Tag Archives: annoying

Wearing a Backpack in a Crowded Area

A backpack is a great way to bring a bunch of shit with you. It stays on your shoulders and back so you have your hands free to eat a muffin and use your phone. A lot of people have backpacks and a lot of people forget to take them off around other people. They take up twice as much space and don’t realize it. Wearing a backpack in a crowded area is a great way to make enemies. People seem to forget that they are wearing them and they constantly bump into people and knock things over. They are completely oblivious to how annoying and intrusive a bulging backpack can be. Be respectful and courteous to other people and take off your backpack, especially at a concert or on a crowded bus. Or I’ll punch you.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Something In Your Eye

It’s a glorious day in the sunshine and you’re having the time of your life. Then the wind blows and something gets in your eye. It burns, it stings, and it won’t stop hurting. A broken heart, a punctured lung, childbirth… nothing is nearly as painful (not to mention annoying) as having something in your eye. It’s weird how even the smallest speck of insignificance can make you want to gauge out your own eyeball in order to feel the smallest amount of relief. You’ll try to blink it out. You’ll try using your finger to poke it off. You’ll stick your face under the faucet for fifteen minutes to flush it out. You’ll ask the closest person if they see anything in your eye.

In eighth grade I was on a field trip and got something in my eye. I tried everything to get it out and nothing worked. Blinking, flushing it out, ignoring it, nothing. I ended up going to the hospital. They applied some chemical eye drops and turned on a black light so my eye would glow. And they found a speck of dirt. At least I wasn’t imagining it. I’m sure my dad’s insurance company loved that claim.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Talking on the Phone on Public Transportation

If you are on the bus, train, ferry, or some other form of public transportation and your phone rings, you have two options. You can do the right thing and ignore the call, or you can answer your phone. It’s understandable to answer your phone. But you should mention right off the bat that you’re on the bus so you can’t really talk. You find out what they want and you end the conversation.  But if you answer and proceed to have a loud and glorified conversation for more than five minutes, you are blissfully ignorant of how rude and obnoxious you are. It’s even worse if you’re the one calling people on public transportation. You are scum and you should know that.

There’s this thing called Other People. You might want to continuously be yakking on your phone for thirty minutes, but Other People don’t want to be forced to eavesdrop on your lame but loud conversation. Other People don’t give a shit about your day, and they don’t want to hear about it.  No one wants to listen your stupid conversation about how drunk you were last night and how mean your boss was today because you were hungover. And you talk a lot of shit about your friends to whoever you’re talking to.

Who calls people anyway? It’s text or bust. Especially on the bus.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Not Clearing the Microwave

My roommate has an annoying habit. He will pop something in the microwave and nuke it for a few minutes and then just pop open the microwave door before it beeps. He can’t wait the last 3 seconds I guess. That part doesn’t annoy me. The annoying part is that when I want to use the microwave I have to clear it before I can use the microwave. Why should I have to prepare the microwave if I want to use it? That’s like having to screw in a light bulb before you flip the switch. I should be able to just put my bag of popcorn in the microwave and hit the popcorn button. Now I have to hit two buttons? I just doubled my workload because he is too impatient too wait 3 seconds and too inconsiderate to clear it. Not clearing the microwave should be punishable by death.

Critically Rated at 3/17

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Smacking Your Gum

Ok, annoying bitch on the bus who keeps on smacking your gum, you need to stop. Either spit out your gum or keep your fucking mouth closed. You are fucking gross and disgusting, you fucking perpetual masticator. Is that your first piece of gum? Because if it’s not, than you have been chewing gum wrong for years and that’s fucking pathetic. Each time you smack your gum, I want to smack you. And I’d be justified in doing it.

Critically Rated at 3/17

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Filed under Snacks