Tag Archives: head

Ben Foster’s Head

Ben Foster is an actor. He’s pretty successful at it. He’s had a pretty good career. But he has a weird shaped head. His head kind of flares out at the temples. They stick out almost as much as his ears. A head is not supposed to look like that. He needs to file down his skull a little bit but I don’t think you can do that. He’s doomed to have an unusually shaped head for the rest of his life. We need to acknowledge that Ben Foster has a weird shaped head. The world needs to know.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under People I Feel Sorry For

Bobblehead 

A bobblehead is a kind of collectible toy typically depicting a person or animal with an oversized head. The big head is usually attached by a spring so the the head moves or bobbles when you shake it. I’m pretty sure that’s why they call it a bobblehead. Bobbleheads are now a common giveaway at sporting events. So now I have a nice collection of San Francisco Giants bobbleheads. I have Angel Pagan, Brandon Belt, Brandon Crawford, Travis Ishikawa, Matt Duffy, Bruce Lee and Chewbacca. Here’s a fun fact: Bruce Lee and Chewbacca never played in a single game for the Giants. Here’s another fun fact: you can face swap with a bobblehead on Snapchat. I know because I’ve done it way more than I should have.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young 

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Filed under Random Rants

Pouring Beer Into a Glass

There’s a lot of debate over whether bottles or cans are better for beer. Cans are easier to transport, they take up less space, and they don’t let any light in so the beer won’t get skunky. Bottles are traditional, classier, and they make you feel like you’re getting your money’s worth. A bottle of craft beer has more credibility than a can of a cheap domestic. But it doesn’t matter if you’re a bottle guy or a can guy, because we can all agree that beer is good and that pouring beer into a glass makes it taste even better. Pouring beer into a glass wakes it up and revives it. When you pour a cold beer into a chilled glass, the beer gets bubbly and foamy, and ideally you’ll get a nice thick head. The head is an important part of the beer. It broadens the flavor and aromas of the beer, it opens up the flavor gates. It’s how you’re supposed to drink beer. If you buy a ten-dollar bottle of beer and chug it straight from the bottle, but that’s a waste of precious booze. If you don’t taste it and savor it, then you wasted it. So pour your beer into a glass, enjoy it and enjoy life. Head makes everything better (remember that, ladies).

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks

Sunburned On My Head

I made the mistake of shaving my head and getting a tan the other day. Well, to be honest, I didn’t really get a tan… I got sunburned. I basically turned myself into a lobster for a few days. The red is starting to go away, but now I have the unfortunate side effect of peeling. I’m peeling on my back, chest, arms, and on the top of my head. And I’ve noticed that when your head starts peeling, it looks like you have dandruff. Really, really bad dandruff. Giant flakes of dead skin flutter to the ground every time I run my fingers through my hair. I tried putting some lotion on my head to keep it from flaking, but it didn’t work. All it gave me was lightly scented dandruff. And I still have to keep on explaining to everyone that I already use Head & Shoulders, and that I just got sunburned on my head.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

One Long Hair

I buzz my head because it’s easy to maintain and it’s cheap as hell. I bought some electric clippers for $50 a few years ago and shave my head every month or two. I’ve probably saved a few thousand dollars by avoiding the barbershop over the years. I’ve gotten pretty quick and efficient with it, I can shave my head in a couple of minutes. But no matter what, there’s always a single strand of hair that manages to avoid the clippers somehow. It’s unavoidable. There will always be one long hair that survives the cut. It’s usually around the ears or the back of my neck but that fucker can pop up anywhere. And I always notice it after I’ve put the clippers away. At that point I just grab the tweezers and pluck that fucker out.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants