March 19, 2012 · 9:21 am

All Star Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder

Frank Miller’s prequel to the Dark Knight Returns and the Dark Knight Strikes Again is a reimagining of how Batman and Robin teamed up. Miller’s story is a little more coherent than his DKSA travesty. Jim Lee’s art is amazingly stunning, especially compared to Miller’s gritty Dark Knight illustrations.

Frank Miller’s Batman is basically Dirty Harry. He ruthlessly beats criminals and enjoys doing so. He calls himself the “goddamn Batman”. A lot. It’s annoying to have a classic character changed so drastically. Batman is an asshole in this book. You don’t like his personality.

Dick Grayson is just your average twelve-year-old circus acrobat who is an expert at martial arts for some reason. His parents are shot and killed in front of him, and he is kidnapped by some corrupt Gotham cops. Batman rescues Dick from the dirty cops, and enlists him to fight in his war against crime. Batman doesn’t give Dick a choice; he just takes him back to the Batcave and starts training him to be a soldier. When Dick Grayson asks for food, Batman tells him to catch a rat. What an asshole. Robin doesn’t even get time to grieve. Batman damaged Dick Grayson beyond repair, making his reappearance in DKSA have more meaning. Batman ruined Dick Grayson’s life.

Jim Lee’s art makes Miller’s harsh story beautiful to look at. Vicki Vale, Wonder Woman, and the Black Canary are incredibly sexy looking. The female characters are definitely nice to look at. The highlight of the artwork is a huge multipage foldout depicting the enormity of the Batcave. It is huge, vast, and filled with tons of Bat-ccessories.

Batman is smart, knows it, and rubs it in your face. He handles the Green Lantern by controlling where and how they meet. He makes Robin paint the rendezvous spot all yellow so his power ring is useless. You gotta admit, that’s pretty clever.

This is a cool book. It has a more focused plot than the Dark Knight Strikes Again. The characters are more relatable. Even though the goddamn Batman is an asshole, at least he’s not a parody like he was in DKSA. Miller’s story is dark, but Lee’s artwork makes it appealing.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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March 19, 2012 · 9:14 am

Pepsi Wild Cherry

Have you ever wanted to try a Pepsi with cherry flavor added to it? Try a Pepsi Wild Cherry soda-pop. Pepsi is a little more extreme than Coke. Coke’s cherry cola just has regular, boring cherries. Pepsi uses Wild Cherries. That’s too much excitement for me. The cherry flavor is a little muted compared to most cherry colas, maybe wild cherries aren’t as sweet. It’s decent, but it is still a Pepsi. Pepsi lost the cola wars for a reason… Coke is better. There are a million sodas out there, try this once, and move on with your life.

Critically Rated at 11/17

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March 18, 2012 · 9:46 am

Gattaca

Andrew Niccol (the Truman Show) directs this picture about a future where science has progressed to the point when you can choose the best of your genetic material to make a genetically enhanced child. If you are genetically modified you are a “valid” and life is good. If you are conceived the old-fashioned way (i.e. drunken humping), you are an “in-valid”. With me so far?

Ethan Hawke plays Vincent Freeman, an in-valid who not only has to deal with an unfair lot in life, but has a lifelong sibling rivalry with his superior valid brother, Anton. Vincent dreams of being an astronaut, but he has a bad heart. Frequent genetic testing means that he can never be chosen to go to the stars. The only way to accomplish his dream is to borrow someone’s valid DNA.

Vincent finds a valid named Jerome Morrow who looks just like Jude Law and is willing to share his amazing DNA. Jerome was a kickass athlete who was supposed to be the best, but he was only second best, so he gave up on life and stepped in front of a car. Instead of dying he ended up in a wheelchair. Vincent uses Jerome’s hair, blood, urine, even his skin cells to get a job at Gattaca, a space agency with an upcoming mission to Saturn’s moon Titan.

It would be interesting enough to have the whole moviebe about an in-valid trying to sneak into a good life that he’s never supposed to experience, but Hollywood demands bloodshed, so of course there is a murder at Gattaca. Detectives find Vincent’s eyelash, and he becomes a prime suspect. He must keep pretending to Jerome, but the increasing police presence is putting a strain on his chances of going to space. Another thing that Hollywood demands is an unnecessary love story. Uma Thurman shows up to play the love interest Irene. She thinks that he is a perfect specimen, they get close, she finds out the truth about his lame DNA and gets mad, then they make up, yada yada yada, you’ve seen it three hundred and seventy-six times.

So how does Hollywood choose to end a science fiction movie about genetically modifying humans, space travel, murder, romance and paralyzed Jude Law? With a swim race of course. Fucking Hollywood.

It’s a pretty decent movie overall. There’s an interesting premise that is hidden under all the extra bullshit. It came out in 1997, but the treatment of in-valids by the valids is pretty relevant in this post 9/11 world. There are lots of cool ideas, and this movie will make you think about those cool ideas.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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March 18, 2012 · 9:40 am

Mountain Dew

Let me just call this an extreme soda and get that out of the way. Moving right along, Mountain Dew is a soda. I don’t know how to describe the flavor; it’s just Mountain Dew. It’s not a cola, root beer, lemon-lime, or cream soda… it’s very unique, they claim it is lemon-citrus flavored. All this time I thought lemon was a citrus. You either like the taste or hate it more than sand in your pants. The name comes from a slang term for moonshine. That’s why there’s a hillbilly on the retro bottles. It has caffeine, that’s always a plus. I wont even mention Mello Yello. Damn, ok, never mind.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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March 17, 2012 · 4:18 am

The Return of Superman

Doomsday killed Superman, and the world needs a savior. Four mysterious men show up claiming to be Superman. One is a teenager, one is a cyborg, one has a spiffy looking visor, and one is plated with custom armor. Who is good? Who is evil? Who is pretending? Will the real Superman please stand up?

The emergence of each new Superman fills the void for a Metropolis still grieving for their fallen hero. The Superguys eventually gain their own followers and supporters, each believing their Superman to be the real Superman. Lois Lane has the sneaking suspicion that none of them are actually the real deal. She has some history with Superman, so she is the expert I guess.

The teenaged Superman is really more of a Superboy. He doesn’t like to be called that, but fuck him. He is clone of Superman. He’s an arrogant, cocky, reckless hero, who eventually settles down a bit. The cyborg Superman, also known as the Man of Tomorrow, looks like half Superman and half a Terminator. He is made from Kryptonian technology of course. Spiffy Visor Superman looks the most like Superman, he even has some of his memories, but he is cold, calculating, and ruthless, and that’s not Clark Kent. The armored Superman is the only one who blatantly tells people that he is not the reincarnation of Superman. He is big black guy so I don’t think they would believe him anyway. He is called the Man of Steel or Steel, and his real name is John Henry Irons. One or more of these Superdudes might just have a sinister agenda; you’ll just have to read it to find out.

It’s a long story, much more so than the Death of Superman. It’s pretty easy to follow for as lengthy as it is. There are lots of subplots and a cool twist. I like it more than the Death of Superman; it is more complex of a story with better artwork. You realize that the world needs a Superman, and just because a guy is rocking a cape with an S insignia doesn’t make him a savior.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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March 17, 2012 · 4:03 am

Dr Pepper

Dr Pepper is a soda that has 23 flavors all competing to make one very unique soda. It’s dark like a cola, but you can’t define its taste. There is way too much going on. It’s pretty good though. It’s not that light; it’s not that refreshing, but sometimes you feel like a Dr Pepper. They spell it without a period after the Dr, so my spellcheck is going crazy. Yes, that’s how I want it spelled, leave me alone.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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March 16, 2012 · 9:31 am

The Little Giants

The ‘90s were a glorious time for kid sports movies. The Sandlot, the Mighty Ducks trilogy, the Big Green, Little Big League, Rookie of the Year… and the Little Giants, easily the best movie about a co-ed Pee-Wee football team of all time. Duwayne Dunham (Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey) directs Ed O’Neill (Married… With Children) and Rick Moranis (Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, Strange Brew, Ghostbusters) in this family film about family, teamwork, and making fun of fat kids.

The basic premise is that Becky “Icebox” O’Shea wants to join her uncle’s Pee-Wee Cowboys team. She doesn’t make the team because she is a girl. So she manipulates her dad into starting a new team, so that she can play too. There’s a “One Town, One Team” rule, and so the rag-tag Little Giants must play the Cowboys to represent the town. Most of the kids on the Little Giants are lousy, but Icebox and a kid named Junior (a young Devon Sawa) are pretty decent. Icebox starts to develop a crush on Junior and has to decide if she wants to be a footballing tomboy, or a cheerleading girly girl. She quits the team and lets them struggle in the big game and then the joins the team again and everyone is happy.

If you quit a team or a group, you let everyone down. She quit the Little Giants when the needed her the most. It was her idea to start the fucking team. And they just let her come back and act like nothing was wrong. She’s either a bitch or a victim of shoddy writing. Yeah, I know I’m getting angry at an old kid’s movie, but shouldn’t kids be learning valuable lessons like DON’T BE A QUITTER?!?

Anyway, there is a motley group of kids that join the Little Giants. You have the nerd, and the mama’s boy, and the Asian kid, and the black kid and the fat kid. The Asian kid isn’t the nerd, the black kid can’t catch a football unless he imagines it’s toilet paper, and the fat kid gets mocked repeatedly throughout the movie. He always farts or falls on the skinny kids. It is really mean-spirited. I wonder if the director or the kid’s agent told him how relentless the fat jokes would be. It’s a great message to send to kids: you can be a valuable asset to a team no matter who you are, but if you are fat you are comic relief. This is America! You can’t make fun of fat kids, they are our future.

Rick Moranis needs to make more movies. Not movies like this, but more movies in general. Come back, Hollywood needs you. Ed O’Neill is a great actor. You forget that Al Bundy is coaching a kid’s football team. He doesn’t cheapen his performance or talk down to the camera. He acts like coaching Pee-Wee football is all he knows or wants to know. He plays it very real and genuine.

This movie is a rip-off of the Mighty Ducks. They just changed a few things, but it’s definitely the story of a crappy sports team that gets slightly uncrappier, and they win the big game. The Mighty Ducks had the Flying V; the Little Giants have the Annexation of Puerto Rico. The Mighty Ducks has Adam Banks, a great player who was on the Hawks and than joined the Ducks. The Little Giants has Spike, a great player who joined the Giants and then switched to the Cowboys (a reverse Adam Banks). The Mighty Ducks has a tiny little actor playing the coach (Emilio Estevez); the Little Giants also has a tiny little actor playing the coach (Rick Moranis). They are both so small, but they try so big.

The Little Giants is a decent family film, but I doubt that kids today still watch it. This isn’t a classic film like the Sandlot or even the Mighty Ducks. It’s entertaining but not life changing. I wouldn’t change my Facebook status for this movie.

Critically Rated at 10/17

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March 16, 2012 · 9:30 am

Lost Coast Brewery Raspberry Brown

Eureka, California’s microbrewery presents Raspberry Brown. This is a brown ale with a hint of raspberry. It is a little bit north of subtle, but it isn’t really fruity. There is a slight chocolate taste; it works well with the raspberry. I can only have one or two at a time; it is more of a dessert beer than one you drink to get shitfaced. If you like Newcastle, chocolate, or raspberries you need to try this beer. It is a great craft brew. If you did a good deed today, you deserve to reward yourself with this.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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March 15, 2012 · 9:29 am

Batman: The Dark Knight Strikes Again

Frank Miller’s sequel to his brilliant Dark Knight Returns takes everything he did in the first one and destroys it admirably. I can’t tell if Miller is parodying himself or if he just went crazy. It is an interesting read, even if it bastardizes the original. There’s something about train wreck sequels that is appealing.

DKR was set in the ‘80s. DKSA takes place just a few years later, but Gotham and the rest of America aren’t even recognizable. Lex Luthor and Brainiac have taken over the country and left in in a police state. The President of the United States is a computer program. A lot of heroes are forced into working for the government. It is not a good time to be a citizen in the DC universe.

Dark Knight Returns only had a few other heroes besides Superman and the Green Arrow. Dark Knight Strikes Again has a lot more. Wonder Woman, Lara (Superman and Wonder Woman’s love child), Captain Marvel, the Atom, the Flash, Plastic Man, Elongated Man, Green Lantern, the Martian Manhunter all make appearances… is this Batman or the Justice League? The Cold War setting in the first book made Gotham real and the story relatable. DKSA has the Cold War, but it is amped up to the max. It is extremely jarring and isolating. This world is not recognizable, it could never happen. It is too out there. You can tell Miller is trying to outdo himself, but he forgot what he was doing.

Carrie Kelly is a few years older, and is Batman’s Second-in-command. She no longer uses the Robin mantle; now she goes by Catgirl. Batman has a mini army of vigilantes. They all go on raids and try to overthrow Luthor’s dictatorship. The media is a big part of the story too.

The two main villains in the story are Lex Luthor and Brainiac… is this Batman or a Superman comic? Batman is the world’s greatest detective, so seeing him match wits with Luthor is pretty interesting. There is another villain as well, a crazy psycho who models himself after the Joker. It was a nice little twist to find out his real identity. It’s one of the few redeeming parts of the comic.

It is entertaining and worth reading, especially if you read and enjoyed the Dark Knight Returns. This is a shoddy sequel, but not the worst thing to happen to mankind. It is sad to see a genius like Miller losing his touch.

Critically Rated at 11/17

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March 15, 2012 · 9:20 am

Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra

Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra is a core of soft caramel surrounded by chocolate and caramel ice creams and fudge chips. If that sounds intense, it is. It’s super rich and the caramel core is a big glob of sugary glop. It is extremely chocolately and caramely. In case you didn’t know it is named after the Kama Sutra, a delightful ancient Indian children’s story. It’s actually a sex book, making this flavor a very sexy pun. Props to Ben and his pal Jerry.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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March 14, 2012 · 2:40 pm

Man on the Moon

Milos Forman directs Jim Carrey in this biopic about the zany Andy Kaufman. Andy Kaufman wasn’t a comedian, he was a performance artist. He didn’t tell jokes; he had characters and tricks and would try to get real reactions from his audience. Is he entertaining the audience or himself?

When people defend Jim Carrey’s acting ability they usually name Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and/or the Truman Show. The fact is that there are a dozen actors that could have played the lead in those movies. John Cusack would’ve killed as Truman. Johnny Depp could have been Eternally Sunshining. The Majestic sucks; we don’t talk about that travesty. Man on the Moon works just because of Jim Carrey. Only Carrey has the ability to transform into the enigmatic Andy Kaufman. You forget that you are watching Jim Carrey. There are times in Truman or Eternal Sunshine where he kind of flails about and you remember that you’re watching Jim Carrey and not a movie. Jim Carrey is Andy Kaufman, you forget about Jim Carrey entirely.

Most biopics are about a very famous person, but Jim Carrey is more of a celebrity than Kaufman ever was. I was born in 1985, there’s no way I ever would have heard of Andy Kaufman if it weren’t for Jim Carrey reintroducing him to the world. Without Carrey, Kaufman might have been forgotten by my generation and the ones that follow.

The cast was great. Danny DeVito and Paul Giammatti play great supporting roles. Even Courtney Love turns in a good performance as the love interest. You can almost forgive her for killing Kurt. Almost. There are lots of cameos from celebrities in Kaufman’s life. David Letterman, Lorne Michaels, the cast of Taxi, and a bunch of other celebrities show up as themselves.

The whole movie is summed up in one simple scene. Andy is sick and dying and seeks out a psychic surgeon. He realizes that it’s just a scam artist pulling a fast one and laughs at the irony.

Kaufman was larger than life, a true original. He deceived the audience and loved messing with them. It didn’t matter if they loved him or hated him, as long as their emotions were real. Real responses and reactions make real art. The film covers a lot of Andy’s great moments, from his early standup, to his SNL appearances, to his antics as Tony Clifton, and to his final triumphant show at Carnegie Hall. When you finish watching it, you want to go online and find more of his bits and material. You want to learn more about Andy Kaufman, and that’s the sign of a successful biopic.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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March 14, 2012 · 9:33 am

Skittles Riddles

I was just saying the other day that the U.S. as a whole simply doesn’t have enough varieties of Skittles. And then my prayers were answered when I saw these. I should have asked for world peace, but I’m an American, and candy is more appealing. The gimmick with Skittles Riddles is that the colors and the flavors don’t match up. So a blue Skittle could be Apple, Watermelon, Strawberry, Punch or Raspberry. That is way too much excitement for me. I just want to eat and enjoy my candy, not try to solve a mystery that I don’t give a fuck about.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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March 13, 2012 · 9:35 am

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

I’m trying to write a decent review of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but Phoebe Cates is demonstrating a blowjob on a carrot and I can’t concentrate. Goddamn, I miss the ‘80s.

Teen movies are a hit or miss. Fast Times is a hit. If you do a movie about high school right it stays relevant. Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous, Jerry Maguire) wrote the script and Amy Heckerling (Clueless) directs this teen comedy about a couple of students trying to survive the school year at Ridgemont High.

Like most high school movies, sex is what drives the plot. They portray sex as being something special, something common, something scary, something fun… It all depends on the character. Stacy is inexperienced and doesn’t want to be. Rat is inexperienced and wants to be. Mike is inexperienced and pretends he’s not. Linda is experienced but not by much.

Fast Times launched the careers of Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Judge Reinhold, Forrest Whitaker, Nicholas Cage, and Phoebe Cates. Sorry Shannon Elizabeth, but Phoebe Cates coming out of the pool is the sexiest teen movie scene ever. This is why cinema was invented. There is a decent amount of nudity in this movie. It’s unusual because it is a female director making a comedy geared towards teenage boys, and the two main female characters have nude scenes. They aren’t demeaning scenes, but it doesn’t do much for women empowerment.

Mike Damone is a great character. Kudos to Robert Romanus for his portrayal of the sleazy and cool Mike Damone. He seems so cool and confident, offering Rat pretty solid advice on talking to girls. He is a bookie and ticket scalper, and acts like a badass. But that’s just what it is: an act. He is just another confused high school kid trying to be more grownup than he is. He makes mistakes and doesn’t own up to them. He is an asshole to Stacy, but you still can’t hate him.

Brian Backer plays Rat, the naïve nice boy who just can’t win. He is the only character that stays true to himself. He likes Stacy, tries to woo her, has a chance and blows it, and he still doesn’t give up and gets her in the end. But he stays a virgin. That’s kind of a change of pace from most high school movies where they vow to pop their cherry and finally do.

Sean Penn plays Spicoli, the school stoner. He does typical movie stoner things like ordering a pizza to class (way before Zack Morris). He has his moments, like crashing Jefferson’s car and framing the rival school so he takes it out on them. Sean Penn is a good actor. Not in this movie. He plays a funny character, but he plays it extremely over the top. He is nonfunctional, an idiot. It is insulting to stoners. Go watch Harold and Kumar, those are real stoners, not stereotypes. I like Spicoli’s character, just not Penn’s portrayal of him.

This is a movie about high school students and high school. Fittingly there is an absence of parents. Stacy and Brad’s parents always seem to be out of town. Spicoli’s annoying brother relays messages from his parents to Spicoli. There are only a few adults shown, and they are mostly authority figures like managers or teachers. Mr. Hand is a great character. We all had a teacher like him: a strict hardass that you dislike at first and then grow to respect.

Even if you’ve never seen Fast Times, you have heard of it and see references to it all the time in popular media. The Phoebe Cates pool scene is heavily parodied. If you’ve ever called someone a “wuss,” that comes directly from Fast Times. A couple decades later, American Pie would bring us “MILF”. That is a legacy of a good teen movie: bringing new catchphrases to the world.

This is a classic teen movie, up there with Porky’s and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. This movie came out thirty years ago, and high school kids are still relating to it. Just like they will in another thirty years.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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March 13, 2012 · 9:31 am

Skittles Crazy Cores

Pop quiz, hotshot: what’s better than a Skittle with just one flavor? A Skittle with two flavors of course, you dumbass. Crazy Cores are Skittles with a flavored candy shell with another flavored core inside. Don’t worry, the flavors aren’t too crazy. Maybe a little wild, but not crazy. It comes in Strawberry Watermelon, Mango Peach, Cherry Lemonade, Melon Berry and Blue Raspberry Lemon. Pretty tasty, not too crazy, but definitely not tame.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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March 12, 2012 · 11:33 am

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (book)

The Harry Potter Saga concludes in the seventh and final book. Things are much different this time around. Harry, Ron and Hermione blow off their final year at Hogwarts and embark on a quest to track down and destroy Voldemort’s remaining Horcruxes in order to defeat him. Voldemort has essentially taken over the wizarding world, forcing Harry and his supporters to go on the run. The war has started, and you can’t help but draw parallels between this war and the Nazi takeover during World War II.

Harry has no guide or mentor anymore. Dumbledore and Sirius were both selfish and died, and Harry rejected Lupin’s help. All he has is Ron and Hermione to help keep him on the right path. The friendship between Harry, Ron and Hermione is strained almost to the breaking point. Ron has always been jealous of Harry and Harry has always been stubborn. Some shit goes down and Ron decides to bail. Harry and Hermione trek on together for a bit, but Ron’s absence is noticed. It is a relief when he comes back.

Halfway through the book, the trinamic trio is still tromping from place to place. They only have one Horcrux with no clue as to how to destroy it. They don’t even know what or where the other Horcruxes are. It makes you feel very worried, you know that the book is ending soon and they are running out of time. The final third part of the book takes place in one day. Everything that happens the morning leading up to the Gringott’s raid to the fall of Voldemort occurs in one day. Sorry I didn’t put a spoiler alert there, but if you didn’t know that Voldemort dies I feel really bad for your parents. I liked the nineteen years later epilogue as well, but I think that seventeen years later would have been better.

Severus Snape is the man. He spends the entire seven books being an enigma. You can never tell where his loyalty lies. All you know is that Dumbledore trusts him, but Dumbledore makes mistakes too. J.K. Rowling’s best character is the most mysterious, but his ultimate redemption is enough cause to go back and reread the entire series, because now you know his motivation. Certain actions make sense with this new information, whereas before they seemed out of character. His final line, “Look… at…me…,” is amazing, and I love it even more because J.K. Rowling respects the reader, and doesn’t cheapen it by blatantly stating “Harry, look at me so that I can die gazing into your mother’s eyes, oh, how I loved Lily so.”

Dumbledore’s backstory makes you look at him in a new light. He was not always a great man. He had to learn about himself, what his strengths were and what his weaknesses were. You learn about his family life, and some of his shadier moments. You aren’t sure if you can fully trust him, even though you want to. This doubt heightens the drama when Harry learns he must sacrifice himself. Is Dumbledore capable of raising Harry like a lamb for slaughter?

Harry Potter steps up in the Order of the Phoenix. In Deathly Hallows, Neville Longbottom steps up. While Harry is out running around in the woods, Neville takes it upon himself to rebel against Snape and restarts Dumbledore’s Army. He protects the other students at his own expense. He was deserving enough to get the Sword of Gryffindor (like Harry back in Chamber or Secrets), and he uses the sword to kill Nagini, a.k.a. the final Horcrux. Only the most important characters destroy a Horcrux. Dumbledore destroys the ring, Harry destroyed the diary (and himself), Hermione destroyed Hufflepuff’s cup, Ron destroys the locket, the diadem was accidently destroyed by Fiendfyre, and Neville destroys Nagini. He comes full circle, from being comic relief to being Harry’s pureblood equivalent.

It is a great book, and the best ending that she could have come up with. I will never begin to understand how she could create and finish such an amazing and magical series with the pressure of the world watching, waiting, and judging. J.K. Rowling became the first ever author billionaire. She deserves all her success and more. She didn’t invent wizards or goblins or magic wands. But she made them her own, and created a timeless story that seals its place with masterpieces of literature like the Lord of the Rings and Goosebumps.

Critically Rated at 16/17

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March 12, 2012 · 11:25 am

RC Cola

Royal Crown Cola has to be the most unnecessary cola. There’s Coke, Pepsi and weird store brand colas. But then some mediocre beverage companies want to crack into the cola market, like RC Cola or Jolt Cola. Jolt has a twice the caffeine gimmick that distinguishes it a little, but RC Cola tastes like a cheap store brand cola. It has a weird gritty taste compared to the delicious smoothness of Coca-Cola Classic. There is no reason to try this soda ever. Not even if you are reviewing it for your blog. Trust me.

Critically Rated at 7/17

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March 11, 2012 · 10:09 am

Cheez-It Cheddar Jack

These are baked snack crackers made with 100% real cheese! It says so right on the box! What a time to be alive. I’ve always been a fan of the original Cheez-It Cheddar; it’s a good alternative to potato chips. Cheddar Jack is a good flavor, it is worth trying out, but original, Tobasco and the party mix are better. Cheez-Its are good for game nights or small get-togethers; a box for yourself usually goes stale because you don’t eat them all the time.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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