Tag Archives: flavors

Pouring Beer Into a Glass

There’s a lot of debate over whether bottles or cans are better for beer. Cans are easier to transport, they take up less space, and they don’t let any light in so the beer won’t get skunky. Bottles are traditional, classier, and they make you feel like you’re getting your money’s worth. A bottle of craft beer has more credibility than a can of a cheap domestic. But it doesn’t matter if you’re a bottle guy or a can guy, because we can all agree that beer is good and that pouring beer into a glass makes it taste even better. Pouring beer into a glass wakes it up and revives it. When you pour a cold beer into a chilled glass, the beer gets bubbly and foamy, and ideally you’ll get a nice thick head. The head is an important part of the beer. It broadens the flavor and aromas of the beer, it opens up the flavor gates. It’s how you’re supposed to drink beer. If you buy a ten-dollar bottle of beer and chug it straight from the bottle, but that’s a waste of precious booze. If you don’t taste it and savor it, then you wasted it. So pour your beer into a glass, enjoy it and enjoy life. Head makes everything better (remember that, ladies).

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Life Savers

It’s hard not to write about a fruity candy that you orally insert and suck on without sounding a little gay, but I will try. Life Savers are a brand of ring-shaped candies. They make hard candies and they also make gummies. This article is about the fruit Life Savers, the familiar five-flavored hard candy roll that you grew up with. The five flavors are Cherry, Raspberry, Watermelon, Orange, and Pineapple. If that sounds delicious, it’s because they are. Cherry is the best flavor of the bunch, but the rest are also good. If you’re still reading this, good for you because I’m going to tell you a secret. The next time you’re smoking a bowl, pop a Life Saver in your mouth and take a hit. You now have candy-flavored smoke and your weed will taste amazing. You’re welcome. Just try not to inhale the Life Saver because you could potentially choke to death. You can still enjoy Life Savers without weed, but I wouldn’t recommend it because weed makes everything better.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Kettle Sea Salt Chips

Kettle Brand potato chips are my preferred brand of chips, and Sea Salt is one of my go-to flavors. Kettle Sea Salt Chips look similar to your basic Lay’s potato chip, only less greasy, more crunchy, and with more flavor. It’s basically an improvement in every way. The only downside to them is that they aren’t Krinkle Kut like some of the other Kettle Chip flavors. That makes them slightly less fun, but they are still better than 90% of the potato chips out on the market. Kettle is one of those companies that loves the environment and sustainability. They use wind power and biodiesel and all that hippie shit. But they didn’t sacrifice any flavor and still make gourmet chips. Kudos to them.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Xyience Xenergy Cherry Lime

So there is a brand of energy drinks called Xenergy and it’s made by a company called Xyience and it makes my autocorrect go crazy. Apparently it’s the official energy drink of the UFC, so you know it kicks ass. There are a few different flavors; I snagged the Cherry Lime one. It doesn’t taste like Cherry Lime and it doesn’t taste good. It’s not bad though and there’s a slight aftertaste. It’s kind of bland and weak, it doesn’t have that kick that you expect from energy drinks. There’s no sugar and no carbs and no reason to get it again.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Skittles Darkside

With all this talk about Disney buying Lucasfilm and making new Star Wars movies, it only seems fitting that Skittles released a new flavor variety called Darkside. Now you can taste the other side of the rainbow with sophisticated flavors like Dark Berry, Pomegranate, Blood Orange, Midnight Lime, and Forbidden Fruit. I’m just relieved they didn’t get rid of Lime Skittles; they just changed its bedtime. I like most of the flavors except for the Blood Orange. Maybe it will grow on me, but for now I hate it more than anything and I never fucking exaggerate ever. Darkside is a welcome member to the Skittles family, try them out, look for the purple packaging.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Sour Skittles

How do you improve everyone’s favorite rainbow colored bite-sized fruit chews? By adding a shit ton of sugar and calling them Sour Skittles of course. I lied; Sour Skittles aren’t an improvement on the Original Skittles. All that extra sugar makes your teeth hurt more and doesn’t do anything to enhance the flavors. You have the classic Skittles: Grape, Lime, Lemon, Orange, and Strawberry, but each one is made slightly sour with an excessive sugar coating. Sour Skittles are ok every once in a while, but all the other varieties of Skittles are better.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Salt Water Taffy

Salt water taffy is a type of chewy candy. I don’t know why it’s called salt water taffy. There’s no salt water in it. It’s kind of weird to lie about something as trivial as that. Anyway, salt water taffy comes in a variety of flavors, but it’s impossible to tell what those flavors are. Some of them are fruity but I couldn’t tell you which fruit it’s trying to emulate. Salt water taffy’s biggest competition comes from Laffy Taffy, but salt water taffy doesn’t need to resort to cheap gimmicks like putting lame jokes on the label to sell in units. Salt water taffy has been around for over a hundred years; it’s not going away anytime soon.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Hi-Chew

Hi-Chew is a Japanese candy and they are delicious. It’s a fruity, chewy candy and each one is individually wrapped like Starbursts or Mambas, but they seem juicier. They have a few flavors, I’ve tried Banana, Grape, Strawberry, Mango, but there’s a lot more. Did I mention that they are delicious? Because they are. If you like fruit flavored confectionary treats, give these a shot. Just be careful, because if you buy a pack and someone sees it, you’re gonna have to share.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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