Tag Archives: pieces of glass

Filtering a Beer

I had to filter a beer the other night. By filtering a beer, I mean that the bottleneck broke when I was trying to open it and pieces of glass fell inside the bottle. I’ve never had that happen before. I drink beer all the time. I’m pretty good at opening bottles. At least I thought I was. Anyway, I tried to open a beer, failed, and small shards of glass got into the beer. It was a Hop Stoopid from Lagunitas, so I didn’t want to waste it. This was a real beer, not a fucking Budweiser. I made a makeshift filter out of paper towels. I would have used a coffee filter, but I don’t have any in the house right now. I placed a paper towel over a big beer mug and slowly poured the beer into the paper towel. It formed a shallow puddle that slowly dripped and drained its way through the paper towel into the mug. I replaced the paper towel every few minutes. Yes, this took more than a few minutes. It probably took about ten to fifteen minutes and four paper towels to filter the 22 ounces of liquid gold. It took a while but it worked and I didn’t have to worry about swallowing glass and shredding my stomach lining. I don’t mind wasting time, but I’ll never waste beer.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks

Breaking a Bottle of Beer in Your Backpack

I know that this seems like a really random topic, but it just happened to me at the liquor store. I bought a few tall boys and a couple of bottles, paid the cashier, stuffed the beer in my bag, and dropped it and broke the bottle before he even handed me my change. I knew I was fucked as soon as it hit the ground. I could hear my backpack filling up with beer as the other customers just stood around shaking their heads at me. I had to go outside and pour the beer out of my backpack into the sewage drain. Then I came back inside, collected my change, and sheepishly walked out holding my dripping backpack. Then I got to go home and give my backpack a good rinsing in the shower to get rid of the booze smell and pieces of glass. At least my other beers survived because I definitely needed a drink after that. Breaking a bottle of beer in your backpack is not fun. I wouldn’t recommend it.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks