Tag Archives: ketchup

Ketchup on Hot Dogs

I grew up in a magical land called California, a place where it is considered normal to put ketchup on hot dogs. I only found out a few years ago that this addition is considered blasphemy to the frankfurter community at large. Mustard is the only truly acceptable condiment allowed, and that relish, onions, and sauerkraut are all welcome additions before ketchup can even be considered. It’s somewhat disheartening to find out that I’ve been eating hot dogs wrong my whole life but I refuse to change. Not only do hot dogs taste better with ketchup, they taste hella better if you’re from Northern California like me. If you want to limit your palate with only mustard, that’s fine. It just means that there’s more ketchup for me.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Mustard Stain

I like mustard but it doesn’t like me. It’s always trying to escape from my sandwich and attack my shirt. It usually succeeds too. You can tell whenever I had a sandwich or a hot dog for lunch by the enormous mustard stain on my shirt. It’s always mustard too. I don’t have these problems with mayo or ketchup or any other condiment. Mustard just has it in for me. Oh well, I’d rather have a mustard stain on my shirt than Sriracha is my eye.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Getting Every Last Drop From the Bottle

Things cost money and it’s important to get your money’s worth. It doesn’t matter if it’s a bottle of beer, ketchup, shampoo, syrup or whatever… if you paid for it, you should use it all up. Turn the bottle upside down, smack the bottom, do whatever it takes to get every last drop. Some companies want you to do this. These days Heinz even has upside down ketchup bottles with built-in gravity for maximum condiment efficiency. Getting every last drop from the bottle might make you seem frugal, but it’s better to be cheap than wasteful.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants