Category Archives: Drinks
February 18, 2013 · 10:24 am
Cappuccino Stout is another limited release from California’s Lagunitas Brewing Co. A good stout usually has hints of coffee and they brew this ale with real coffee. So it tastes like real coffee. And it also has an alcoholic content of 9.2%. That’s stronger than anything that you’ll find at Starbucks. This isn’t the type of beer that you play beer pong with. A stout is something that you sip and enjoy. And Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout is enjoyable and classy and makes you look sophisticated.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Youn
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February 17, 2013 · 9:50 am
Triple Voodoo Brewing is a microbrewery from Belmont, California. It’s a Belgian style ale, but they seem to want to stress that it’s not brewed like most Trappist ales and that makes it taste more like an IPA. And they also describe it as having California characteristics, whatever the fuck that means. “I’m loving these California characteristics, bro. It tastes like sunshine and homeless people, with a little surfer thrown in.” It’s a malty beer with hop varietals that gives it a clean finish. It’s nice and very drinkable. The most important thing is that it’s 8% alcohol and that it’ll get you drunk.
Critically Rated at 12/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
February 16, 2013 · 9:36 am
I like beer and I like strong beer. I want to be able to taste it. I like IPAs because it’s a strong beer. I like double IPAs because they are even stronger than regular IPAs. And so I had to try Talon Extra Select Double IPA from Mendocino Brewing Company. It is really hoppy and has a 10% alcohol content. That’s enough to make you grow some chest hair. One bottle is like three new chest hairs. Drink a case of this and you’ll be looking like Robin Williams in no time. Proceed with caution, ladies. I’ve had better craft beers, but I would still get this one again.
Critically Rated at 12/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
February 14, 2013 · 10:03 am
So there is a brand of energy drinks called Xenergy and it’s made by a company called Xyience and it makes my autocorrect go crazy. Apparently it’s the official energy drink of the UFC, so you know it kicks ass. There are a few different flavors; I snagged the Cherry Lime one. It doesn’t taste like Cherry Lime and it doesn’t taste good. It’s not bad though and there’s a slight aftertaste. It’s kind of bland and weak, it doesn’t have that kick that you expect from energy drinks. There’s no sugar and no carbs and no reason to get it again.
Critically Rated at 8/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
February 12, 2013 · 11:10 am
For thousands of years there was just one main energy drink and it was called coffee. Then people created soda but that wasn’t enough and so we came up with energy drinks. And now everybody and their mom has their own line of energy drinks. Red Bull is the best energy drink, and Rockstar has a claim for second place. Rockstar has lots of different flavors and varieties and Rockstar Recovery Energy/Tea/Lemonade is one of their newer ones. It’s like an Arnold Palmer (half lemonade and half iced tea) but it has caffeine, taurine, ginseng, milk thistle, and electrolytes. Plus is only 10 calories so it’s just as healthy as water. You can drink it all day, everyday with no adverse effects. It has a slight aftertaste like most diet energy drinks, but a shot of vodka makes it unnoticeable.
Critically Rated at 12/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
January 31, 2013 · 10:04 am
I’ve never even heard of Courage Juice until today. It has a cool name and a cool can that caught my eye. The can is all black with red letters and a red lion wearing a crown and holding a scepter. The actual drink is a pinkish-red color that looks like carbonated cranberry juice. It has a tangy-acidic taste like most energy drinks, but it’s a little sweeter than Red Bull. There’s no weird aftertaste like with Monster. It’s another energy drink in an already overcrowded market. It’s decent enough, but we already have way too much liquid crack on store shelves across the world. We don’t need another one. Nice can though. I’d buy it again just for that.
Critically Rated at 11/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
January 22, 2013 · 8:50 am
You know that you need caffeine but can’t decide between an energy drink or a soda. That’s when you should grab a Rockstar Energy Cola. It’s a cola with extra energy. Look for the black label. It’s not as good as Coke obviously, but it’s better than Jolt or other similar amped-up colas. There’s no weird aftertaste or any other weird drawbacks. In fact it’s better than water and you can live off of it without any adverse health effects. It even reverses the aging process and can bring dead houseplants back to life.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
December 20, 2012 · 9:54 am
Happy Hour is that magical time of the day when bars give away drinks at a discounted price. I really don’t know why it’s called Happy Hour. It’s usually two-three hours long, alcohol is a depressant, and depression isn’t a happy thing. Happy Hour is just an excuse to get drunk in public. You can always waste money at a bar but it’s somehow justified if it’s a dollar off well drinks and the sun is still shining. It’s better, cheaper, and more logical to grab a twelve pack and drink yourself into a stupor at home. At least then you can control the TV or radio station.
Critically Rated at 8/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
December 14, 2012 · 9:57 am
Anchor Steam beer is the real San Francisco treat. The Anchor Steam Brewing Company was one of the first microbreweries to go national. They have a few different beers, but their flagship beer is Anchor Steam. Steam beer is also called California common beer, the brewing process results in a beer that has both ale and lager characteristics. Anchor Steam is refreshing and smooth. It has an 4.9% alcohol content so it’s not that strong. It’s still a great beer and I’m enjoying one now.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
December 11, 2012 · 12:12 pm
It’s the holiday season and that means that I’m drinking on a budget. ‘Tis the season for 40-ounce bottles of malt liquor. Olde English “800” is one the more popular forties. It’s made by Miller Brewing Company and has an alcoholic content of 7.5% (at least on the West Coast). O.E. is the forty of choice for a lot of people. If you need to get drunk for cheap, grab a couple of these and call it a night. It doesn’t taste very good, but it’s strong enough to get you drunk and that’s all that matters. I used to think that people drank forties out of paper bags so they wouldn’t get busted for drinking in public. Now that I’m older, I realize that it’s to hide the label because they are ashamed of what they’re drinking.
Critically Rated at 11/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
December 9, 2012 · 10:19 am
A kid’s cup is a cup for a child or clumsy teenager. They are typically plastic with bright, colorful displays and a plastic lid with a straw to prevent spills. It’s one step up from a sippy-cup. They are fun when you’re little, but you start getting offended when you’ve hit double digits and you’re still getting a kid’s cup. You want the real thing. You want a glass or at least a cup without a lid. You’ve earned the right to spill on yourself, damn it.
Critically Rated at 8/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
December 4, 2012 · 9:49 am
Arizona Green Tea is the tall boy of choice for millions of underage drinkers around the US. Their Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey is a nice, cheap beverage. 99¢ goes a long way. It’s refreshing and cheap and has caffeine. I prefer it over Snapple and you get more for your money. It’s cheap too. Don’t Know if I mentioned that yet. But it is. You can buy a small bottle of water for a dollar or you can get an Arizona. The Arizona is bigger and has water in it. It’s a better deal.
Critically Rated at 13/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
December 3, 2012 · 10:20 am
Mickey’s is a malt liquor that they describe as a “fine malt liquor.” It’s not that fine. It’s just your typical 40oz. It doesn’t taste that good. I’ve never met a single person that says Mickey’s is their favorite drink, and I doubt I ever will. You drink it out of desperation, not to enjoy the subtle flavors of cheap booze. It is 5.6% alcohol, which isn’t that impressive for a forty. Forties should fuck you up. Mickey’s only gets you buzzed. Maybe that’s why there’s picture of a bee on the label. I liked Mickey’s more when I thought it was stronger. If you want to get drunk on a budget than forties are the way to go. But you might want to pass on the Mickey’s and get something a little bit stronger.
Critically Rated at 6/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
Filed under Drinks
Tagged as 40oz, alcohol content, bee, booze, buzzed, cheap booze, desperation, fine malt liquor, forties, forty, malt liquor, mickey's
November 26, 2012 · 11:50 am
You have a bottle of beer that you want to consume. You can either smash the bottle or pop the cap. I suggest the latter. The best way to open the bottle is to use a bottle opener. You just apply it to the cap and pop it off with a little bit of leverage. There are a variety of ways to open a bottle without a bottle opener. You can use a lighter, another beer bottle, a countertop, your teeth (good luck), or a million other ways. Consult the Internet for those options: this article is about bottle openers. They are designed to open bottles. That’s all they are supposed to do and they do it better than anything else. No household or alcoholic is complete without one. I have three.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
November 24, 2012 · 10:41 am
I know that this seems like a really random topic, but it just happened to me at the liquor store. I bought a few tall boys and a couple of bottles, paid the cashier, stuffed the beer in my bag, and dropped it and broke the bottle before he even handed me my change. I knew I was fucked as soon as it hit the ground. I could hear my backpack filling up with beer as the other customers just stood around shaking their heads at me. I had to go outside and pour the beer out of my backpack into the sewage drain. Then I came back inside, collected my change, and sheepishly walked out holding my dripping backpack. Then I got to go home and give my backpack a good rinsing in the shower to get rid of the booze smell and pieces of glass. At least my other beers survived because I definitely needed a drink after that. Breaking a bottle of beer in your backpack is not fun. I wouldn’t recommend it.
Critically Rated at 3/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
November 23, 2012 · 10:39 am
As you get older and more mature, you start to transition from keggers to dinner parties. Once you start going to dinner parties, you can’t show up empty handed. You can bring a dish or a dessert, but you’re better off bringing a bottle of wine. And you’ll be more popular too. People like booze. It’s a social lubricant. Bringing a bottle of wine to a dinner party makes you look classy. Bringing a box of wine makes you look like an asshole. Stick with the bottle.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
November 10, 2012 · 11:14 am
If you have a cold glass and a wood table you need a coaster. Coasters protect the wood from the condensation on the glass. Nobody wants to be the jerk who leaves a water stain, so use a coaster whenever possible. Some coasters are made of sandstone, some are ceramic, some are made of cork, and the cheaper ones you find at bars and restaurants are typically cardboard advertisements for beer companies. The cardboard ones make great ninja stars. If you’ve ever been to a Chili’s or Chevys on a slow night, chances are that the servers are throwing them at each other behind the scenes. That’s why it’s taking so long for your refill. Coasters are classy. They are like saucers for your booze.
Critically Rated at 13/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
Filed under Drinks
Tagged as bar, beer, beer companies, beverage, booze, coaster, coasters, cold glass, condensation, ninja stars, water stain
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