The butt end of a joint or a blunt is typically called the roach. It’s the harshest part of the joint. It has the most resin and tar and tastes like cardboard if you use a crutch. Some people throw it away. Some people keep it to smoke later. Some people leave it lying around in tribute to Bob Marley or some other dead stoner. You know that I smoke that shit. It’s a crime to waste weed, not to smoke it.
Critically Rated at 13/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
Filed under 420
Some mornings you just wake up and need to blaze before you start your day. There are a lot or reasons for a wake and bake. For starters, it’s one of the best cures for a hangover. Sometimes you know you have some bullshit to deal with (like jury duty) and being high would make things so much more interesting. Most of the time it’s simply because being stoned is awesome. The best way to start your day is with a big bowl of weedies.
Do the wake and bake before breakfast and experience the best meal of your life. Bacon was always tasty, but nothing beats stoney bacon. Eggs taste better. Pancakes are more delicious. Waffles and bagels and hash browns. Haha, HASH browns… its all better with a little THC.
The only downside to the wake and bake is that you might get tired later. The doctor says to smoke more weed and drink caffeine and stay out of the sun. And a power nap never hurt anyone.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
Filed under 420
If you are smoking a blunt or a joint with people, there is a certain amount of etiquette involved. First off, you should form a smoking circle. One, two, or three people supply herb, someone is chosen to roll it, and someone supplies a lighter. The person who rolls it gets to spark it. The people who supplied the filling get the next few hits. If you supplied the fire, you’re next. Some people are adamant about which direction the joint/blunt is supposed to go. It doesn’t matter if you pass to the left or the right. Just don’t break rotation. Hit it, pass it along and let the next one in line hit it. Stay in your spot and keep from moving around. And shut the fuck up when it’s your turn to smoke. The conversation can wait but the weed can’t, it’s still burning, and you’re wasting it. And I wanna hit that shit.
Critically Rated at 12/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
Filed under 420
Have you ever smoked a bowl that just seems to never stop burning? You take a hit, you pass it around, you hit it again, you pass it around again, you’re surprised there’s still a hit left when it’s your turn again, you pass it around another time, then it comes back to you, and it’s still not cashed. Well, congratulations. You’ve just experienced a perpetual bowl. Perpetual bowls are rare, but they happen occasionally. Sometimes the herb is really dense and takes longer to burn. Sometimes someone in your rotation isn’t inhaling (maybe they can’t find the carb, maybe they just can’t hang). Sometimes the Weed Fairy comes and quietly keeps packing the bowl without anyone noticing. If you’re lucky enough to experience a perpetual bowl, take a moment to savor the moment and enjoy it.
Critically Rated at 16/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
Filed under 420
If you paid attention in science class growing up, you might recall that you can use a magnifying glass to manipulate solar rays into a death ray for insects. But it might not have occurred to you that instead of harnessing the sun’s energy for evil, you can use it to get high. That’s right, instead of burning ants alive, you can use your magnifying glass to light your bowl. This, my friends, is a solar bowl. Solar bowls are clean tasting. When you use a lighter to smoke a bowl, you are inhaling and tasting trace amounts of butane that alters the flavor of your herb of choice. When you smoke a blunt or a joint, you are also tasting the blunt wrap or rolling paper. When you smoke a solar bowl, you are tasting the weed as it’s truly meant to be smoked. They only downside to a solar bowl is that you can’t do it at night.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
Filed under 420
There’s an endless debate between people who just smoke weed and people who just smoke cigarettes about which is better. One thing that they can both agree on is that you gotta keep an eye on your lighter. People will ask for a light and slip it in their pocket without even realizing it. It’s your lighter, you have to stay vigilant and know who borrowed it last. That thing can start a forest fire, you have to be responsible for it.
Critically Rated at 12/17
Filed under 420
Finding money is cool, but finding weed on the floor is even better. You can ignore the five-second rule if weed is involved. The fire will kill the germs. Germs hate fire. It’s science. Finding a nug on the floor is awesome. It’s like a present from your stoney past. You just have to check it for hair. Burning hair is bad enough, but smoking hair will kill you. It’s science.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Filed under 420
A pipe is a piece of art. You can look at it and admire its color and shape, its use of space, the way it catches the light. It’s beautiful. It’s also fragile and you smoke out of it. And if you smoke too much you might be clumsy and drop that shit. And it will break and you will be sad. Breaking a piece is inevitable; if you use it you will break it, because your stoney self isn’t as agile as you think.
Some pieces will last a long time. I had a pipe that I got for my 21st birthday that I broke a few days after my 27th birthday. 6 years for a pipe is pretty impressive. My pipe was there when Obama was elected… it lasted longer than Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s marriage. I would have been devastated when I broke it, but I was high. The only good thing about breaking a piece is that you get to buy another.
Critically Rated at 7/17
Filed under 420
I like smoking weed, and I’m pretty good at it. One of my favorite things to do while high is watching nature shows. Nothing compliments the life and death struggle of prairie dog fighting a ferret like a freshly packed bowl. Buffalos and lions and giraffes are way more impressive when your mind is in a fog. There’s nothing more life changing than smoking a blunt and watching Planet Earth in HD. Getting stoned and watching nature shows is a past time, and it sure beats actually going outside.
Critically Rated at 17/17
Filed under 420
April 20 or 4/20 is Stoner Christmas. It’s a day to celebrate marijuana. The best way to celebrate marijuana is to smoke vast amounts of it. It’s a day to be social and vocal and share your shit with anyone who wants a hit. If you’ve ever wanted to try it, this is the day to do it. I’m not advocating doing drugs, I’m simply saying that smoking weed will make you more popular.
There are a few different reasons why 420 is stonerly significant. The most commonly accepted origin story hails back to a magical time known as the ‘70s, when a group of high school kids from San Rafael, California would meet at 4:20 by a statue of Louis Pasteur and would search the area for a fabled marijuana garden. After a while, they would just start blazing at 4:20.
A lot of people are under the impression that 4/20 happens once a year. The fact is that 4:20 happens twice a day. A lot of former stoners come out of retirement once a year to celebrate 420. I celebrate 420 by smoking everyday all year.
4/20 is a day when marijuana is mainstream. Well, more mainstream than it usually is. Comedy Central and other cable stations will inevitably show a marathon of marijuana movies. CNN and other news networks will have a bunch of stories about weed. High school kids all over the world will be more red-eyed than usual. 7-Eleven will have a surge in Slurpee and munchies sales.
I was high when I wrote this. I hope you’re high as you read this. Happy 4/20.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Filed under 420
American Weed is NatGeo’s reality show about the medical marijuana industry in Fort Collins, Colorado. It’s a clone of Discovery Channel’s Weed Wars. American Weed primarily follows dispensary owner Josh Stanley and his pot growing brothers as they battle an evil anti-marijuana advocate to determine the fate of medical cannabis in Fort Collins.
The show takes you behind the scenes of the industry in every way possible. You meet a few owners of dispensaries. Some, like the Stanley brothers are in the business for the love of it. They grow their own product and run their clinic with pride. They are advocates for the industry, and are politically active in the fight for legality. There are other owners like the John and Dawn Clifford. They are in the business for profit, and Dawn is super delusional and dreams of returning to an imagined modeling career if marijuana doesn’t pan out.
You meet anti-pot advocates like Scoot Randall. He is extremely active in preventing Fort Collins from going to pot. He leads picket lines and does radio and TV interviews spreading anti-weed propaganda. He stretches the truth and uses blatant lies to get his message across. He’s definitely behind the times, and its nice to see random civilians cussing him out and calling him misinformed.
American Weed spends a lot of time with patients who need weed. There is a broad age range, from college students to little old grannies, who rely on marijuana as medicine. Some people are in such chronic pain that it’s criminal to deprive them of any form of relief. If medical marijuana is banned, these are the people who suffer the most. Not the capitalists.
Some time is spent with law enforcement as they track down violators of grow laws. Most of the time they deal with people without a card growing, or someone with a card growing too much. Sometimes they deal with stupid people who grow their plants outside where kids can get at the buds. Those dumbasses deserve to get caught.
The times are a-changing. And even if Scoot Randall can’t see it, America can. More and more people are actively trying to decriminalize marijuana. The public generally sees its medicinal value. Shows like American Weed and Weed Wars are doing their part to inform people of the benefits of marijuana as a medicine and as a legitimate business industry. Do your part and watch them. Preferably while stoned.
Critically Rated at 12/17
Filed under 420
A Discovery Channel reality show that focuses on the medical marijuana industry and the politics and controversy that surrounds it. The show follows the staff and patients of the Harborside Health Center in Oakland, CA. And it makes you wanna blaze.
The show provides a lot of insight as to how medical marijuana dispensaries function. The staff looks like regular people, they are ready for business but still have crazy dreads, facial hair and tattoos. They are professional stoners. Some are clerks, and they ask what the customer is looking for and what symptoms they have to better find a product to help them. Some work as purchasers who inspect a potential seller’s product. They check for molds, fungi, and the overall quality of the plant.
You meet a lot of patients while watching the show. Some are scamming the system, but a lot of the customers have debilitating problems and marijuana is the only thing that gives them relief from pain. You can clearly see why we need legal dispensaries where these patients can buy weed that is safe to smoke and safe to obtain. It would be a crime to close these clubs, because these people need them.
There is a lot of emphasis on states rights versus the federal law. A lot of conversation is devoted to the economics of the industry. Cannabis is worth billions; it is a huge cash crop. The plant provides a lot of jobs and tax revenue in a time of severe economic turmoil. We already lost the war on drugs; it is time to legalize it.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Filed under 420
The healthiest way to smoke if you want to make a career out of it. Vaporizers don’t actually burn the weed. Instead it heats it to the point the THC vaporizes and so you aren’t technically smoking because nothing is burning.
There are a few types of vaporizers. The cheaper ones are wooden boxes with a tube that you inhale from. The problem with these is that sometimes they aren’t heating properly and you just think you’re getting high but you are getting lightheaded from sucking on a tube for 5 minutes. The more expensive vaporizers are digital. The best one is the Volcano. It uses a giant plastic bag to capture all the THC vapor. Now they even have small portable vaporizers that you can recharge from your USB port. Because you aren’t burning the weed, the smell is hardly noticeable. They are ideal if you have angry neighbors or if you wanna get high without your roomie trying to get in on it.
The downside is that you aren’t actually smoking weed. I like the act of sparking the lighter and passing the pipe or blunt around. Sucking on a tube and inhaling from a bag just doesn’t feel right.
Critically Rated at 11/17 for wooden box vaporizers.
Critically Rated at 15/17 for digital vaporizers.
Filed under 420
The classic disposable BIC lighter is the best lighter for your money. Fuck off Zippo. Just do a slight customization and get rid of that annoying child safety thing, and you have a perfect lighter. There is a decent amount of lighter fluid that makes your BIC last for relatively long time. Buy the six pack and you wont have to worry about someone jacking your lighter every third session. Lots of available colors and prints.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Filed under 420
The classic BIC disposable lighter gets miniaturized in an utterly useless attempt to capture that iPod Nano magic. BIC lighters are already small and portable. Do you really need a smaller version of a small thing? This is why people hate Americans.
Critically Rated at 3/17
Filed under 420
A steamroller is a large chamber with a bowl and a carb. It looks kind of like a bong without the water part. Very harsh, unfiltered smoke, but you get really big rips. They are typically glass. More portable than bongs, but they are pretty big. They are not that common.
Critically Rated at 8/17.
Filed under 420
Pipes are the most common piece. They are usually made of glass, some are made of metal or wood or some other materials. There is a bowl and a carburetor with a small chamber to hold the smoke. There are lots of different designs ranging from simple shapes to complex ones. Without a screen you can get a lot of ash and suckthrough.
I can’t help but notice how many people don’t realize that they need to clean their piece. It won’t destroy the colors, it will just make it look sexy again.
Critically Rated at 14/17.
Filed under 420
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