Category Archives: Drinks

Beer, soda, and other fun fluids you put in your mouth.

Big Blue

Big Blue is a blue beverage from the same company that makes Big Red. I’m trying it right now for the first time, and I think that it has a bubblegum flavor. At least, I’m guessing that is what it’s supposed to be. It just tastes blue to me. Blue is a fun flavor though. I’m not complaining. It has a very sweet, sugary, syrupy taste to it. I wouldn’t recommend it after you run a marathon. It’s not a thirst quencher. I don’t like to say soda pop, but Big Blue is the definition of a soda pop. It’s cheap and delicious and decidedly unhealthy. It costs 99 cents for a 20oz bottle. What a bargain. You’d be a fool not to get it.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ninkasi Believer Double Red Ale

Believer is a Double Red Ale from Eugene, Oregon’s Ninkasi Brewing Company. It’s a delightfully creamy, full flavored ale that stars with a rich, bready malt taste and is followed by sharp, piney hops. There are some hints of vanilla and caramel, but it smells sweeter than it is. It has a slightly bitter aftertaste. Red Ales aren’t for everyone, but this is a good starter beer. See if you like this one, and then you can branch out into other Red Ales from other breweries. It has a decent 6.9% alcohol content, which is on the lower to middle end of acceptable for a decent microbrewed ale. This is a decent beer. It’s not remarkable, but it’s not boring or anything either. I would get it again, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to get it. If they renamed it Belieber, it would probably outsell Budweiser.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Energizing Fruit Punch Kickstart by Mtn Dew

Kickstart by Mtn Dew is a new energy drink/soda that is a combination of Mtn Dew and fruit juice. It’s not Mountain Dew anymore… it’s Mtn Dew now. Pretty fucking extreme, right? There are two flavors available: Energizing Orange Citrus and Energizing Fruit Punch. I haven’t tried the Energizing Orange Citrus one yet, but I’m sipping on the Energizing Fruit Punch right now. It has kind of a weird taste, like watered down Mtn Dew mixed with a diet fruit punch flavored energy drink. There’s kind of an aftertaste. This is a stupid product. I don’t know why anyone would want to start off their day with a can of Mtn Dew mixed with fruit juice. This is a beverage that nobody wanted and nobody asked for. But they made it for some reason. Try it before they discontinue making it (which should be any second now).

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Leffe Blonde

Leffe Blonde is a Belgian Ale from Belgium. It’s also considered an Abbey Ale because it’s based on an abbey recipe that has been brewed for hundreds of years. It has a rich golden color, and it smells of bananas, cloves, spices, and doughy bread. It has a bready malty flavor with a light hop kick at the end. I can also taste banana, cloves, and honey… it’s a fairly sweet beer with hints of fruit. It’s a good stepping-stone to see what lies beyond the world of Budweiser. I bought the big bottle with the cork. Any beer that has a cork instead of a bottle cap just seems a little more classy. It’s 6.6% alcohol and that’s good but not great for an ale. It’s on the lower-middle end of acceptable. It’s a good beer for day drinking, but I wouldn’t play drinking games with it.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Black Diamond Fracas Red

Fracas Red is a Red Ale from Black Diamond Brewing Co. It has an aroma of hops and caramelized malts with citric undertones. I can smell grapefruit, oranges, and orange peels. It tastes of floral/herbal hops with a roasted malty backbone with caramel and citrus flavors. It starts bitter and finishes sweet. It says on the label that there are also hints of raisins. I’m pretty sure that they are lying. I taste no raisins. It has a solid 8% alcohol content, and it’s pretty drinkable so you might need to watch out and pace yourself. It has a cool label design. There’s a picture of a gnarly looking bull with eyes of flame staring directly into your soul. The bull knows your secrets. The bull knows your thoughts. He challenges you, daring you to try Fracas Red, to tame the beast. And you should. It’s a damn good beer.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Rogue Brutal IPA

Rogue Brutal IPA is a microbrewed India Pale Ale from Oregon. It’s hoppy, but more malty, and it only has 5.8% alcohol. And that’s not enough. Rogue is an overhyped brewery. They have a few good beers, but most of them are disappointing. Their Brutal IPA is pretty weak for an IPA. I suppose that it’s a good IPA for beginners, but I have a seasoned palate and each sip I take kills my buzz a little bit. I’ve had worse beers. But I’ve also had a lot of better ones. Like a lot of better ones. A whole lot of better ones, in fact. The only reason to try this beer is to say that you tried this beer. You might like it. I don’t really care for it. It’s too bland for my taste buds and the alcohol content is too low to make me forget about the blandness. It’s pretty meh for a microbrew with a decent reputation.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Speakeasy Butchertown Black Ale

Butchertown Black Ale is a limited release brew from San Francisco’s Speakeasy Ales & Lagers, one of the better microbreweries in the city by the bay. It’s full flavored American Black Ale, full of malty and hoppy goodness. I can really taste the malt and piney hops, and it has a bit of a burnt smokey flavor as well. The Speakeasy brewmaster says that flavors of grapefruit, pine, currants and red wine come through before overturning to a malt depth intricacy of dark, toasted bread, pumpernickel, subtle notes of dark fruits and hints of dark chocolate, tobacco and leather. Try as I might, I can’t taste the leather and that’s probably a good thing. I think a lot of people would be put off by the bold taste, especially if you usually drink Bud or Coors. But if you like microbrews, this is a great choice. It’s 8.2% alcohol, a fairly typical amount for a good microbrewed ale. It has a cool name too. It was inspired by San Francisco’s Butchertown district where they used to slaughter livestock back in the day. Now it’s where the Speakeasy brewery stands. It’s worth buying. Look for the beer with a picture of a happy cow on the bottle. I don’t know why the cow is so happy. It’s almost as if it doesn’t know that it’s the mascot for a beer named after a slaughterhouse district.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ocean Spray 100% Pineapple Peach Mango Juice Blend

Ocean Spray is primarily known for their cranberries and cranberry juices. But they’ve delved into other juice blends too. Juice blends like Pineapple Peach Mango. It’s a refreshing tropical juice medley made with pineapple juice concentrate, mango juice concentrate, peach puree concentrate, apple juice concentrate, and grape juice concentrate. That’s five concentrated fruits, which makes for a very focused juice. Ocean Spray 100% Pineapple Peach Mango Juice Blend is a solid alternative to orange juice. It’s a great breakfast beverage, especially on a hot day. It would also make a pretty good mixer for gin or vodka. Alcohol makes everything better.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Naked Berry Blast

Naked Berry Blast is a 100% juice smoothie with no added sugar, no preservatives, and it’s also vegan and gluten free. Despite all those drawbacks, it’s still a tasty beverage. Each Naked smoothie has an itemized breakdown of the fruits included. Berry Blast has 5 blackberries, 4 raspberries, 4 strawberries, 3 ½ apples, and ½ banana. You can taste the berries more than you can taste the apples and the banana. Blackberries and raspberries go well together, and strawberries make everything better, so it’s a pretty solid flavor medley. It tastes good and it’s good for you. It’s hard to beat that kind of winning combination.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Stone 17th Anniversary Götterdämmerung IPA

Stone Brewing Co. has a habit of making amazing beers that you fall in love with. Unfortunately, they also make a lot of limited brews that you can only cherish for a little while before they disappear. 17th Anniversary Götterdämmerung IPA is one of their limited batches, brewed to celebrate their seventeen years in business. It has a great name. Götterdämmerung. It sounds angry and delicious, and it rolls off the tongue with a poetic ring to it. It has a hoppy, peppery scent, with citric notes of lemon and grapefruit. It has a zesty, tropical fruit taste with a malty backbone, and peppery/earthy/wooden/herbal undertones. It’s very bold and strong, but it’s still very drinkable and slightly sweet. It has a 9.5% alcohol content, so you’ll be ready for a nap after a couple of glasses. It’s a very enjoyable beer; I only wish that it were available all the time.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Rakija

Rakija (sometimes spelled Rakia or Rachiu) is a liquor made from fermented fruit, and it will get you drunk. They use all different kinds of fruit to make it. There’s plum, peach, cherry, apricot, apple, cherry… but for some reason I always end up with pear rakija. It’s the alcoholic drink of choice in countries like Serbia, Croatia, Macedonia, Bosnia, etc. You can buy it in stores, but a lot of people make it themselves at home. You might consider it the moonshine of the Balkans. It’s considered bad form and very rude if you turn down your host’s rakija. You should never turn down free alcohol anyway, but it’s very offensive to refuse a shot of rakija.

Not only will rakija get you drunk, but you can use it for other things besides drowning your troubles away. You can pour some rakija on a towel and wrap it around your throat if you’re feeling sick. You can use it to unclog the bathroom sink. It cures jellyfish stings. You can use it in lieu of gasoline in your car. It’s also been know to cure blindness and to bring the dead back to life. It’s like the Swiss Army Knife of alcohol.

Most Americans are oblivious of rakija’s existence, so it’s pretty awesome to watch someone try it for the first time. It’s a bit of an acquired taste… actually, you pretty much have to force yourself to drink it the first few times. A small number of people can down it without any problems, but most people can’t help but shudder and are in danger of throwing up when they first have it. But if you manage to get it down the hatch, you can see what all the fuss is about. It instantly warms you up and your head gets pleasantly cloudy. It’s the drink of choice for millions of people and you can see why. It’s ridiculously hard to find in the States, so don’t turn it down if you ever get the chance to experience rakija.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Stone Espresso Imperial Russian Stout

Espresso Imperial Russian Stout is a limited release ale from Stone Brewing Co. It’s brewed with real espresso and it tastes like something you could order from the local coffee shop. It has a rich coffee aroma, with a roasted coffee taste with hints of caramel and bittersweet dark chocolate. The espresso really comes out in the aftertaste and lingers on your taste buds longer than the other flavors. It’s a very smooth and solid stout, and it’s very drinkable for a beer with such a high alcohol content. 11% alcohol by volume is nothing to scoff at, and a pint is enough to make you feel sleepy. This isn’t a beer that you drink at a party. This is a beer that you drink when you’re staying in and catching up on TV shows. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, like you’re bundled up in a blanket made of beer and happiness. Stone Brewing has a reputation for quality craft beers, and Espresso Imperial Stout is one of the reasons why.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Coco Café Vanilla

Coco Café Vanilla is a blend of all natural coconut water, reduced fat milk & espresso with a taste of vanilla for hydration and caffeination. It’s gluten free, it’s best served chilled, and you need to shake it before you drink or it will get all lumpy and clumpy and gross at the bottom. It was so lumpy that I had to check the expiration date to make sure it wasn’t expired. So shake it hard, like it’s a baby that won’t stop crying. It tastes like drinking an iced coffee from a coconut. I’ve never actually experienced an iced coffee in a coconut, but I imagine it would taste like this. It has a rich coffee flavor with hints of vanilla, but the taste is slightly skewed by the coconut water. It’s an acquired taste, it takes a few sips to decide if you like it or not. I am completely on the fence about this one though. I don’t really like it, but I don’t dislike it either. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s just different. I don’t think I would buy this particular flavor again, but I’d be willing to try other Coco Café flavors.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Café Racer 15

Café Racer 15 is a limited batch brew from Bear Republic Brewing Co. It’s a nice, strong Double IPA with an impressive 9.75% alcohol content. Long story short, it will get you drunk and it will taste good in doing so. They use four different kinds of hops (Citra, Amarillo, Cascade, and Chinook) that makes for an interesting flavor profile. I can taste fruity flavors like peach, mango, grapefruit, and even a little apricot, along with a piney resin taste with a nice malty finish. You really can’t taste the alcohol, but you can definitely feel it after a few swigs. It might be one of the most refreshing Double IPAs that I’ve ever had. If you’re lucky enough to spot one in the store, you should grab it. And then you should drink it. And then you should thank me for changing your life. My only complaint is that it’s a limited batch so I can’t get it whenever I want.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Drunk Compass

Almost everybody has a built-in drunk compass to guide them home when they are blacked out. It comes in handy when it’s 3:17 a.m. and you have work the next day. You just want to sleep in your own bed, and that’s when you have to surrender to your drunk compass. Your drunk compass knows how to navigate the public transportation system. It knows how to hail you a cab. It knows the best way home. It keeps you from losing your bag and your keys and phone and wallet. It keeps you from going down dark alleyways in bad neighborhoods. Unfortunately, some people are not in tune with their drunk compass. They either ignore it or can’t use it properly and they find themselves in sticky situations, both literally and figuratively. You have to respect your drunk compass. Let it guide you. Let it carry you home. But never abuse it, neglect it, or take it for granted. Your drunk compass will save your life.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Starbucks Refreshers Strawberry Lemonade

You know that feeling when you need caffeine and you’re torn between an energy drink and a coffee? Me neither, but Starbucks came up with an energy beverage for that very occasion. They have a line of energy drinks made with green coffee extract called Refreshers. Strawberry Lemonade is one of their flavors. It has a muted strawberry lemonade taste. It definitely tastes fruity and there are hints of strawberry, but I can’t really taste the lemonade part. And even though it’s made from coffee extract, it doesn’t taste like coffee at all. Let’s see, what else can I say about this drink… Um, it has 60 calories and 13 grams of sugar and is 25% juice. And I think that’s pretty good for a coffee-based energy drink that doesn’t taste anything like coffee. It’s better than the Raspberry Pomegranate flavor, but I would still take a Red Bull any day of the week. And it’s Friday, so I’ll take a Red Bull.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Forty Dollar Twelve Pack

I was hanging out with some friends the other night and the beer supply was dwindling. We had about fifteen minutes to run down to the liquor store to grab some more beer before they had to stop selling alcohol. We got to the store with about three minutes to spare before they closed. We quickly decided on a twelve pack of Heineken, and I brought it up to the cashier to pay. He took a look at my box of beer and charged me $39.99 for it. As in forty fucking bucks for a fucking twelve pack of shitty pseudo-imported beer. Fourteen dollars I can understand, but forty dollars for a twelve pack is pretty extreme. I wish I could say that I left the beer on the counter and told the cashier to go fuck himself, but instead I bit my tongue and accepted the fact that I was being scammed. That’s an extreme case of outrageous overpricing, but your options are pretty limited that late into the night. We returned to the party and announced that we bought forty bucks worth of beer and everyone cheered. Then they got one beer. Then they were sad and still thirsty. I suppose it’s better than nothing, but I will never get myself into that situation again.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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