to hold a debate first. You can’t just throw that shit on there, that’s a friendship ender.

Critically Rated at 4/17

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