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Drunk Compass

Almost everybody has a built-in drunk compass to guide them home when they are blacked out. It comes in handy when it’s 3:17 a.m. and you have work the next day. You just want to sleep in your own bed, and that’s when you have to surrender to your drunk compass. Your drunk compass knows how to navigate the public transportation system. It knows how to hail you a cab. It knows the best way home. It keeps you from losing your bag and your keys and phone and wallet. It keeps you from going down dark alleyways in bad neighborhoods. Unfortunately, some people are not in tune with their drunk compass. They either ignore it or can’t use it properly and they find themselves in sticky situations, both literally and figuratively. You have to respect your drunk compass. Let it guide you. Let it carry you home. But never abuse it, neglect it, or take it for granted. Your drunk compass will save your life.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks