Tag Archives: fruity candy

Life Savers

It’s hard not to write about a fruity candy that you orally insert and suck on without sounding a little gay, but I will try. Life Savers are a brand of ring-shaped candies. They make hard candies and they also make gummies. This article is about the fruit Life Savers, the familiar five-flavored hard candy roll that you grew up with. The five flavors are Cherry, Raspberry, Watermelon, Orange, and Pineapple. If that sounds delicious, it’s because they are. Cherry is the best flavor of the bunch, but the rest are also good. If you’re still reading this, good for you because I’m going to tell you a secret. The next time you’re smoking a bowl, pop a Life Saver in your mouth and take a hit. You now have candy-flavored smoke and your weed will taste amazing. You’re welcome. Just try not to inhale the Life Saver because you could potentially choke to death. You can still enjoy Life Savers without weed, but I wouldn’t recommend it because weed makes everything better.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under 420, Snacks

Skittles Riddles

I was just saying the other day that the U.S. as a whole simply doesn’t have enough varieties of Skittles. And then my prayers were answered when I saw these. I should have asked for world peace, but I’m an American, and candy is more appealing. The gimmick with Skittles Riddles is that the colors and the flavors don’t match up. So a blue Skittle could be Apple, Watermelon, Strawberry, Punch or Raspberry. That is way too much excitement for me. I just want to eat and enjoy my candy, not try to solve a mystery that I don’t give a fuck about.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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Skittles Original

Taste the Rainbow. Compare it to Skittles. Skittles taste better right? And who eats rainbows? Gay Unicorns. That’s beside the point. Skittles are the OG fruity chewy bite-sized candies. If you are ever in doubt what candy to bring to the movie theater, you can’t go wrong with a pack of Skittles. They look a little like M&Ms but they have an “S” and not an “M” on them. S&M… just realized that. Maybe we can make t-shirts of that, anyone down? They have a few standard flavors: strawberry, orange, lemon, lime, and grape. Skittles rock, I can’t imagine my childhood without this essential candy.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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