Tag Archives: cream

Java Monster Mean Bean

Java Monster Mean Bean is an energy drink infused with coffee. Or maybe it’s coffee infused with an energy drink. All I know for sure is that it wakes me up in the morning, it makes me shake, and I think I’m developing a heart murmur. It tastes like iced coffee with cream and an excessive amount of sugar. There is no way that this beverage is beneficial to your health, but I still can’t stop drinking it. I like it. Not as much as Red Bull or a regular cup of coffee, but it’s a nice way to mix things up in the morning. I’m not a big fan of Monster energy drinks, but this one is enjoyable. It’s not as good as a Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso, but it gets the job done.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Black Coffee

Black coffee is the term for a regular cup of joe. No sugar, no cream, just plain coffee. Cream and sugar makes the coffee more drinkable, but it also makes it so you can’t taste the nuances in the flavor profile. Black coffee is how coffee is supposed to taste. It’s the real deal, the way that coffee’s been consumed for centuries. It’s how your grandma drank it. It’s how the cowboys drank it. And it’s how you should drink it. You won’t impress anyone by drinking a mocha or a cappuccino, but drinking a black coffee will. Order a black coffee when you’re in a breakfast meeting with your boss and you’ll get that promotion you’ve been gunning for. And if he doesn’t give it to you, you can throw the coffee in his face.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso

You’re feeling drained and need a quick pick-me-up but you don’t know if you want coffee or an energy drink. That’s when you need to get a Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso. It’s espresso and cream in a small 6.5 oz. can. It’s a lot more bitter than a Frappuccino, but the cream helps smooth out the flavor. It has more caffeine than Red Bull. The small can of Red Bull has 80mg of caffeine and a Doubleshot Espresso has 130mg of caffeine. One is usually enough to give you the jitters for a few hours. Starbucks is kind of an obscure brand, but I have the feeling that they are going to blow up soon.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Creamsicle Orange ‘n Cream

Sometimes you feel like dessert on a stick. And on one of these occasions you might try Creamsicle Orange ‘n Cream ice cream bars. It’s made by the same guys who make Popsicles. These are vanilla ice cream bars coated with orange sherbet and stuck on a stick. They are pretty good, despite having a terrible name for a phallic-looking treat you suck on. Why not just call them Cumsicles and get it over with?

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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