Tag Archives: right

Arguing with an Idiot

Everyone has their own opinions and most people want their opinions known. This results in a lot of arguments and debates between people who don’t see eye to eye. I’ve discussed politics, religion, sports, et cetera with friends, family members, and random people at the bar. Most of the time I end up having a decent conversation with someone who has a different viewpoint than me. But occasionally I realize that I’m talking to a complete idiot who has no idea how spectacularly wrong they are.

Case in point: the other day I was talking to a Dodger fan at a baseball game and I mentioned that beach balls in the stands is a Dodger thing. He disagreed and said that beach balls in the stands is a baseball thing. I couldn’t help but laugh at his ignorance. We were sitting in the bleachers at AT&T Park on a gorgeous sunny Saturday afternoon with nary a beach ball in sight. If beach balls are a baseball thing, then where the fuck were all the beach balls? Oh, in Dodger Stadium, that’s right. 

I didn’t bring up that very valid point though because there’s no point in arguing with an idiot. It’s an excercise in futility. If they don’t believe basic facts, they aren’t going to believe you. I want to be clear that he’s not an idiot for being a Dodgers fan. That’s not his fault. Your team is chosen for you before you’re born. He’s an idiot for not realizing that the traditions of Dodger Stadium don’t extend to all of baseball. He probably thinks that every stadium sells Dodger Dogs. They don’t. Just like they don’t do The Chop outside of Atlanta. Don’t argue with stupid people. You’re never going to change their mind. It’s a waste of time and energy. Ignorance is bliss and sometimes people want to be happy. Let them believe the world is flat.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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That’s Right, I’m Never Wrong

I was having a casual argument with my girlfriend the other night (the kind where you bicker back and forth mostly out of boredom rather than anger), and I finally caved in and relented, giving her the victory and telling her that she was right. She responded by saying, “That’s right, I’m never wrong.” I responded by laughing and writing that down. That’s right, I’m never wrong. It has a certain poetry to it. It’s certainly a paradox. It’s a contradictory statement that’s both false and true. I’ve dubbed it the girlfriend paradox because she doesn’t have to be right in order to win the argument.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Wrong Earbud

Lots of people have iPhones and iPods because Apple has taken over the world. So you see lots of people rocking those iconic white headphones. You might have noticed that they have an L and an R on each ear bud so you know which ear to stick them in. The L bud goes in your left ear. The R bud goes in your right ear. It’s a pretty simple concept but some people don’t get it. Maybe they don’t want to conform (but then they wouldn’t have an iPhone). Maybe they are just really lazy or super ignorant. They look pretty retarded either way. And it’s pathetic not being able to listen to music right.  Apple products are expensive and trendy so you want to show them off. Wearing your headphones wrong is like buying a designer shirt and wearing it inside out. You’re telling everyone that you can afford it but don’t deserve it. I might not ever learn your name but I already know that I despise you.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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