Tag Archives: peanuts

Planters Honey Roasted Peanuts

Planters Honey Roasted Peanuts are peanuts that have been salted and roasted with honey. If you’re going to buy peanuts, you might as well buy Planters. And if you’re buying peanuts from Planters, you might as well get the Honey Roasted ones. They taste the best. You get the delectable combination of sweet and salty with a nice solid crunch. You will get a little residue on your hands, but you can get rid of that with a napkin or wiping your hands on your jeans. Planters is a good brand because their peanuts are consistent. You can tell the difference between Planters and generic brands. Generic brand peanuts are often misshapen or off tasting. Planters Honey Roasted Peanuts are a little more expensive, but it’s worth it for the quality.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Gorp

Gorp is a popular term for trail mix. I was brought up thinking that it stood for Good Old Raisins and Peanuts, but I’ve also heard that it stands for Granola, Oats, Raisins and Peanuts. No matter what you call it, it’s still the generic name for trail mix. Gorp is made to give you protein and energy while you’re hiking or camping, but it’s also popular as an everyday healthy snack. There are many variations of trail mix with all kinds of different ingredients like almonds, M&Ms, sunflower seed kernels, cashews, walnuts, and various types of dried fruit. You can eat gorp when you’re sitting on your ass watching TV at home, but it tastes best when you’re outside doing something. Food is fuel and gorp is gasoline. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I like how it sounds. It really does taste better than gasoline, I was being metaphorical.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ballpark Food

You’ve never truly experienced a hotdog until you’ve eaten one at a baseball game. A hotdog is ballpark food and it tastes best at the stadium with your favorite team on the field. There’s something about being at the ballpark that makes food taste better. Hotdogs and Polish sausages and corndogs become a delicacy. Cotton candy is sweeter and fluffier. Peanuts are crunchier, sunflower seeds are saltier, and the Cracker Jacks are top notch. Different ballparks have different menus that reflect their region. They have crab fries in Philly, carne asada fries in San Diego, and garlic fries in San Francisco. Ballpark food is going gourmet too. You can find some truly amazing dishes at stadiums around the MLB. Of course no ballpark meal is complete without a ballpark beer to wash it down with. A ballpark beer is a regular beer, only far more refreshing and five times as expensive.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Snickers Peanut Butter Squared

Snickers Peanut Butter Squared is a flavor variant of Snickers, the classic candy bar and food staple of fat kids everywhere. It’s called Snickers Peanut Butter Squared because it’s a Snickers bar with peanut butter added to it and it’s cut up into cubes. If you like peanut butter, peanuts, caramel, and nougat covered in milk chocolate and served in bite sized pieces, this is the candy bar for you. If that doesn’t sound delicious, you should go to Hell and take your fucked up taste buds with you. This is a good candy bar, and I don’t even like chocolate bars that much. I’m more of a Skittles/Starburst/fruit chew kind of guy. But you can’t go wrong with a Snickers bar and peanut butter is always a welcome addition, so you should get your ass to the store and buy some Snickers Peanut Butter Squared today. You should share it too. It’s always nice to share.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Cracker Jack

Cracker Jack is a delicious blend of caramel coated popcorn and peanuts with a prize. You can’t forget about the prize. There used to be a cool prize like a magic ring or a whistle, but these days it’s usually a temporary tattoo or a paper cutout of some bullshit. Popcorn and peanuts are awesome by themselves, so when they combine their forces and also get caramelized it’s a delight for your taste buds. You don’t eat Cracker Jack every day. In fact, you forget about it for months at a time. But then baseball season comes back and you stars singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” and you get the sudden urge to buy them. That song is product placement at its best.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Baby Ruth

Baby Ruth is an American candy bar. It has peanuts, chocolate flavored nougat, caramel and a chocolate coating. It tastes like a generic Snickers bar. The name is a blatant rip-off of Babe Ruth. The makers claim it’s named after President Grover Cleveland’s daughter Ruth. That’s bullshit. I know it. You know it. They know it. Babe Ruth knows it. It’s a decent candy bar; it just pales in comparison with Snickers.

Critically Rated at 11/17

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Planters Salted Peanuts

Planters sells nuts. Salted and shelled peanuts in this case. According to the ingredients, it contains peanuts and peanut oil. If you are allergic to peanuts I would not recommend them. If you like peanuts and your doctor says it is ok for you to eat them, then I would recommend them. Peanuts are good, and Planters knows how to salt a peanut and make a good thing even better. Good job with these nuts.

Critically Rated at 13/17.

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