Tag Archives: glass

Walking Into a Glass Door

Want to be the life of the party? All you have to do is walk into a clear glass door in front of everybody. Everyone will laugh and cheer and point at you. It will be all they talk about the next day. It will be the only thing they remember about that party twenty years from now. Nobody will let you live it down. You’ll be that guy who walked into a clear glass door for the rest of your life. Walking into a clear glass door is a great way to achieve immortality. Your head might hurt for a minute, but your legacy will never die. Oh well, it’s better to be remembered for something stupid than to be forgotten by everybody. Own up to it and embrace it.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filtering a Beer

I had to filter a beer the other night. By filtering a beer, I mean that the bottleneck broke when I was trying to open it and pieces of glass fell inside the bottle. I’ve never had that happen before. I drink beer all the time. I’m pretty good at opening bottles. At least I thought I was. Anyway, I tried to open a beer, failed, and small shards of glass got into the beer. It was a Hop Stoopid from Lagunitas, so I didn’t want to waste it. This was a real beer, not a fucking Budweiser. I made a makeshift filter out of paper towels. I would have used a coffee filter, but I don’t have any in the house right now. I placed a paper towel over a big beer mug and slowly poured the beer into the paper towel. It formed a shallow puddle that slowly dripped and drained its way through the paper towel into the mug. I replaced the paper towel every few minutes. Yes, this took more than a few minutes. It probably took about ten to fifteen minutes and four paper towels to filter the 22 ounces of liquid gold. It took a while but it worked and I didn’t have to worry about swallowing glass and shredding my stomach lining. I don’t mind wasting time, but I’ll never waste beer.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Pouring Beer Into a Glass

There’s a lot of debate over whether bottles or cans are better for beer. Cans are easier to transport, they take up less space, and they don’t let any light in so the beer won’t get skunky. Bottles are traditional, classier, and they make you feel like you’re getting your money’s worth. A bottle of craft beer has more credibility than a can of a cheap domestic. But it doesn’t matter if you’re a bottle guy or a can guy, because we can all agree that beer is good and that pouring beer into a glass makes it taste even better. Pouring beer into a glass wakes it up and revives it. When you pour a cold beer into a chilled glass, the beer gets bubbly and foamy, and ideally you’ll get a nice thick head. The head is an important part of the beer. It broadens the flavor and aromas of the beer, it opens up the flavor gates. It’s how you’re supposed to drink beer. If you buy a ten-dollar bottle of beer and chug it straight from the bottle, but that’s a waste of precious booze. If you don’t taste it and savor it, then you wasted it. So pour your beer into a glass, enjoy it and enjoy life. Head makes everything better (remember that, ladies).

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks

A Cold Beverage in a Hot Glass

A cold beverage in a hot glass is a bad idea. Any server will tell you that that’s a recipe for a cracked glass. Sometimes the glass is so hot and the drink is so cold, that it shatters in your hand while you take it to the table. Hot plus cold equals cracked glass. That’s why you don’t pour hot water over an iced-over windshield. It will crack the glass. It’s simple physics. Two extreme temperatures can’t coexist on a fragile surface. The fastest way to cool down a glass is to turn it upside and run cold water over it. It chills the glass down pretty quickly most of the time, but it’s not foolproof and you can still end up with a broken glass if you’re not careful. Don’t be an idiot and avoid serving a cold beverage in a hot glass.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks, Random Rants