Tag Archives: ear

Wet Willy

A Wet Willy is when you lick your finger and stick it in someone’s ear. It’s an awesome prank… if you are 9-years-old. Once you hit double digits it’s time to retire that shit. First off you shouldn’t do shit to other people that you wouldn’t appreciate if you’re on the receiving end of it. Giving someone a Wet Willy is essentially spitting in their ear. Don’t give someone a Wet Willy if you don’t want a loogie on your face. And if have the balls to give someone a Wet Willy, then you should man up and admit it. Don’t lie and say you didn’t lick your finger, that it was just water the whole time. Just embrace the fact that you’re an asshole and confess. Don’t pretend that your victim is cool with your bodily fluids in their orifices and accept responsibility for the shit that you do. If that seems like too much of hassle, then you should avoid giving out Wet Willies, it’s a simple as that. And yes, I was the victim of a Wet Willy today.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Wrong Earbud

Lots of people have iPhones and iPods because Apple has taken over the world. So you see lots of people rocking those iconic white headphones. You might have noticed that they have an L and an R on each ear bud so you know which ear to stick them in. The L bud goes in your left ear. The R bud goes in your right ear. It’s a pretty simple concept but some people don’t get it. Maybe they don’t want to conform (but then they wouldn’t have an iPhone). Maybe they are just really lazy or super ignorant. They look pretty retarded either way. And it’s pathetic not being able to listen to music right.  Apple products are expensive and trendy so you want to show them off. Wearing your headphones wrong is like buying a designer shirt and wearing it inside out. You’re telling everyone that you can afford it but don’t deserve it. I might not ever learn your name but I already know that I despise you.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants