Tag Archives: drop

Dropping Your Spoon into Your Soup

I was kind of hungry earlier and didn’t feel like cooking. I ended up throwing a can of soup into a pot on the stove. It only took five minutes to heat up with an occasional stir now and then to keep it from overheating. When it was done, I ladled into a bowl and took it into my room so I could eat and watch shit on YouTube at the same time. Things were going great until I got distracted by on YouTube video and ended up dropping my spoon into my soup. I watched in horror and it sunk to the bottom of the bowl. I was kind of stoned so it was a very delayed reaction. After ten seconds or so of surveying the situation, I very delicately reached into the bowl and retrieved my spoon. I let it drip and drain for a bit, then I took it to the kitchen sink and rinsed it off. Then I went back to eating my soup. I took my time and made sure not to drop my spoon into my soup again. Once was enough. I thought I was good at eating soup. I guess I’m not the soup connoisseur I thought I was. Dropping your spoon into your soup makes you feel like an amateur. I felt like less of a person. I still do. I’m going to invent a spoon with a wrist strap to prevent this from every happening again. I’m sure there’s a market for it.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Snacks

Dropping Change You’re Trying to Put In Your Pocket

You’re at the corner store buying a soda and some chips and maybe a candy bar, and your total comes out to $4.07. You hand the cashier a five-dollar bill, and he hands you back 93 cents. You take your small pile of coins and try to shove it in your pocket but you completely miss. The coins hit the floor and roll in all different directions. You wish that you could just pretend like it didn’t happen and walk out the door, but you can’t abandon those quarters. So you swallow your pride and get down on your hands and knees to pick them up. And you might as well pick up the dimes while you’re at it because those aren’t completely worthless. And you pick up the nickels and pennies because you don’t want to litter. Dropping change you’re trying to put in your pocket makes you feel like less of a person. The truth is you are. But it’s only temporary. Only the cashier and people waiting in line behind you know that you’re a failure. Nobody on the street knows what you did, so you’re in the clear once you exit the store.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Getting Every Last Drop From the Bottle

Things cost money and it’s important to get your money’s worth. It doesn’t matter if it’s a bottle of beer, ketchup, shampoo, syrup or whatever… if you paid for it, you should use it all up. Turn the bottle upside down, smack the bottom, do whatever it takes to get every last drop. Some companies want you to do this. These days Heinz even has upside down ketchup bottles with built-in gravity for maximum condiment efficiency. Getting every last drop from the bottle might make you seem frugal, but it’s better to be cheap than wasteful.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants