Category Archives: Entertainment

TV, Movies, etc

Craigslist Joe

Craigslist Joe is one of those documentaries with a simple but intriguing premise that ends up taking you places you never thought possible. It begins with a guy named Joe Garner wondering if he could survive for 31 days living off the kindness of strangers that he meets on Craigslist. He begins by cutting himself off from friends and family members. He gets a new phone with no contacts and no numbers whatsoever. Then he begins his mission of survival. Each day he has to find food, shelter, and something to do, all via Craigslist. He makes his way from Los Angeles to Portland to New York City to New Orleans… he even goes to San Francisco and meets the actual Craig from Craigslist. He goes all over the US and even ventures into Mexico briefly. He hitched rides, he made new friends, and he formed new bonds. Anyone who has ever been on a road trip knows that time slows down and real conversations happen and real relationships are formed. The biggest flaw of the documentary is that is focuses too much on Joe and not enough on the people that he meets. I mean he’s traveling with a cameraman who is doing everything that Joe is doing, but all you see is Joe taking a free dance lesson, or Joe walking the flood-damaged streets of New Orleans in silent reflection, or Joe drinking a cup of joe. The best thing about Craigslist Joe is that it makes you wonder if you could survive for thirty-one days living off the Internet. Yeah, you could. But do you have the balls to do it? Check it out on Netflix or iTunes or find it streaming online somewhere.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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My Last Days

            My Last Days is a short documentary about Zach Sobiech, a young musician with a few months to live. It was released by SoulPancake (actor Rainn Wilson’s YouTube channel), which is fitting because Zach Sobiech is a YouTube sensation. In May of 2012, he was told he had a year to live. He spent his time writing down lyrics and creating songs as a way to say goodbye to his family and friends. He made a video for his song “Clouds” and released it on YouTube where it quickly went viral. Hopefully you’ve seen either his original video or the video with celebrities lip-syncing to it. Even if you haven’t, you should watch this documentary if you have twenty minutes to kill. It gives the backstory behind Zach and his inspiration for “Clouds” and how he searches for closure with the people he loves. I’m warning you now, you will cry a lot. But you’ll also laugh. And you’ll remember to enjoy life, to hang out with friends, to spend time with family, to tell the people you love that you love them… Live life like you’re going to die, because you’re going to. Zach Sobiech had a great life and I’m glad he shared it with us. My Last Days is powerful and inspirational and you need to watch it right now.

Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Alternative Titles for the Harry Potter Series

I’m too hungover and lazy to write anything amazing, so I though I would spit out a list of alternative titles for the Harry Potter series. People like lists and people like Harry Potter. It’s a winning combination.

Book 1: Harry Potter & the Start of the Beginning

Book 2: Harry Potter & the Unnecessary Flying Car

            Book 3: Harry Potter & the One with Time Travel

            Book 4: Harry Potter & the Ultimate Reality Show

            Book 5: Harry Potter & the Cunt Called Umbridge

            Book 6: Harry Potter & the Death of Dumbledore

            Book 7: Harry Potter & the Sudden Realization that It’s Over and There is Nothing Else Worth Reading

So there you go. Hope you enjoyed my half-assed list.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Shameless Season 3

The Gallagher clan is back for the third season of Showtime’s Shameless. William H. Macy plays Frank Gallagher, the alcoholic deadbeat father of six kids. Emmy Rossum plays Fiona Gallagher, his oldest child and surrogate mother to the rest of the kids. The first two seasons were about meeting the Gallaghers, and a few other families and crazy characters around their neighborhood. Season 3 is all about exploring the relationships between those characters.

            Frank has always been deplorable, but he’s at his absolute lowest in this season. His relationship with his kids has always been strained and it finally reaches the breaking point. Fiona kicks him out of the house, he responds by anonymously reporting them to child protective services, temporarily breaking up the family. Fiona has relationship problems with her boyfriend, Jimmy (Justin Chatwin), who is stuck in a green card marriage with the nymphomaniac daughter of a dangerous drug lord. Ian Gallagher (Cameron Monaghan) has a love triangle of his own, sleeping with his best friend’s brother and with Jimmy’s closeted father. Next-door neighbors Kev and Veronica (Steve Howey and Shanola Hampton) want a baby but can’t conceive, so they ask Veronica’s mom to be the surrogate and that leads to some awkward love scenes.

Lip Gallagher (Jeremy Allen White) still doesn’t know if he wants to go to college or not. He’s in a twisted relationship with Mandy Milkovich (Emma Greenwell) and he still has feelings for Karen Jackson (Laura Slade Wiggins), the succubus who broke his heart and ran away. The Jackson family is almost as dysfunctional as the Gallaghers. Sheila Jackson (Joan Cusack) is kind of crazy and is sleeping with her daughter’s rejected ex-husband, Jody (played by Zach McGowan). We knew from Season 2 that he’s a recovering sex addict, in Season 3 we find out what that means.

            Sex, drugs, violence, and family values… Shameless has it all. Showtime doesn’t get the same respect as HBO, but they would if more people watched this series. This is quality television. It’s a marathon show. You sit down to watch one episode and end up watching three. There are only twelve episodes per season, so you have to pace yourself or else you will run out episodes to watch and your life will seem hollow.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson

            Michael Jackson is the King of Pop and the Master of Music Videos. Or rather he was. He’s dead now. Everyone has their own favorite Michael Jackson video. Boring and cliché people are partial to Thriller. A lot of people like Bad, Beat it, and Billie Jean. Those are all great videos, but Smooth Criminal is the best Michael Jackson video. It’s a great song and he showcases some of his best dance moves including the moonwalk and the anti-gravity lean. I wonder how many wannabes broke their nose trying to do the lean. I’m guessing it was a lot. Smooth Criminal is not just a music video, it’s short film. And it has almost all the iconic Michael Jackson trademarks: he’s rocking a fedora, a slick suit with an armband, tape on his fingertips, he’s pretending to be tough and feigning street cred, there are strangers doing a spontaneous yet perfectly choreographed dance, a couple of little kids running around well past their bedtime… the only things missing are the glove and his hair on fire.

Smooth Criminal is a very stylized video (it’s actually the centerpiece of his film Moonwalker). MJ enters a 1930’s nightclub filled with gangsters and he’s somehow tougher than all of them. He sings and dances and prances around. He beats up some dudes, and he even shoots and kills another guy, sending him flying backwards through a brick wall. At one point the music cuts out and everyone starts moving in slow motion with a blue tinge. Michael does a little howling and finger snapping and bobs his head ferociously. A cat walks on a piano for some reason, the ladies start moaning, and everything slows down before the song explodes back into existence. It’s impossible to watch this video and not try to emulate his moves. Don’t even try to dance like Michael Jackson; you won’t be able to pull it off. Michael Jackson is the only guy who looks cool doing Michael Jackson moves. Everyone else looks like Corey Feldman during his MJ obsession.

            Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Gentleman by Psy

You failed at 2012 if you don’t know who Psy is. He’s the K-pop sensation who brought us Gangnam Style. It currently is the number one YouTube video of all time with over 1.571 billion views. That’s an absurd amount of views. How do you come up with a follow-up single to something so successful? I don’t know, but Psy manages to do that with his new single Gentleman. It’s just as catchy with a funnier video and zanier dance moves. It’s already set a few YouTube records like most views in the first 24 hours, most views in a 24-hour period, and the fastest to get to 100 million and 200 million views. That’s a lot of momentum and only time will tell if it becomes more popular than Gangnam Style. Nobody ever thought that Avatar would surpass Titanic though. Psy is a genius. His songs get stuck in your head and you can’t help but sing along even though you have no idea what he’s saying. Every now and then you hear some broken English and you sing that part really loud. You can tell that he’s having fun and that’s important. Gangnam Style was an unintentional viral sensation, and now he’s specifically trying to recreate the magic to avoid being called a one hit wonder. You’d think he would be stressed out. But instead he’s genuinely enjoying himself and it comes through in his work. The guy is an entertainer and I’m definitely entertained.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Red Letter Media’s Phantom Menace Review

I am a nerd and every few months I get the inkling to watch Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace. That’s a mistake and I know it, so whenever I started fiending for that shitty prequel I go online and search for Red Letter Media’s Phantom Menace review. This is a comprehensive and humorous video review that showcases and highlights all the things wrong with the movie. You always knew that The Phantom Menace was a terrible movie, and Red Letter Media explains why. They go into detail bashing the story, the lack of a main character, the rest of the characters, the plot holes, and how George Lucas started powertripping and lost his vision. And once you watch it, you can never look at Episode I the same way again. They have a lot of valid points and any film buff would appreciate watching this scathing review. The review is narrated in voiceover by an unseen creepy old man with a penchant for kidnapping young white females. It’s a seven-part video; each segment is about 10 minutes long. It’s better than watching The Phantom Menace and you learn way more than you would with the DVD commentary. Now you can get your Phantom fix without suffering through the actual movie.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Simpsons Tapped Out Whacking Day Upload

Just when you thought that Tapped Out couldn’t get more addicting, they released the Whacking Day upload. It’s a welcome homage to a classic episode, but there is way too much shit going on. You normally just have to click on stationary objects to get money and XP. Now you have to click on moving targets. That’s way too much hand eye coordination for a casual gamer such as myself. You click on snakes and snake eggs and eventually you unlock more shit. You feel a vague sense of accomplishment when you accomplish a mission, then you get a new assignment and the cycle continues. It’s the same old Tapped Out, but it’s snake related. And you can say you were whacking off on your break without feeling dirty.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Karaoke

Karaoke is an ancient Japanese word that means amateur singing fueled by alcohol. It’s a great way to embarrass yourself or delude yourself into thinking you’re a rock star. You go into a karaoke bar, you choose a random song, the DJ calls your name, the music starts, the lyrics show up on a TV screen, and you stumble your way through it. People either cheer you or jeer you. You should be too fucked up to know either way. You have to choose a song that you know all the words to and something that’s fun to sing… that’s why you hear so many songs by Journey and Queen. It’s not karaoke until someone belts out Don’t Stop Believin’ or Bohemian Rhapsody. Some people take karaoke way too seriously. Those people are losers. Karaoke is supposed to be fun and freeing, like singing in the shower (only fully clothed and less damp). You haven’t truly lived until you’ve sung a song in front of a group of strangers. Get on it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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California Baseball Teams

Baseball is America’s pastime and California is America’s best state. I’m not being biased, I’m being factual. There are only thirty clubs in Major League Baseball and five of them are based in California. We have two expansion teams and three of the most storied teams in the MLB. The Oakland Athletics have been an American League team since 1901. They’ve played in Philadelphia, moved to Kansas City, then came to the Bay Area. They have won 9 World Series titles: 5 in Philly and 4 in Oakland. The LA Dodgers and SF Giants are both National League teams with roots in New York City, and they are one of the best rivalries in baseball. The Giants and Dodgers both have roots going back to 1883.  The Dodgers have 6 World Series titles, and the Giants have 7 (and are the reigning World Series Champions for the second time in three years). The Angels were an expansion team in 1961. They currently have one World Series title and right now they have one of the most formidable lineups in baseball.

            The Giants and the Dodgers have been rivals since the NYC days. The Giants and the A’s have a mostly friendly rivalry, but there’s some tension because A’s swept the Giants in the Battle of the Bay in the ’89 World Series. The Angles also beat the Giants in the 2002 World Series and bitter feelings still linger in San Francisco (we were five outs away, then they had to bust out the damn Rally Monkey). The Dodgers and the A’s have a rivalry because they are both competing for the love of LA.

And then there’s the San Diego Padres. They are the little brother of MLB teams in California. They have no World Series Titles and no real rivalry with any other California team because they’ve never really been a contender. They have 2 NL Pennants that they can raise, but you’re not a team until you have a ring. They have a nice stadium. That’s about it.

            The era of the East Coast Bias is long gone. It’s all about the West now. And you have a lot of options for choosing a baseball team in the Golden State. Do you support the NL or the AL? Northern California or Southern California? Do you like winners or losers? No matter what, there’s a team for you. But if I were you, I’d go with the Giants. Can’t go wrong with the best.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The San Francisco Giants

The San Francisco Giants are the best team in baseball. The Yankees might have won more World Series, but the Giants have won more games. I know that sounds unbelievable, but it’s a fact. Look it up. They have more wins than any North American sports team. That includes football, basketball, soccer, and hockey. The most winning team in the USA ever. And we won two out of the last three championships. That makes us a dynasty.

Right now we have some of the best players out there. We have Buster Posey, former Rookie of the Year and reigning National League MVP, and we have him for 9 more years. People don’t give enough respect to Pablo Sandoval. Yeah, he’s a fatty but he also hit three homeruns in a World Series Game, can hit from both sides of the plate, and makes spectacular plays at third base. We have quite possibly the best pitching rotation in the majors. Our worst starting pitcher has 2 Cy Young Awards. Our best pitcher has achieved perfection. We have three of the best announcers in baseball. Jon Miller is in the Hall of Fame. And Kruk and Kuip are two broadcasters that are as beloved as anyone on the field. Dave Flemming is growing on me. Very slowly, but he’s still growing on me.

We have two of the best players of all time. Barry Bonds is controversial because he was roided out in an era when everyone was roided out. Most people choose to ignore that he was a 40-40 player before he started using, and was perhaps the most dominate player of any generation. Some people might say that Babe Ruth is the Greatest Of All Time because he was the best hitter and a brilliant pitcher. Whatever, he never played against black people or Latinos and white people suck at sports. We also had Willie Mays. He is the leading candidate for being the best player ever. He’s certainly the most rounded. He was the ultimate team player with all five tools: he could hit with power, he could hit for average, great defense, a great arm, and a great base runner. Plus he was smart with great instincts. He was born to play baseball.

The Giants are the best team because they are my team. I love them no matter what. I love them when they win, and I love them when they lose. I anguish in each defeat, I revel in each victory. Baseball allows you to connect with the past. You can always compare a player from today with a player from yesterday. It’s why it’s the national pastime. It doesn’t matter who you root for. Your team is your team. But my team just so happens to be the best.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Shameless Season 2

Shameless is a Showtime series that is based on a British show with the same name. It’s about a dysfunctional family trying to survive in the ghetto. William H. Macy stars as the drunken patriarch of the Gallagher family. He spends his days in a stupor and avoiding his kids while mooching off of lonely ladies in the neighborhood. Emmy Rossum plays Fiona, the oldest daughter and the one who runs the house. Season 1 focused primarily on Frank and Fiona, getting to know the rest of the Gallaghers, and introducing a few other people from the neighborhood. Season 2 seems to generally give Lip the big storylines.

Jeremy Allen White plays Phillip “Lip” Gallagher, the oldest son and a reluctant genius. The biggest arc of the season involves his infatuation with his slutty best friend, Karen (Laura Slade Wiggins). She gets engaged and married to a tool even though she’s pregnant with Lip’s baby. Lip tries to get her to break her relationship, he has a major fight with his brother about her, he drops out of school to get a job to support his baby, Fiona kicks him out of the house because he dropped out of school… he just seems to be the driving force in a lot of episodes.

Other Season 2 highlights involve the return of two important women in Frank’s life. His mom Peg (Louise Fletcher) gets released from prison and comes back to make Frank’s life a living hell. And his absentee wife comes home for a while. Chloe Webb plays Monica Gallagher, a bipolar drug addict with a habit of abandoning her family. Her kids resent her, they can’t trust her, and they hate the fact that they can’t help but love her. As terrible as Frank is, she’s a much more destructive influence on the kids. It becomes apparent that Monica is a drug and Frank is addicted. Nothing good can happen when they are together.

Shameless is a great show on a great network. If you like quality entertainment, rich storylines, and well written characters, then you should check it out. You shan’t be disappointed. Plus it has nudity. That’s always nice.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Jenga

Jenga is a game that either builds friendships or destroys them. You start with a tower of wooden blocks 18 levels high with 3 blocks in each level. The goal of the game is to remove a block from a lower level and move it to the top of the tower without the whole thing collapsing. The longer the game goes on, the taller the tower gets, and it becomes more and more structurally unsound. Everyone takes turns pulling out a piece until the tower falls over. Then everyone yells out “Jenga!” and shrieks with glee while bystanders look on with disdain. The loser is whoever knocked over the tower. The winner is whoever removed the last piece successfully. Jenga was originally a kid’s game, but then I grew up and now it’s a drinking game. My local dive bar has a few Jenga sets and there’s a custom of writing something on a piece whenever you play. It’s a good way to commemorate a special event or talk shit to a future player. It’s fun to play with blocks. Reconnect with your inner child and play some Jenga.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Opening Day 2013

Today is Opening Day for Major League Baseball, one of the best holidays of the year. You’ve been jonesing for the season to start all winter, you get a little bit of a fix from Spring Training, but there’s nothing like the real thing. Baseball is a drug and Opening Day is the needle. Opening Day also represents possibilities. It’s a clean slate, a fresh start for your team. Anything can happen and everyone looks forward to it. It’s better than Christmas. You look forward to Christmas for a few weeks, then it finally arrives, you do Christmassy things for a few hours, and then it’s over. But with baseball you’re waiting for a few months for Opening Day, then it finally arrives and you do Opening Day festivities and watch your team play a game, and when it’s over you realize that it was just the first of 162 games and you’ll have baseball in your life for the next six months. Christmas abandons you, baseball crashes on your couch and never leaves. Play Ball!

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Shameless Season 1

Shameless is a Showtime series about a poor and dysfunctional family living in a Chicago ghetto. It’s got everything that I want from a TV show: sex, violence, humor, drama, love triangles, drugs, alcohol, criminals and petty thugs, amazing writing, and great characters played by great actors.

William H. Macy stars as Frank Gallagher, a drunken loser with six kids. He’s selfish, egotistical, and spends his days drinking and ignoring his kids. The beautiful Emmy Rossum plays Fiona Gallagher, his oldest child and surrogate mother to the rest of the kids. She runs the household and keeps the family from falling apart. They are the two main characters of the huge ensemble cast and they drive the main storylines of the first season. Frank moves out of his house and starts mooching off of Sheila Jackson (played by Joan Cusack), who is recently separated from her husband, and collecting huge disability checks for her agoraphobia. Meanwhile Fiona gets a new boyfriend named Steve (played by Justin Chatwin) and she reluctantly lets him into her chaotic life.

Season 1 introduces you to the Gallaghers and how they live. They aren’t your typical family. They come from a broken home. They hate their mother for abandoning them, and still love Frank despite all the shit he’s done. He never left them. He’s a deadbeat deplorable drunk, and a terrible excuse for a human being, but it taught them to rely on themselves rather than him. All the kids in the family work and hustle to make money to pay the bills. They look after each other, stand up for each other, defend each other, and are fiercely loyal to each other. They watch TV together, eat and drink and smoke together. They aren’t perfect, but they are proud of that.

You also get to meet a few other characters from around the neighborhood, friends, enemies, cops, drunks, sluts, and thugs. There are a lot of characters and subplots and arcs and I’m too lazy to write about them all. You might notice I didn’t even write about all the Gallaghers. There are just too many of them. They all have their own character traits and they all get something to do. Shameless is a great show. It only took me about fifteen minutes to get hooked. It’s more addicting than Breaking Bad. That’s a bold statement, but I’m sticking to it. Breaking Bad doesn’t have nudity and Shameless does. Emmy Rossum is beautiful and you can see her boobies. Game over.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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My Favorite Moment of The Simpsons

The Simpsons has been on the air for 24 seasons and counting, there have been millions of great jokes and gags over the decades. But one gag stands out above all the others. Way back in the seventh season there was an episode called “Marge Be Not Proud.” Bart gets caught shoplifting at the Try-N-Save and Marge is hurt and disappointed and gives Bart the cold shoulder, leaving him out of family activities. He comes downstairs and sees everyone drinking hot chocolate. Marge hands him a cup but there’s no marshmallow in it. When he asks about it, Marge says that he’s old enough to put the marshmallow in himself. So he picks up a marshmallow, drops it into the cup, and it instantly expands and absorbs up all the hot chocolate. He turns the mug over and it slides out and plops down on the table. He didn’t just fail, he failed spectacularly and he knows it. He dejectedly begins carving into it while Grampa eagerly asks for a slice. It’s completely absurd. It doesn’t make any sense. And it makes you want a hot chocolate marshmallow slice too. I still laugh out loud every time it pops into my head. It sums up The Simpsons style of humor wonderfully. And it reminds you that the seventh season happened a long time ago.

Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth (comic)

Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth is a Batman graphic novel written by Grant Morrison with art by Dave McKean. Most Batman comics are detective stories, but this one is more like a horror story. It’s April Fools Day and the Joker has taken over Arkham Asylum and threatens to kill staff members unless Batman shows up. Batman is a little reluctant to go because he’s worried that he might actually be crazy and going to Arkham would be like going home. But Batman goes anyway because he’s Batman and that’s what he does. Once he’s there, the Joker gives him a chance to escape the asylum, but it’s kind of hard because all the inmates are loose. The Batman has to fight foes like Two-Face, Killer Croc, the Scarecrow, Clayface, and a few others in order to survive. But he’s also battling his inner demons too, so there are internal and external conflicts going on.

The story is pretty solid but Dave McKean’s art takes it to a new level. It’s very dark, gothic, and chilling. It’s the perfect style for a story that takes place in a prison for crazy people. It’s also important how the words look on the page. Lettering is one of the most underrated and often overlooked aspects of comics. Letterer Gaspar Saldino’s work is definitely noticeable in this comic. He gave each character a distinctive font that matches their personality. It’s hard to put down this comic. It’s one of the most visually exciting comic book experiences that you will ever have. You’re not a Batman fan if you’ve never read this book.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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