Tag Archives: list

How to Make a List

This is the Critically Rated Guide to creating a list. After you read this, you should be able to make your own lists like a champion.

  1. Decide what your list will be about. In this case, the topic is how to make a list.
  2. Come up with a catchy title that catches the reader’s attention.
  3. Include a brief summary after the title that goes into a little more detail about your topic.
  4. Start listing things by beginning at Step 1.
  5. Then go to Step 2.
  6. Then go to Step 3.
  7. Then write down the fourth step, then the fifth, and then the sixth, and so on. A good list should have at least ten steps.
  8. Once you’ve listed all the things that you wanted to list, you should write another brief summary of your topic for your conclusion.
  9. Then you should use spell check and edit your list before you finalize it and publish it for the world to see.
  10. 10. Bask in the glory of creating a list.

And that’s how you create a list. Pretty simple stuff, right? The hardest part is just getting enough time to sit down and write one. Your homework assignment for the next week is to make a list of your own. Just don’t be lazy and write a list about writing a list because that’s kind of pretentious and people see right through that shit.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Alternative Titles for the Harry Potter Series

I’m too hungover and lazy to write anything amazing, so I though I would spit out a list of alternative titles for the Harry Potter series. People like lists and people like Harry Potter. It’s a winning combination.

Book 1: Harry Potter & the Start of the Beginning

Book 2: Harry Potter & the Unnecessary Flying Car

            Book 3: Harry Potter & the One with Time Travel

            Book 4: Harry Potter & the Ultimate Reality Show

            Book 5: Harry Potter & the Cunt Called Umbridge

            Book 6: Harry Potter & the Death of Dumbledore

            Book 7: Harry Potter & the Sudden Realization that It’s Over and There is Nothing Else Worth Reading

So there you go. Hope you enjoyed my half-assed list.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Entertainment

Forgetting Something On Your List

It’s your day off and you finally have a chance to go to the store and catch up on errands. You write down a few essential supplies and then start shopping. You’re flying up and down the aisles, mentally crossing off each item as it enters the cart. Then you casually glance over your list one last time before you pay the cashier and head home. You start unloading your bags and realize that something is missing. You forgot to pick up something vital, one of the main reasons you went to the store. I call it the BLT Law because whenever I go to the store to get stuff for BLTs I come home with the bacon, lettuce and tomatoes, but no bread. I always forget the bread. Forgetting something on your list defeats the whole purpose of making a list. You wrote it down so that you wouldn’t forget it. But you still forgot it. Now you get to go all the way back to the store. Don’t you feel like a winner?

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Girl Reciting Everything She Ate That Day

It’s a known fact that girls keep an inventory of everything that they have ever eaten in their whole entire life. I’ve lost track of how many times a girl has told me what she ate that day. It’s always the same general story. It starts with her telling you that she’s fat. Not just fat, but SOOOO fat. Then she will proceed to list off every single thing that she ate that day and in the order that she ate it. It’s something like, “Oh my god, I’m so fat. I had half a Pop-Tart and a small bowl of Cheerios with bananas for breakfast, and then I splurged and got a small Jamba after yoga because I felt like earned it, and then I had half an Odwalla bar and 6 grapes with some water at the gym. Oh, and I had Kettle Chips before the gym. I had a salad at lunch and then Stacy and I were bad and split a cheesecake! It was chocolate and strawberry and it wasssssss ssssssooooooooo yummmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy. I swear I could eat cheesecake like everyday….” It’s best to cut her off before you hear about dinner and all the other random snacks that she shoved in her face throughout the day. That’s awesome that you’re not bulimic but I don’t give a fuck what you ate. You look good though.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Snacks