Tag Archives: joint

Amateur Stoner Neighbors

I have a pair of amateur stoner neighbors. They don’t know what they are doing. About once or twice a week they will wake me up around 8:30 or 9:00 in the morning because of their absurdly loud smoking sessions. They open the window so everyone can hear their unnecessarily noisy conversations, they blast the stereo, and light one up while coughing and hacking after each hit. First off, no respectable stoner should be waking up before 10:00 am. Secondly, if you do wake up to smoke a joint, you shouldn’t be yelling and screaming and singing loudly to terrible ‘90s rock music. Why are you screaming? You should be more concerned with passing the joint around. The only thing you should be saying that early is: “C’mon, pass it already.” Thirdly, any decent stoner should be ashamed of coughing. If you can’t handle your shit, don’t do that shit. I’m not going to yell at them to shut the fuck up because I’m moving out soon. They won’t be my neighbors for much longer. I can only hope that my new neighbors will be more professional than these current amateurs. And that they have better taste in music. That shouldn’t be too hard.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

stoner-stanley_o_508695

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Smoking Someone Out

Getting stoned is fun and getting stoned with other people is more fun. There’s nothing quite like passing a pipe or joint around with a good group of people. A lot of my friends smoke regularly so somebody always has weed, and there are usually two or three people contributing to each session. But there always seems to be a moocher who tries to jump in without offering anything in return. It’s ok to crash the occasional circle, but it’s bad form if you make a habit of smoking other people’s weed without offering anything in return. Weed is expensive; I can’t afford to get you high all the time. I don’t mind smoking someone out, but if I smoke you out, I expect a future session funded by you. Or a beer at least. And if somebody smokes me out, I make sure to return the favor. Real smoking buddies pass the pipe back and forth without any worries. If you packed the last bowl, I would pack the next. And I would give you a nugget from my personal stash if you were dry, because I know that you would sponsor the next session. Smoking someone out is an integral part of stoner culture. If you have weed, it’s a given that you’re going to have to smoke someone out. Just make sure it’s someone who will return the favor.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under 420

The Roach

The butt end of a joint or a blunt is typically called the roach. It’s the harshest part of the joint. It has the most resin and tar and tastes like cardboard if you use a crutch. Some people throw it away. Some people keep it to smoke later. Some people leave it lying around in tribute to Bob Marley or some other dead stoner. You know that I smoke that shit. It’s a crime to waste weed, not to smoke it.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under 420

Wake and Bake

Some mornings you just wake up and need to blaze before you start your day. There are a lot or reasons for a wake and bake. For starters, it’s one of the best cures for a hangover. Sometimes you know you have some bullshit to deal with (like jury duty) and being high would make things so much more interesting. Most of the time it’s simply because being stoned is awesome. The best way to start your day is with a big bowl of weedies.

Do the wake and bake before breakfast and experience the best meal of your life. Bacon was always tasty, but nothing beats stoney bacon. Eggs taste better. Pancakes are more delicious. Waffles and bagels and hash browns. Haha, HASH browns… its all better with a little THC.

The only downside to the wake and bake is that you might get tired later. The doctor says to smoke more weed and drink caffeine and stay out of the sun. And a power nap never hurt anyone.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under 420

Smoking Circle

If you are smoking a blunt or a joint with people, there is a certain amount of etiquette involved. First off, you should form a smoking circle. One, two, or three people supply herb, someone is chosen to roll it, and someone supplies a lighter. The person who rolls it gets to spark it. The people who supplied the filling get the next few hits. If you supplied the fire, you’re next. Some people are adamant about which direction the joint/blunt is supposed to go. It doesn’t matter if you pass to the left or the right. Just don’t break rotation. Hit it, pass it along and let the next one in line hit it. Stay in your spot and keep from moving around. And shut the fuck up when it’s your turn to smoke. The conversation can wait but the weed can’t, it’s still burning, and you’re wasting it. And I wanna hit that shit.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under 420