Monthly Archives: April 2014

42 (film)

42 is a 2013 biopic about Jackie Robinson. It was written and directed by Brian Helgeland, and it stars Chadwick Boseman as Jackie Robinson and Harrison Ford as Branch Rickey. The film focuses primarily on Robinson breaking the color barrier in Major League Baseball. The film starts with Branch Rickey, the President and GM of the Brooklyn Dodgers, making the bold decision to bring a black player to the major leagues. He only has to find the right one, someone with talent, skill, and the ability to take abuse without fighting back. He finds what he’s looking for in a young player named Jackie Robinson.

Jackie must endure racism and prejudice from his own teammates, other teams, managers, fans, and the media on his path to breaking the color barrier. He experiences things what would make anybody break but he handles it all with grace and class, keeping his mouth shut and letting his bat do the talking. And all the way he inspires people. He changes people. He changes the world. And he does it playing baseball.

Chadwick Boseman does a serviceable job playing the legendary Jackie Robinson. He doesn’t stand out but he doesn’t take anything away. I couldn’t name an actor that could do it better off the top of my head, but nothing about his portrayal really grips you. Harrison Ford is a scene-stealer as always. He growls and chews his way through his lines. Alan Tudyk’s brief appearance as Ben Chapman, the racist manager of the Philadelphia Phillies, also deserves recognition.

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           42 is not a perfect film. It’s not a hundred percent accurate and they take some liberties in telling the story. That’s to be expected. It’s a Hollywood biopic, not a documentary. Jackie disappears during a few parts of the movie and it becomes The Branch Rickey Story far too often. Yeah, Branch Rickey played a huge part in racial integration but I wanted to see a movie about Jackie Robinson, not another flick about a rich white guy. There’s also an unnecessary scene involving homoerotic showering that left me scratching my head. Jackie’s teammate seems way too interested in seeing Jackie naked. Like way too interested. I also wish that they showed more things from Jackie’s career like other black players entering the game and when he was finally tenured enough to be able to fight back.

It’s still a good movie. I would recommend it. The good outweighs the bad and it’s important to recognize and honor Jackie Robinson. The movie depicts him in a positive light and you’ll respect him more after you watch it. But this film only gives you a glimpse of his life and he did a lot of great things that aren’t included in the two-hour running time. I want more. I demand a sequel.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Text From a Stranger

I got a text yesterday from someone asking me if I was going to the park. I said I wasn’t planning on it. They said alrighty, and that was the end of the conversation. The only thing that bugs me is that I don’t know who I was talking to. I didn’t recognize the number and I can’t figure out who it was. I never delete texts from my phone so I was able to check my history. It turns out I had a previous conversation with that number fourteen months ago, and they asked if I was going to work that night. I can only assume that it’s a coworker that I don’t care about. But that’s only a guess. I have no clue who the real culprit is. An anonymous text is an unfortunate side effect of modern technology. Caller ID can only take you so far.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Hoptologist DIPA

Hoptologist DIPA is a Double India Pale Ale from California’s Knee Deep Brewing Co. It pours a dark hazy copper color with a fluffy off-white head. It has a rich malty aroma with citrus hops, tropical fruit, grapefruit, bread, caramel, banana, pine, and musk. Not old man musk, more like attic or basement musk. The flavor profile is hoppy, malty, and dark fruits. I get pine, citrus, grass, resin, and bread as well. It has a nice balance between sweet and bitter. You won’t even notice the 9% alcohol content until it sneaks up on you. This is a very satisfying beer, but I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re not a fan of IPAs. It’s too intense for some palates. It’s not one of the essential IPAs to drink before you die, but it’s worth trying if you come across it.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Knee Deep Hoptologist

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Knowing All the Words to a Song

You’re in the middle of a crazy party or going nuts at the club when the song cuts out and the DJ puts on a new track. The lyrics kick in after a few familiar bars and everyone roars with approval and they all start singing along. You join in, belting out all the words with everyone else and the music becomes bigger and louder and more intense. Everyone becomes connected and you’re transcended to another level. Music is an escape, a drug, and nothing gets you higher than when everybody is on the same level as you. Knowing all the words to a song in a key part of that. It means that you know the song. It means that it has meaning to you. And you have a bond with all the other people that appreciate the song as much as you do. Certain songs bring people together. “Bohemian Rhapsody” is an amazing song to listen to, but it’s so much better when you sing along to it with a bunch of friends (especially if you bob your head appropriately).

It’s surprising how many songs you actually know all the lyrics too.  You probably couldn’t sing all the words to a particular song if I told you to sing it a cappella, but you could do it if you heard the song playing. It’s easier to sing along to a song than it is to memorize one. You might not get all the words perfectly, but it’s still good enough to do karaoke.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Gorp

Gorp is a popular term for trail mix. I was brought up thinking that it stood for Good Old Raisins and Peanuts, but I’ve also heard that it stands for Granola, Oats, Raisins and Peanuts. No matter what you call it, it’s still the generic name for trail mix. Gorp is made to give you protein and energy while you’re hiking or camping, but it’s also popular as an everyday healthy snack. There are many variations of trail mix with all kinds of different ingredients like almonds, M&Ms, sunflower seed kernels, cashews, walnuts, and various types of dried fruit. You can eat gorp when you’re sitting on your ass watching TV at home, but it tastes best when you’re outside doing something. Food is fuel and gorp is gasoline. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I like how it sounds. It really does taste better than gasoline, I was being metaphorical.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Walking Through a Picture

I work in a popular restaurant in a scenic tourist trap location. I see tons of people taking pictures as I walk to work. I used to stop and wait or go around them, but now I walk right through the shot. I realized I was wasting a lot of time and energy trying to be polite with no reciprocation from the universe whatsoever. Plus there are hundreds of people taking pictures, there is no way to avoid wrecking a picture. So own it and walk through the shit with your held held high. Walking through a picture makes you feel like an asshole at first, but you get used to it and you start to feel like a badass. You can do anything once you’re able to walk through a picture with no remorse. The world is your oyster, the possibilities are endless.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Driving the Wrong Way Down a One Way Street

There’s nothing quite as exhilarating as driving the wrong way down a one way street. The sudden realization that you’re driving directly into oncoming traffic makes your heart skip a beat and your blood starts pumping. A quick reaction time and reacting swiftly without panicking is essential for surviving the situation. And you’re virtually helpless if you’re not behind the steering wheel. All you can do is try not to piss yourself and hope your driver doesn’t kill you. Dying kind of sucks, I try to avoid it.
If you’re going the right way on a one way street and encounter a dumbass driving the wrong way, you’re legally obliged to blast your horn and extend your middle finger. You have to call the driver out for being a moron and endangering your life. Make sure he knows that he fucked up and he fucked up badly. Make him feel bad.
Critically Rated at 4/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Two Left Shoes

I had a job interview yesterday and I had to dress business casual. Collared shirt, no tie, no jeans, and no sneakers. I had a nice button up shirt and some khakis, but I needed a new pair of shoes. I had the bright idea to get them thirty minutes before my interview. I was running a little late so I hailed a cab and gave him ten bucks to wait for me while I ran inside Payless. I grabbed the first pair of cheap decent shoes that I saw, got in line, paid for them, and ran back to the cab. As we started driving I took off my sneakers and threw them in my bag, then took my the new pair out of the box and swore loudly. There were two left shoes in the box. I couldn’t believe my luck. All I could do was shake my head and continue onwards to the interview. At least I had a good anecdote when they asked me about my day. I don’t know if I got the job yet, but I got it covered if anyone needs a left shoe.
Critically Rated at 6/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Penis Game

If you went to public school and don’t know what the penis game is, you have failed in your education. The premise is simple. One player starts the game by quietly saying “Penis.” Then the next player says “Penis” a little louder. The next player says “Penis” even louder. The volume increases as the game goes on until they start screaming it at the top of their lungs. The whole point of the game is to disrupt the class and to piss off the teacher. Yes, it’s immature and imbecile, but it’s also fun as hell. The best way to win is to be fearless. Shout it loud and shout it proud. You want to bellow it out. Be theatrical. Really get into it. Only make sure you have someone to play against or else people will think you’re crazy.
Critically Rated at 11/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Giving a Deaf Couple a Braille Menu

I used to work at Chili’s and we had a hostess that was really pretty but really dumb. In fact, she was downright incompetent. I remember her finest moment. She sat a deaf couple in my section. I went over to greet them and take their order but they were too busy laughing to talk to me. I asked what was so funny. They held up the menus that the hostess gave them. They were in Braille. She gave the deaf couple a Braille menu. Let that sink in. You better believe that I gave her shit for that. She was a really nice girl but there was no way I could let that slide. Giving deaf people a Braille menu is a whole new kind of stupid.
Critically Rated at 3/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Black Coffee

Black coffee is the term for a regular cup of joe. No sugar, no cream, just plain coffee. Cream and sugar makes the coffee more drinkable, but it also makes it so you can’t taste the nuances in the flavor profile. Black coffee is how coffee is supposed to taste. It’s the real deal, the way that coffee’s been consumed for centuries. It’s how your grandma drank it. It’s how the cowboys drank it. And it’s how you should drink it. You won’t impress anyone by drinking a mocha or a cappuccino, but drinking a black coffee will. Order a black coffee when you’re in a breakfast meeting with your boss and you’ll get that promotion you’ve been gunning for. And if he doesn’t give it to you, you can throw the coffee in his face.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Time Jumps

Time jumps are when you glance at the time, look away for a moment, and glance back at the time and realize that an hour or more has slipped away. It happens when you’re sleeping. It happens when you’re bored. It happens when you’re fucked up. It happens when you’re driving or travelling. It happens when you’re really happy. And sometimes it happens in life. A summer romance ends as September approaches. You just started high school and now you’re already graduating. You just got your dog, he was a puppy, and now you’re taking him to the vet for the last time. The kid from The Wonder Years is how old now? Where did the time go? What happened? And if only I could go back and do it again…

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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National Stress Awareness Day

April 16th is Nation Stress Awareness Day. Don’t panic if you didn’t know that. Take a deep breath. There’s nothing to worry about. You don’t have to do anything to celebrate except acknowledging what’s stressing you out and then taking a chill pill. Or a couple of puffs because weed is more effective.  National Stress Awareness Day should be a day where you reanalyze your priorities and temporary goals. Find out what’s bugging you and come up with a way to deal with it. You don’t have to eliminate the stress today, there’s another pseudo-holiday for that. You only have to be aware of your stress; you don’t actually have to do anything about it. However, it probably doesn’t help your stress levels if you forgot that yesterday was Tax Day.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Bigfoot

Bigfoot is one of the most famous cryptid animals, up there with the Loch Ness Monster and the Abominable Snowman. Bigfoot is similar to the Abominable Snowman, but the Abominable Snowman lives in the Himalayans and Bigfoot lives in the Pacific Northwest. He’s one of the few mythical creatures from America. The Abominable Snowman is also called a Yeti, and Bigfoot is also known as Sasquatch. Never get them mixed up because the differences are huge and the details matter. I grew up watching the History Channel right around the time they were making the shift from legitimate historical facts to bogus stories about ghosts, aliens, and the paranormal. They presented Bigfoot as if he was a real creature. They had plaster casts of his tracks, hair samples, audio recordings, photographs, raw video footage, and reliable eyewitness accounts. The world’s top scientists speculated that it might be a Gigantopithicus, a supposedly extinct species of giant apes. Bigfoot wasn’t a fantasy creature; he was a real animal that was so rare they couldn’t prove that he existed. Then I grew up and started to doubt that there could be a giant species of apes living in the mountains and forests in modern day USA, but every couple of years some hunter claims to have the hide of Bigfoot and he makes the headlines again. It makes me wonder, it makes me wish. Bigfoot may only be a myth and a legend, yet he’s left a legacy that will endure long after you and I are gone. That might not make him real but he definitely exists.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Early Birthday Wishes

Facebook has a feature that informs you of birthdays. It’s a pretty useful tool. It helps it seem like you remembered/cared about the day someone was born. But sometimes people don’t know how time zones work and someone will post a happy birthday message a day early. It’s a nice gesture, but then you’ll suddenly be bombarded by dozens of other early birthday messages because everyone else saw that you had a birthday message and they don’t want to be the asshole that forgot your birthday. Pretty soon your birthday becomes a trending topic a day early and there’s nobody left to wish you a happy birthday on your actual birthday. At least that’s what you’ll tell yourself as you eat cake in bed crying.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Nectarines Are Just Bald Peaches

Some people think that nectarines and peaches are different fruits. Some people even think that nectarines are a hybrid fruit crossbred from peaches and plums. Some people are ignorant and shouldn’t be on your team for Trivia Nights. The truth is that nectarines are just bald peaches. Really. They are the same species. Peaches have the dominant gene for fuzzy skin while nectarines have the recessive gene. Patrick Stewart also has the recessive gene. Peaches get all the glory because they have fuzz. Nectarines are neglected. Like your personal hygiene.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Girls Named Tara

I feel bad for girls named Tara because they have a simple name that can be pronounced two different ways. It’s either sounds like Tar-uh or like Ter-uh, but it’s only one of those. Most people aren’t sure which one to use, so they flip-flop back and forth and say both pronunciations just to be safe. They figure it doesn’t matter if they’re wrong half the time as long as they are still right half the time. They don’t consider that Tara dies a little bit each time someone calls her the wrong name. I think Tara should hang out with Andrea because Andrea knows exactly how she feels. Names are important, learn how to pronounce them correctly or come up with a good nickname to avoid the whole issue.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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