Tag Archives: episode I

Jake Lloyd

Jake Lloyd is a former child star most famous for playing young Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. He’s blamed (along with Jar Jar Binks) for ruining the movie. Never mind the fact that George Lucas wrote the script, directed the film, and had ultimate control over everything. It’s the kid’s fault for destroying everyone’s favorite film franchise. Jake Lloyd was a decent actor for a little kid, but it’s hard to create a satisfying movie persona when you’re working with CG characters and green screens and a shitty script. The negative response to the flick was enough to cause Lloyd to quit acting and drop out of the public view. He occasionally pops up at conventions to make a quick buck, and he has no qualms about admitting how much he hates being associated with Anakin. The Phantom Menace ruined his life, but then again, that movie ruined a lot of peoples’ lives.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

phantom-menace-screencaps-star-wars-the-phantom-menace-27341683-1280-720

Leave a comment

Filed under People I Feel Sorry For

Red Letter Media’s Phantom Menace Review

I am a nerd and every few months I get the inkling to watch Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace. That’s a mistake and I know it, so whenever I started fiending for that shitty prequel I go online and search for Red Letter Media’s Phantom Menace review. This is a comprehensive and humorous video review that showcases and highlights all the things wrong with the movie. You always knew that The Phantom Menace was a terrible movie, and Red Letter Media explains why. They go into detail bashing the story, the lack of a main character, the rest of the characters, the plot holes, and how George Lucas started powertripping and lost his vision. And once you watch it, you can never look at Episode I the same way again. They have a lot of valid points and any film buff would appreciate watching this scathing review. The review is narrated in voiceover by an unseen creepy old man with a penchant for kidnapping young white females. It’s a seven-part video; each segment is about 10 minutes long. It’s better than watching The Phantom Menace and you learn way more than you would with the DVD commentary. Now you can get your Phantom fix without suffering through the actual movie.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Entertainment

Ahmed Best

Ahmed Best is an actor and musician. He’s released a few albums with his group The Jazzhole, he’s performed nationally on stage in Stomp, and he was in the biggest movie of 1999. He did everything right in order to become a successful working actor…. But he played the worst character in cinematic history, in one of the most disappointing films of all time. Ahmed Best is Jar Jar Binks.  What movie ruined the Star Wars franchise? The Phantom Menace. Why did the Phantom Menace suck so bad? Because George Lucas fucking hates me. And Jar Jar Binks was in it. Stupid, racist, annoying, CG stereotypes can make a bad movie even worse. And Ahmed Best will tell you that shitty parts mean a shitty career.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Leave a comment

Filed under People I Feel Sorry For