Tag Archives: morning

Morning People

Some people wake up feeling happy, refreshed, energized, and ready to start the day. They are called morning people, and I hate them. Their cheery demeanor pisses me off because I need two cups of coffee before I start to function. Morning people spring out of bed ready to seize the day. Morning people are always annoying, but they reach their peak annoyance levels on Mondays. Something about chipper morning people at the start of the week gets under your skin, filling your heart with hate and your head with rage. The only way to avoid morning people is to sleep in past noon. If you never experience mornings, you never have to deal with morning people.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Dropping Your Phone on Your Face

You’re lying in bed after a long night out and your phone buzzes. You fumble around for your phone, too tired to even sit up. You finally find your phone and hold it over your face, trying to figure out who is calling you so early and why. But you’re too groggy to function and you end up dropping your phone on your face. What a great way to start the day. At least you’re awake now. Hopefully your thick skull didn’t crack the screen. I don’t think your protection plan covers face dropping.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Staying Up All Night

Last night was one of those crazy summer nights that never seems to end. I was partying and drinking and hanging out with friends all night. We started by pregaming, then we went to the club, then we went to an afterparty at a friend’s house, then we went to another afterparty, then we went on a hike to see the sunrise, then we hung out on a jungle gym, then we got some breakfast, and then I went home and finally slept after being awake for more than 24 hours straight. Staying up all night is something that you have to do a few times each year, just to prove to yourself that you’re still young and you’re still alive. You might feel like shit the next day, but that’s a small price to pay for surviving the night. There’s nothing quite like experiencing the darkness disappear into light and watching the world slowly wake up. There’s something surreal about empty streets coming to life. At first the only other people you see are sleeping bums, then you start to see people going to work and getting ready to start their day. They look at you and judge you and assume that you’re on drugs (and maybe you are), but you don’t care because your night was way better than theirs. And it’s still going on. Staying up all night means that you’ll sleep all day, a small price to pay for winning the night.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Wake and Bake

Some mornings you just wake up and need to blaze before you start your day. There are a lot or reasons for a wake and bake. For starters, it’s one of the best cures for a hangover. Sometimes you know you have some bullshit to deal with (like jury duty) and being high would make things so much more interesting. Most of the time it’s simply because being stoned is awesome. The best way to start your day is with a big bowl of weedies.

Do the wake and bake before breakfast and experience the best meal of your life. Bacon was always tasty, but nothing beats stoney bacon. Eggs taste better. Pancakes are more delicious. Waffles and bagels and hash browns. Haha, HASH browns… its all better with a little THC.

The only downside to the wake and bake is that you might get tired later. The doctor says to smoke more weed and drink caffeine and stay out of the sun. And a power nap never hurt anyone.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under 420