Tag Archives: supplies

Packing Your Bag For A Festival

Last week I went to the Outside Lands festival in San Francisco. It was my fifth time in six years, so I knew what to expect and I came prepared. Packing your bag for a festival is an extremely vital step for an enjoyable weekend. The more supplied you are, the better the festival will be. Start by getting a decent sized backpack with a few different compartments. The biggest compartment is reserved for a beach towel or blanket to mark your spot, and it’s a good idea to throw in an extra jacket or hoodie in case it gets cold. The middle compartment is for food and drinks. And the smallest compartment is for small accessories like hand sanitizer and deodorant. Hand sanitizer goes a long way, especially at outdoor festivals that have a bunch of portapotties but no place to wash your hands. And deodorant is always nice to have, especially after hours of dancing and walking and baking underneath the hot sun. Sometimes I even include a small first aid kit, because you never know when your drunk ass will need a Band-Aid.

The food and drink compartment is the most important. You want to avoid buying food and drinks inside. The lines are too long and the prices are too high. I usually buy a bunch of mini liquor bottles (the kind they serve on planes) and I wrap them up in black socks and drop them in the bottom of the bag. Then I get beef jerky, trail mix, a few granola bars, maybe a sandwich, and some candy and throw those on top of the socked-up liquor bottles. They won’t be able to find your booze if you do it right. If they open your bag, they will just see a bunch of random snacks. Even if they take out the snacks, they won’t spot the liquor because it’s hard to see small black bundles on the bottom of a black bag. I’ll also buy a bottle of vodka and Gatorade and make some Faderade to take in. It looks just like Gatorade, so they probably wont confiscate it. If you make it the night before and stick it in the freezer, you’ll have an ice cold Faderade that will also turn the middle compartment into a cooler. I’ll usually bring in a few bottles of Coke for a caffeine boost and as a chaser for the mini liquor bottles.

If you want to smoke, I suggest that you roll a couple of joints or blunts and put them in a small container to keep them from getting squished or broken. They are easier to light, and it’s more convenient than packing a bowl. And when they start playing your favorite song, you just have to whip it out and spark it and you don’t have to fumble around. Properly packing your bag for a festival will make your weekend better. I spent three days at Outside Lands and didn’t spend a dime on booze or food at any of the vendors. Everything that I needed was in my bag. I was never uncomfortable, I was never hungry, and I was never sober. And I consider that a victory.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Zombie Apocalypse

I can’t wait for the Zombie Apocalypse. It is the ultimate Darwin test. When the zombies come you have to have a game plan. I’m pretty sure every guy has a plan thought out. I’m pretty sure my plan is better than yours.

We can all agree that food and weapons are the priority. Maybe making sure your family is ok, but if zombies appear and you aren’t within earshot, I’m just going to assume that you are dead. If we meet again, that’s cool, but protecting my ass takes priority over making sure you’re all right. When the zombies first show up, I’m heading straight for the sporting goods store.

The first thing I would grab guns and ammunition. Shotguns and handguns primarily, but a rifle with a scope is also acceptable. Those are good for practicing zombie headshots. After the guns and ammo you need a crossbow or two and a bunch of extra arrows.

After I grab a few weapons I would head over to the backpacking supplies. Weapons are the initial priority because now you can scare off all the other looters who might get your supplies. I would grab all the backpacking food that they have. They are practically indestructible, they last a long time, they have all the nutrients that you need, they are pretty portable, and they are easy to make, and I can’t cook for shit. While in the backpacking supplies section, make sure you grab water bottles and water filters. You can run from zombies forever but you can’t live 3 days without water. Trail mix and Power Bars are always good too.

Get a tent, a sleeping bag, cookware, a lighter, a flint, matches, fishing gear, a first aid kit, walkie-talkies, a survival kit with a whistle, a glow stick, a hammock, and a Leatherman. Swiss Army Knives will let you down; make sure you get a Leatherman. I know this is the zombie apocalypse and not a camping trip, so you can grab a machete too if it makes you feel better. Make sure you get a shovel. They are a decent weapon, and you’ll need it to bury your companions as they inevitably start dropping off.

In almost every single zombie apocalypse scenario the survivors drive around everywhere. They constantly have to worry about fuel. They always forget about bikes. They are quiet, reliable, and never run out of gas. And you can grab one at the sporting goods store that you’re currently raiding. Make sure it has rugged tires and good shocks. See if they have a bike trailer too so you can haul your gear around.

Now that you have the essential supplies, you can start recruiting people to create a new society. You want a doctor, a chef, a hunter, an architect, carpenter, and a lawyer. Every full moon you kill the lawyer. And then you replace him. Just like real life. If you can find a katana, take it. There is no better time than a zombie apocalypse to rock a katana.

Most people would go to major cities or find a secure building like a prison. I would go to the woods and build a camouflaged tree house city. Zombies can’t climb trees, and most people don’t look up. Imagine Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and the Ewok village. Now imagine zombies. Now imagine all the shit that I took from the sporting goods store…. Pretty damn secure, right? Out in the woods you are naturally more secluded. You would be able to hunt and maybe even grow and maintain a small farm or garden.

Of course there are a few flaws with my plan, but there are risks with associated with every conceivable scenario. It’s important to have a plan thought out, but you also need to be able to change it at a moment’s notice. You have to be ready for anything and adapt to any new challenge. What would you do? Where would you go first? What do you think is essential? What is your short-term plan? What is your long-term plan? I want to hear your ideas and steal from them.

Critically Rated at 16/17

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