Tag Archives: liquor

Pickle Back

A pickle back is a shot of dill pickle brine that you use as a chaser. It has nothing to do with that pickle-loving Nickelback cover band. Generally you gulp down the pickle back after you take a shot of liquor. Apparently it goes really well with Jameson, and it definitely does not mix with Fireball. My sister is a big fan and advocate for pickle backs. She insists that everyone tries it at least once. She always had an unhealthy obsession for pickles though. I wouldn’t recommend it if you don’t like pickles. Go for it if you do. It gives you the ability to conquer the most vile shots imaginable. You’ll be blacked out in no time.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey

Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey is a cinnamon-flavored whiskey liqueur. Not whiskey, a whiskey-based liqueur. It only 33% alcohol by volume. It’s kind of trendy right now. It’s one of the top ten most popular liquors, up there with Jäegarmeister, Jameson, and Patrón. You’ll find it at most bars and it’s a staple of house parties everywhere. I first discovered it about two years ago. I’m totally over it now. The hipsters can have it. The thing about Fireball is that it acts as its own chaser. You take a swig and swallow and the cinnamon burns your throat and hides the taste of alcohol. Most people take it as a shot or on the rocks, but you can use it as an ingredient to make a variety of cocktails. Nasty cinnamon-flavored cocktails, but cocktails nonetheless.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ordering a Cocktail But Not Knowing What’s In It

The vast majority of people in a bar order basic cocktails like margaritas, martinis, Long Islands, etc. But there is always some asshole that orders a drink that nobody has ever heard of before. Ordering a cocktail but not knowing what’s in it is a great way to piss off your bartender. There are hundreds if not thousands of cocktail names and recipes, so you should be prepared to help out your bartender if you order something obscure like a Skittle shot or a Vampire Juice or something. You should know more about the drink than just its name. You should know what liquors are in it, you should know what mixers to use, and you should know if it’s a shot or something you sip on. A lot of people will order a stupid drink because it sounds cool, but they don’t have the slightest idea what is in it. And that’s fucking retarded. You shouldn’t order something if you don’t know what’s in it. That’s just plain common sense.

Critically Rated at /17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Rakija

Rakija (sometimes spelled Rakia or Rachiu) is a liquor made from fermented fruit, and it will get you drunk. They use all different kinds of fruit to make it. There’s plum, peach, cherry, apricot, apple, cherry… but for some reason I always end up with pear rakija. It’s the alcoholic drink of choice in countries like Serbia, Croatia, Macedonia, Bosnia, etc. You can buy it in stores, but a lot of people make it themselves at home. You might consider it the moonshine of the Balkans. It’s considered bad form and very rude if you turn down your host’s rakija. You should never turn down free alcohol anyway, but it’s very offensive to refuse a shot of rakija.

Not only will rakija get you drunk, but you can use it for other things besides drowning your troubles away. You can pour some rakija on a towel and wrap it around your throat if you’re feeling sick. You can use it to unclog the bathroom sink. It cures jellyfish stings. You can use it in lieu of gasoline in your car. It’s also been know to cure blindness and to bring the dead back to life. It’s like the Swiss Army Knife of alcohol.

Most Americans are oblivious of rakija’s existence, so it’s pretty awesome to watch someone try it for the first time. It’s a bit of an acquired taste… actually, you pretty much have to force yourself to drink it the first few times. A small number of people can down it without any problems, but most people can’t help but shudder and are in danger of throwing up when they first have it. But if you manage to get it down the hatch, you can see what all the fuss is about. It instantly warms you up and your head gets pleasantly cloudy. It’s the drink of choice for millions of people and you can see why. It’s ridiculously hard to find in the States, so don’t turn it down if you ever get the chance to experience rakija.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ordering a Frozen Drink and Complaining That You Can’t Taste the Alcohol

One of the biggest pet peeves for anybody in the service industry is when somebody orders a frozen drink and then complains that they can’t taste the alcohol. No shit you can’t taste it, you just ordered a fucking frozen drink. The colder the drink, the less you can taste the alcohol. Blending booze and ice and sweet mixers is going to make your cocktail taste like a smoothie. It’s a waste of liquor. That’s why most places serve margaritas on the rocks as opposed to blended. There’s no point in getting a savory tequila if you’re not going to savor it. You want to be able to taste the liquor. Sometimes it’s really hot and you feel like a piña colada or strawberry daiquiri. That’s totally acceptable; just don’t complain to the bartender if you think it’s a virgin drink. It’s not. So shut up about it.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Bar Mat Shot

A bar mat is a staple fixtures in bars around the world. They are rubber mats that grip glasses to prevent them from breaking and they have the added bonus of capturing and containing spills. Over the course of a shift, the bar mat collects the excess liquor and mixers from all the drinks made by messy bartenders. A bar mat shot is just what it sounds like: a shot of the liquid from the bar mat. It’s the ultimate mystery shot. It will have all types of booze, everything from absinthe to vodka, as well as other random flavors like OJ and Red Bull thrown in. There is no set recipe for a bar mat shot. It’s contains whatever drinks the bartender knocks over. It will taste different every time. A bar mat shot is never a good idea. Nothing good can come from taking one. You’ll probably end up puking right away. And if you don’t throw up, somebody else will when they watch you take it. It’s that nasty. If you’re even tempted to try it, consider it a sign to stop drinking for the night.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Body Shots

A body shot is a shot of liquor that is served on a person as opposed to in a shot glass. Most of the time a drunk (and slightly slutty) female will lay down on the bar top and somebody else slurps tequila off her tits or tummy. Everyone else laughs and takes pictures. Body shots are usually a sign that things are going to get rowdy. Body shots are messy for everyone involved. The human shot glass will be sticky with liquor and spit. The person taking the shot always dribbles down their chin and they occasionally suck up a loose hair or foreign object. And the bartender gets to clean up all the drinks that get knocked over when the human shot glass jumps up on the bar. Body shots should be reserved for special occasions like a 21st birthday or Cinco de Mayo. They should be somewhat random and special, not a routine event.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Waiting for Friends to Come to the Bar

People like to drink things (like beer and liquor). People like to celebrate things (like birthdays and promotions). It only makes sense that people sometimes chose to celebrate things by getting drunk. Having a party at a bar is a lot easier than having to get enough food and drinks for all your friends and you don’t have to clean up after. Someone will say that everyone’s meeting at the bar at 10:30, and you decide you will get there half an hour later so you wont be the first one there.

But the universe knows that you were thinking that, so when you show up half and hour late, you are still there before everyone else. Waiting for friends to come to the bar is an art. You have to grab a drink, because you can’t be empty-handed when people do show up. You sip it slowly and whip out your phone to pass the time. You’ll text a few friends and tell them to hurry up. You just hope that nobody is watching you, wondering about the quiet guy in the corner who is obviously alone on a Saturday night.

Time flies when you’re having fun, but it comes to a standstill when you’re waiting for friends to come to the bar. You’ll glance at the time, look around the room, answer a text, have a sip or two of your drink, and glance at the time again and it’s still the same time. So you take another sip, read a coaster, pretend to be watching the game on TV, and look at the time again and it’s still the same time.

The only good thing about waiting for people to show up is that you have access to lots and lots of booze. Maybe waiting at the bar isn’t so bad after all.

Critically Rated at 8/17

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