Tag Archives: peach

Skittles Orchards

I went to the corner store to get a Red Bull. As I was standing in line to pay for it, I noticed a pack of Skittles in an unfamiliar package color. An unfamiliar package color can only mean one thing: a new flavor lineup of Skittles. I snatched up the dark green bag and discovered new Skittles Orchards. All the candies are flavored like fruits that grow on trees. There’s Cherry, Red Apple, Orange, Peach, and Lime. Orchards is a pretty apt name for them. Cherry is tart. Red Apple is crisp tasting. Orange is the same Orange that you know and love from Skittles Original. Peach is sweet. And Lime is sour. I’m glad they brought back Lime Skittles. I missed those fuckers. Skittles Orchards are a welcome addition to the Skittles family. I tasted the rainbow, I encourage you to do the same.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Snapple Peach Tea

Snapple Peach Tea is a peach flavored iced tea. You’ll like it if you like iced tea and peaches. It’s made from green and black tea leaves just in case you were wondering. I know that if I were you, I would be wondering what kind of tea leaves they use to make it. It’s refreshing to drink on a hot day and it’s a healthier alternative than a soda. It’s caffeinated and that’s always a bonus, just maybe not right before bedtime. If you’re going to get it, look for the glass bottle as opposed to the larger plastic bottle. The glass bottle caps are the ones with “Real Facts” printed on them. Some of the “Real Facts” are real and some of them are completely wrong or inaccurate. It’s like the Wikipedia of bottle caps.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Nectarines Are Just Bald Peaches

Some people think that nectarines and peaches are different fruits. Some people even think that nectarines are a hybrid fruit crossbred from peaches and plums. Some people are ignorant and shouldn’t be on your team for Trivia Nights. The truth is that nectarines are just bald peaches. Really. They are the same species. Peaches have the dominant gene for fuzzy skin while nectarines have the recessive gene. Patrick Stewart also has the recessive gene. Peaches get all the glory because they have fuzz. Nectarines are neglected. Like your personal hygiene.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ocean Spray 100% Pineapple Peach Mango Juice Blend

Ocean Spray is primarily known for their cranberries and cranberry juices. But they’ve delved into other juice blends too. Juice blends like Pineapple Peach Mango. It’s a refreshing tropical juice medley made with pineapple juice concentrate, mango juice concentrate, peach puree concentrate, apple juice concentrate, and grape juice concentrate. That’s five concentrated fruits, which makes for a very focused juice. Ocean Spray 100% Pineapple Peach Mango Juice Blend is a solid alternative to orange juice. It’s a great breakfast beverage, especially on a hot day. It would also make a pretty good mixer for gin or vodka. Alcohol makes everything better.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Arizona Georgia Peach

Georgia Peach is an iced tea made by Arizona. It’s green tea with ginseng and peach juice. Arizona Green Tea is already invigorating, and the added peach juice is a nice touch. It’s a nice blend. It’s sweet and peachy, but not overwhelmingly so. It’s only 5% juice, so the green tea is still the main flavor. The peach flavor is just a guest star. It comes in the classic Arizona 99¢ tallboy can, which is always a good deal. It’s the perfect caffeine fix when you want something that’s easily drinkable and refreshing. I like it, I would get it again, and I would even give it out as a birthday gift. But I’m also a cheap ass motherfucker.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Naked Peach Guava + Coconut Water

Naked makes all natural fruit juices, made with 100% juice and no sugar added. It’s healthy and delicious, not to mention it’s also gluten free, has no preservatives, and is vegan. But I don’t care about all the health bullshit, I care if it tastes good or not. And it tastes good. I got the Peach Guava + Coconut Water blend. It has ¾ of a peach, ¾ of a guava, ½ of a coconut’s water, 1/3 of a mango, ¾ of an orange, and ¾ of an apple. The peach, guava, and mango makes it tastes tropical, the coconut water gets kind of muted, but it makes the medley more refreshing. And it’s fun to say that I got Naked at the store. Or that I got Naked with your mom and she swallowed my sweet sticky juice. I can keep going with this. There’s nothing wrong with getting Naked. You should get Naked too and see what all the fuss is about. Everyone should get Naked and we can have a huge Naked party.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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